Roommates Rushing

tunatartare · #1 07-23-2003, 11:16 PM

Hey guys, my roommate who's one of my closest friends at college wants to rush and to pledge my sorority in the fall. I know that during rush sisters aren't allowed to talk to rushees until they've either accepted or declined their bids. I just wanna know how this works when a sister lives with a rushee. Has this happened to anyone before?

astroAPhi · #2 07-23-2003, 11:32 PM

Well, we were always told to write a letter to our Panhellenic council explaining that we lived with someone who planned on rushing, and that we would not try to alter or influence her decision in any way.

GeekyPenguin · #3 07-23-2003, 11:33 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by DaisyKLP
Hey guys, my roommate who's one of my closest friends at college wants to rush and to pledge my sorority in the fall. I know that during rush sisters aren't allowed to talk to rushees until they've either accepted or declined their bids. I just wanna know how this works when a sister lives with a rushee. Has this happened to anyone before?

Is this a rule your sorority has? Are you members of a Panhellenic Council?

If the answer to both of those questions is NO, then it doesn't apply to you and you can talk to her all you want. The "strict silence" rule is generally part of formal recruitment orchestrated by a local Panhellenic.

tunatartare · #4 07-23-2003, 11:35 PM

We aren't members of the Panhellenic, but we do follow the "Strict Silence" rule and we have rush in the way that the NPC sororities on campus do.l

sugar and spice · #5 07-23-2003, 11:36 PM

I've heard that, at least on some campuses, if the rushee and the sister have a "previous relationship" then the strict silence rule is void. Your case might fall into that, if that's a rule your campus has -- but you should probably check out the rules on your individual campus.

Peaches-n-Cream · #6 07-23-2003, 11:37 PM

A few of my friends have had this problem. You just don't talk to your roommate about sorority life and recruitment. Also, I suggest that you only spent time together in your room. Pretty much you can't socialize with her until bids are distributed. It is difficult, but necessary. It depends on your campus' policy so check that out.

trisigmaAtl · #7 07-23-2003, 11:39 PM

One of my roomates is also a pnm. It is our panhellenic's policy that "long standing friendships" get some special consideration during rush. A long standing friendship is considered one that has existed for over one year. I've known my roomate for three so she's allowed to ride in my car (we carpool to and from campus), I can lend her money for a soda, I can be alone in a room with her without any other sorority sisters or px's present (duh we live together). Of course we can't talk about rush itself, and we still have to observe some more sort of silence on bid day, but it's alot looser than with other pnms. It's not like we'll really have TIME to talk about rush once the week actually begins, we'll be running around on different schedules and dead tired at night. I think this policy exists because we have quite a few upper classmen who rush (like my roomate) and limiting their contact with sisters would be silly. I plan on acting like nothing's different, and avoiding the subject of rush as much as I possibly can. I don't want it to come between us, or make her feel like she's getting special treatment for reasons other than that we live together. It's kind of a sticky situation personally, but at least I don't have to worry about getting an infraction on my house for living with her.

rhosigmazeta · #8 07-24-2003, 12:32 AM

sorry girl this doesn't have much to do with ur question but i'm gonna rant just for the good ol time sake of it all lol plus u gave me permission hehe

my first semester of college i went away to school and i got this roomate who didn't like me very much for whatever reason anyways i saw rush was comming up and i dragged her along kicking and screaming...anyways to make a long story short she got a bid and I didn't she moved in with her sorority and never talked to any of us agian...she no longer had time for the little people hehe

no disrespect for the grl tho, i thought she rocked, wish i still talked to her...

pinkyphimu · #9 07-24-2003, 12:51 AM

well, i think that you need to make it clear to her that you aren't going to talk about rush at all with her! if you start the school year with the knowledge that you will not discuss rush (what to wear, etc) until bid day, then things she be ok. you may also want to talk to her about what happens if she doesn't get a bid...ie. let her know that no matter what happens, you will always be her friend and her roomie!

aephi alum · #10 07-24-2003, 09:01 AM

I've shared a suite with PNMs, but never a room. We had a very strict silence rule - you couldn't talk to any freshmen/transfer women at all (except to tell them you couldn't talk to them) even if they weren't participating in formal recruitment. It wasn't easy, but honestly, I was so busy with work week and rush that I scarcely spent any time in my suite.

You could talk freely to sophomores and up (except transfers) and you could get exemptions for new students whom you'd known outside school (siblings, people from your home town, etc). This allowed you to talk about anything except rush.

I'd find out exactly what rules apply to your situation, then pass that info along to your roommate, before the strict silence period starts if necessary.

SATX*APhi · #11 07-24-2003, 09:06 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by sugar and spice
I've heard that, at least on some campuses, if the rushee and the sister have a "previous relationship" then the strict silence rule is void. Your case might fall into that, if that's a rule your campus has -- but you should probably check out the rules on your individual campus.

If this were were instated on my campus, then most likely everybody would be able to talk to everybody. My campus is hella small (2500 undergrads). Everybody knows everybody, just like high school.

How about that for random thought of the day.

MoxieGrrl · #12 07-24-2003, 11:08 AM

I completely understand, SATX.

Our Panhell rules state that 2nd semster, the sorority members cannot speak to any freshman women who are going through recruitment, unless they have a family relationship to us. We've actually had girls not go through with recruitment because they didn't want to be without their friends for a month and would end up COB-ing.

*edited for me leaving out words

ilovemyglo · #13 07-24-2003, 11:17 AM

You guys have it made if you can write a letter! At my school, it was the responsibility of the sorority member to MOVE OUT and find some place else to live during rush. Now if you have a long drawn out recruitment- like at IU- then you can't move out for MONTHS- but at my school it is only for one week, so the sisters move out of their room and usually into the house with some sisters that are nice enough to invite them in!

CutiePie2000 · #14 07-24-2003, 11:54 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by DaisyKLP
Hey guys, my roommate who's one of my closest friends at college wants to rush and to pledge my sorority in the fall. I know that during rush sisters aren't allowed to talk to rushees until they've either accepted or declined their bids. I just wanna know how this works when a sister lives with a rushee. Has this happened to anyone before?

I don't have any advice, but you should prepare for the possibility that she might not get a bid and could be kind of upset/angry? After all, there are no guarantees in rush and it would be terrible to be living in such an awkward situation. I'll keep my fingers crossed that all will be well!

rocketaxid · #15 07-24-2003, 03:23 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by ilovemyglo
You guys have it made if you can write a letter! At my school, it was the responsibility of the sorority member to MOVE OUT and find some place else to live during rush. Now if you have a long drawn out recruitment- like at IU- then you can't move out for MONTHS- but at my school it is only for one week, so the sisters move out of their room and usually into the house with some sisters that are nice enough to invite them in!

It's the same way at my school, you, the sorority member, has to find other accomidations for the week, they are with another sisiter most of the time.

I do feel sorry for everyone with recruitment after schools begins. We moved ours to the week before so these problems no longer exist. Plus it's nice as a freshman to go to the first day of classes with all kinds of new friends.