Should I tell?

White_Chocolate · #1 08-04-2003, 11:30 AM

Characters: me, Melody, Mark, and their neighbor or various guys from the club

Story: Melody and Mark have been dating 4 years, living together 1 yr. I've known Melody for 3 yrs. and Mark less than that but we converse on the phone. She complains all of the time that he doesn't show her any affection. He stays home and she goes out to the club. When we go out, Melody makes out with various guys. . .recently, their next door neighbor. This happens almost every week that we go to the club. This week, I finally told her that she needs to stop. If she's so unhappy, she should leave him but she won't because he's paying for the apartment that he lives in with her kid. Plus, she's "invested too much time" and she's "ready to settle down". If that is the case, why does she make out with random guys every time we go out?

Dilemna: I think Mark is proposing to Melody on their trip to Florida. Should I tell him? Or should I threaten to tell him about the makeout sessions?

lifesaver · #2 08-04-2003, 11:45 AM

Bad situation. I'd find a way to force her to tell him. Tell her, "its not right and if you are ready to settle, than do it. So either cut that chit out or tell him. If I see it happening again after you say youre quitting, I'll tell Mark."

Its simple pimple.

sigtau305 · #3 08-04-2003, 11:50 AM

threaten. maybe then, she'll stop..

texas*princess · #4 08-04-2003, 11:59 AM

I think she should DEFINATELY talk to the guy b/c something is lacking in their relationship. Maybe she should ask something like WHY he doesn't show her affection?

It could be something as simple as he's just extremely tired after work or something like that and is just ready to go to sleep once he gets home.

If he didn't love her, would he be proposing? (Maybe that's something she should think about)

What she is doing is just wrong plain & simple.

I think he should definatley know about it, but I don't really know if it's your place to let him in on the secret.

James · #5 08-04-2003, 12:12 PM

You have to tell lol. Think what an awesome story that would be to come back and tell us!

But honestly. Thats never a safe message to bear. My question to you would be:

Why do you suddenly want to get invovled? Why do you even chat with your Girls friends live-in-lover? Isn't that a little wierd?

Inquiring minds want to know lol.

But, if the issue is that the essential unfairness really bothers you, and it has very little to do with your personal relationship with the boy, then you should follow your conscience.

You know, you might even want to take some pics of her cheating . . do you have a phone camera? Or know someone that does lol?

James · #6 08-04-2003, 12:19 PM

Also . . . and let me blunt. Maybe he he is sensing that she is sucking strange dicks on the sly?

It might affect my affection level if my GF came up with strange dick on her breath . . .

Quote:

Originally posted by texas*princess
I think she should DEFINATELY talk to the guy b/c something is lacking in their relationship. Maybe she should ask something like WHY he doesn't show her affection?

It could be something as simple as he's just extremely tired after work or something like that and is just ready to go to sleep once he gets home.

If he didn't love her, would he be proposing? (Maybe that's something she should think about)

What she is doing is just wrong plain & simple.

I think he should definatley know about it, but I don't really know if it's your place to let him in on the secret.

Eirene_DGP · #7 08-04-2003, 12:56 PM

In those type of situations, I always think the one in the know (you) should tell. How would you feel if you were the guy? How do you think he would feel if/when he finds out and realizes you knew the entire time? Considering that she went with you...it could backfire and make you look like the guilty party.

White_Chocolate · #8 08-04-2003, 01:44 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by James
Why do you suddenly want to get invovled? Why do you even chat with your Girls friends live-in-lover? Isn't that a little wierd?

I don't know why I'm bothered. . .especially since I could do the same thing but I choose to be mature and break up with a guy if I know I have the tendency to still makeout with other guys.

And I only chat with Mark on the phone. . .and it's stuff like 'Did you see the Mets game?' or 'hey, my car is making a strange noise.'

I don't do anything past waiting for her to get on the phone.

Hootie · #9 08-04-2003, 03:54 PM

I'd keep the info to myself. It'll only cause problems and ruin friendships and relationships. If you're not close to him as you are to her then your alliance should be with her...and that means if you're a friend and you don't agree with what's going on you should tell her off....NOT HIM. He's not your alliance and going to him with this is like stabbing your friend in the back.

MoxieGrrl · #10 08-04-2003, 04:14 PM

Threaten her that you are going to tell. Maybe she'll have the sense to say "no" to him if this is what she wants to keep doing. If not, maybe the proposal will make her realize that he really does care and she can spend a little more time working on him to be affectionate.

SigmaChiCard · #11 08-04-2003, 08:30 PM

he needs to know, but she needs to tell him, not you...But don't let her know you think that, find her achilles heel & press.

sherbertlemons · #12 08-04-2003, 09:43 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Hootie
I'd keep the info to myself. It'll only cause problems and ruin friendships and relationships. If you're not close to him as you are to her then your alliance should be with her...and that means if you're a friend and you don't agree with what's going on you should tell her off....NOT HIM. He's not your alliance and going to him with this is like stabbing your friend in the back.

Ditto. Plus, if you aren't very close to him, he might well question your motives and your honesty. That may cause him to ignore your well intentioned warning, besides pissing her off. In my experience, even when warned by a good friend with only their best interests in mind, most people still have to see it for themselves.

I would continue to encourage her to talk to him, and do nothing beyond that. He'll discover the truth for himself eventually.You have no real pressing reason to get involved, and it could land you in a heap of trouble.

APhiRattlerGal · #13 08-04-2003, 10:20 PM

In my humble opinion and my b/f's humble opinion we think you should just tell the guy what is going on.

The Grapist · #14 08-04-2003, 11:50 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by White_Chocolate
Characters: me, Melody, Mark, and their neighbor or various guys from the club

Story: Melody and Mark have been dating 4 years, living together 1 yr. I've known Melody for 3 yrs. and Mark less than that but we converse on the phone. She complains all of the time that he doesn't show her any affection. He stays home and she goes out to the club. When we go out, Melody makes out with various guys. . .recently, their next door neighbor. This happens almost every week that we go to the club. This week, I finally told her that she needs to stop. If she's so unhappy, she should leave him but she won't because he's paying for the apartment that he lives in with her kid. Plus, she's "invested too much time" and she's "ready to settle down". If that is the case, why does she make out with random guys every time we go out?

Dilemna: I think Mark is proposing to Melody on their trip to Florida. Should I tell him? Or should I threaten to tell him about the makeout sessions?

This post has been graped on by The Grapist! Of course you should tell the guy! It's the right thing to do, she won't ever do it. The fact that you are debating on this, is morally apprehensible!

AXJules · #15 08-04-2003, 11:58 PM

You're The Grapist.
THAT'S morally reprehensible.