I Can't Stand this Woman!!

VSUPhiMu · #1 08-08-2003, 10:08 AM

OK, I'm getting married in September to a guy I've dated for like ever. We recently put our engagement announcement in the paper just like everybody else does and included all of the information the paper asked for. So the paper makes like 7 errors throughout the announcement, which aren't so big that my parents and I think we should re-run it.

BUT...my bf's mom goes down to the paper and bit**es them out, calls me like 5 names and demands they re-run it. She never even called me. But this is what gets me...she KNEW I included all the info they asked for bc she saw the form at the paper's office. She ignores that and tells my bf that I excluded her parent's names and their hometowns. BUT I DIDN'T!!!! AND SHE KNEW IT!!

I feel like this woman just hates me bc it's been like this as long as we've dated, which is since like 7th grade. It's almost like she attacks me every chance she gets...knowing I didn't do anything wrong. So can somebody please tell me what to do before I beat this bit*h with a crowbar??

ETA: I do have to say that I have kept my mouth shut for a long time and have been as inviting as possible. Like I asked her to go see my dress 3 times in one day, and she tells bf I never asked her at all. I've been very mature and adult-like....just had to add that bc I do make an effort!

bethany1982 · #2 08-08-2003, 10:31 AM

It's not likely to get any better. I hope you can live with it. How does your b/f handle this type of thing?

moe.ron · #3 08-08-2003, 10:54 AM

just slap her silly and say "Women, shut up, sit down."

The1calledTKE · #4 08-08-2003, 10:59 AM

Some parents see nobody as good enough for their kid. Just keep killing her with kindness, she will have to give in eventually.

pinkyphimu · #5 08-08-2003, 11:05 AM

if this woman is going to be your mother in law, it sounds like you need to have a chat with your hubby to be. he needs to tell her to cut the crap!! when mom-in-law- starts with, she doesn't xyz. hubby needs to tell her that you asked yesterday...or whatever and tell mil to start acting like an adult! it sounds like she is having trouble sharing her "baby."

CC1GC · #6 08-08-2003, 12:01 PM

Okay, my sister has dated a guy for about 4 years who had a mother just like this. She was a super-bitch to my sister, and had no apparent reason. Her mother would do anything to keep them apart, including sending him down to Texas to work for a partner of his dad's company (we live in Ontario). I always thought it was cowardly for him not to stand up to his mother. Well, they eventually broke up...but last i heard he's back in the picture again, i'm not 100% sure. I'll know for sure because i'm going home this weekend and will see how things are going there...let me post in a few more days with more advice

texas*princess · #7 08-08-2003, 12:07 PM

wow.. the scenario you describe kind of reminds me of one of my bosses at work. she's just plain psychotic.

I hope things get at least on a tolerable level for you!!!

lifesaver · #8 08-08-2003, 12:14 PM

This is gonna sound dick, but who the phuck cares where your future in-laws were born.

The only errors I'd give a shit about are spelling. Cause thats just stupid. Everyones got access to spell check.

If the date is wrong, it doesnt matter, becasue the only peeps who really need to know are getting an invite.

The point of an announcent in the paper is to let the world that its gonna happen. Anything else is gravy and if shes getting all worked up about other specifics, it just seems kinda foolish. Dont ya'll have enough other stuff to worry about than some announcement that no one remembers anything else from other than that you all are getting married?

Tell the beyatch to go to hell. Its your wedding, not hers.

greeklawgirl · #9 08-08-2003, 12:25 PM

What does your fiance say about his mother's behavior? Has he stood up to her and told her that her tantrums are unacceptable?

Unfortunately, until he stands up and says something--and backs up his words with action--she will continue to run roughshod over the both of you. Its not your job to put her in her place, its his, and the situation will NEVER improve until he says something.

Then again, there are some people that are so far gone around the bend that nothing anyone says will improve their behavior. In that case, I suggest moving far, far, away.

Good luck to you, come what may!

FeeFee · #10 08-08-2003, 12:25 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by lifesaver
This is gonna sound dick, but who the phuck cares where your future in-laws were born.

The only errors I'd give a shit about are spelling. Cause thats just stupid. Everyones got access to spell check.

If the date is wrong, it doesnt matter, becasue the only peeps who really need to know are getting an invite.

The point of an announcent in the paper is to let the world that its gonna happen. Anything else is gravy and if shes getting all worked up about other specifics, it just seems kinda foolish. Dont ya'll have enough other stuff to worry about than some announcement that no one remembers anything else from other than that you all are getting married?

Tell the beyatch to go to hell. Its your wedding, not hers.

Yeah, the "subject" of the announcement is the engaged couple themselves, not their parents or where the parents were born. I don't know what to tell you except it seems like you have your work cut out for you. This should be a time for your fiance to step in and stand up to his mother. Him not being able to do so will only make matters worse. Keep us posted.

bafromkc · #11 08-08-2003, 01:41 PM

sounds like you might have some issues to work out before the wedding. things will probablly only get worse. good luck though.

chicagoagd · #12 08-08-2003, 01:49 PM

I would say that your problem is more with him than his mother. She is picking at you every chance she gets and it sounds like he is allowing it to happen. If he's allowing this now, it will never cease. In a marriage you'll never resolve anything, you learn to agree to disagree on most problems. Can you live with him thinking that she means it in a good way and you shouldn't take this so personally? You may decide to take the high road and let it pass, but I can predict that your self-esteem will go down, you'll be unhappy, and you'll resent him AND her. I know a lot of planning has gone into the wedding, but your finace allowing anyone to make you feel bad (even his mother), seems like a dealbreaker to me.

sigmagrrl · #13 08-08-2003, 02:02 PM

The importance of the annoucement sounds like a Southern thing...

I agree with greeklawgirl. A man who doesn't stand up to his mother for his wife's sake is no man you should want.

You are his first priority and worry now, not Hot-Headed Momma...

SHEESH!!!

dzsaigirl · #14 08-08-2003, 02:36 PM

I work with a woman who is like this! She is the devil incarnate!

What you can do is make sure that your fiance is ALWAYS around when you are with her, at least for a few months. That way, everything that you say is heard by the she-devil and your fiance...That way she can't "forget" (ahem) what you have asked/told her.

Also, he seriously needs to have a talk with her. Maybe he could ask how she really feels about you or say that he has noticed that she treats you unfairly, etc. Important though, is the fact that he should NOT let her know that you have inquired about this! If she will be finding out that you have a problem with her, the news should come from you, not him. Probing into the situation by your fi is okay though.

Of course, you are the one in the situation, so you are a better judge of what would and would not go over well...Best of luck...I am not too fond of my inlaws although they seem to like me

I just wish they were nicer people.

VSUPhiMu · #15 08-08-2003, 02:50 PM

Thanks for all of the advice. I have to say that he's very good about taking up for me, but she is one of the most irrational people I've ever met. If something goes wrong, it's my fault. She's known for being dishonest and not someone you really want to be around, but he's nothing like her! The paper left off her mother's name, but they did put Mr. & Mrs. XXX XXXXX. So what's the big deal? I didn't make the mistake, they did, but she still picks on me.

He told her that she was ruining their relationship, but she ignores him and says that she's not coming to the wedding, etc, etc....other irrational thoughts. We agree the bottom line is that she either does a complete 180 (yeah, right) or he cuts off contact with her....it's THAT bad. My parents refuse to let me go to his house again, so I won't have to see her.

Thanks again!!