Sisterfriend Radar

MsFoxyLoxy77 · #1 07-09-2003, 02:37 PM

Why does it seem like many non-sisterfriends on my campus are training to build up a "Sisterfriend Radar?" As times have changed it seems to me that events where sisterfriends and sorority members could converse are being intruded upon by individuals whom absolutely have no interest in the organization. I can remember going to an event my freshman year and the majority if not all the girls present were interested. Those that weren't interested were atleast mindful of the fact that interests were probably at the sorority function and were atleast hush hush on who they saw at the event. Now I know many of these events are open to the public, in fact, many of these events are actually services to the public--but its quite disturbing when I hear from a fellow sisterfriend that a distant acquaintance approached her and asked her "how was the tea last night?" I can remember that I was at a campus wide student entertainment party and I heard an acquaintance of mine say f*** those IGs. The acquaintance was directing her comment at three girls who had left the room minutes ago. Now, the acquaintance did not know then (but I suspect she knows now) that I am a sisterfriend, so I asked her how she knew those girls were IGs (I knew them to be fellow sisterfriends) and she told me "people talk." It just seems to me that a lot more people even if drawn to the interesting events put on by the sorority are being TOO "mindful" of who they see at these events in an ongoing effort to sharpen their "Sisterfriends Radar" and possibly out or harm even very discrete sisterfriends if they feel provoked or for no reason at all.

I'm interested to hear other opinions on this subject.

Senusret I · #2 07-09-2003, 03:50 PM

Don't worry about what other people think....that's always been my philosophy.

sigmadiva · #3 07-09-2003, 05:31 PM

Are you saying that there are those out there who are 'haters' of those young ladies who are sincererly interested in an org? If so, don't let them bother you. Some people just can't stand for others to be happy and strive for a goal.

Forgive me for being slow today, but what is an IG?

btb87 · #4 07-09-2003, 05:36 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by sigmadiva

Forgive me for being slow today, but what is an IG?

Girl, I ain't gon' lie - I just skrait out, flat out don't know what it is!

RedefinedDiva · #5 07-09-2003, 05:37 PM

I don't worry about those people. They are just jealous that they didn't make it or don't have a chance of making it.

Diva_56 · #6 07-09-2003, 09:15 PM

IG means Interested Girl(s)...

Soror Asia
Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority Inc.
Xi Xi Chapter
Herbert H. Lehman College
Spring 2002

btb87 · #7 07-09-2003, 09:50 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Diva_56
IG means Interested Girl(s)...

Thank you Soror! I've been out of school for a number of years, and I pledged a small, graduate chapter, so I'm not familiar with a lot of the terminology these days. . .

RedefinedDiva · #8 07-09-2003, 09:56 PM

I know what it means, but I never use that term. I hardly ever hear it used to often.

1focused1 · #9 07-10-2003, 12:38 AM

Hello ladies, I am usually a silent observer. I just wanted to comment on this. I think I understand your question. I know of girls who are not interested in organizations who go to rushes, teas, informationals, just events all together, to see who is there so that they can find out who is interested in what organization. Like someone said earlier, it's hard for the young ladies who are trying to be discreet, but who are trying to show their interest in an organization by supporting their events. So, when someone sees you at an event or many events given by the same organization, and they have diarrhea at the mouth telling people they saw you there, it's hard to maintain a certain level of discretion.

nachural · #10 07-10-2003, 02:01 AM

well from reading past posts by members, I feel that your aquaintance, who seems to be all up in it, shouldnt be your aquaintance as an interest. Since she isnt and ig and you are, members might associate you with her and think you are not interested as well.

I guess it's good that organizations have programs that non igs want to attend. But people must have absolutely no life if they go just to see who's there. Where I com from we call those people NUFF (enough/ too much etc.)

Just dont let her non interest rub off on you. Make the members well aware you are not like her. I think member friend endroad said her sorors are always watching you so watch your company.

and stay nachural

Diva_56 · #11 07-10-2003, 02:47 PM

I concur with nachural...

Your quest to AKA it aught to be one where you are very careful who you deal with. Haters are everywhere and you must be careful. Now the person who shouted out the IG's at the party from your post doesn't know yet that you yourself are indeed an IG... keep it that way. Let them be shocked when you are blessed enough to come out on your yard with your held high. Then they will REALLY HATE!

A K A
The only way.
Saintly Pearl
Xi Xi Chapter
Spring 02

ModelSF · #12 07-10-2003, 03:21 PM

I agree with everything that's been said. It's sad that some people have nothing better to do but hey...what can you do about it. Just make sure you distance yourself from those people.

I had a similar problem. I knew that I wanted to be apart of a sorority and even if I wanted to tell my friends, I couldn't, (even though I would never tell them which one). Whenever the topic of greeks in general came up, they would swear how it was stupid to buy friends, and do whatever just to belong, etc. They always had something negative to say. So finally I went to lunch with a member on my campus and expressed my interest and she basically told me to get rid of all the negative around me even if it included so called friends. If they couldn't be happy for something that I thought was important then what kind of friends where they anyway. Sometimes its hard to just stop being around people but it usually pays off.

AKA_Monet · #13 07-10-2003, 04:46 PM

On school campuses, it is hard to know what is cool and what is uncool. So some folks just reject the whole idea and make up their own way of coolness, which makes those that choose that way have to be strong to stand up for their beliefs in spite of things...

One would not have made that comment if she, herself what not interested at one time... She herself is rebuking the system that has developed for individuals to join sororities... The question is, how should one show interest in a sorority given what the members themselves are unable to do?

Many of my sands in other chapters that entered under similar circumstances as I in an undergraduate chapter, were told: "Birds of a feather flock together..." It is a matter of what is important to you. If you desire a goal, will you let someone stop you? Who is going to be in control of your achievement? And why would you care if someone says anything? Are you not going to do what you ultimately what to do in the long run?

Maybe I have gotten too old to relate to this stuff, so I'll stop here...

MDE · #14 07-10-2003, 08:07 PM

Hello all,

I agree with all of the replies made thus far.

However, I have found as an interest, that it is somewhat INEVITABLE to hide your interest forever. I say this b/c if the chapter you are interested in holds regular functions, which hopefully you are attending, people are going to see you there. (Arriving, leaving, etc.) That was one of my biggest fears when I first started attending events and making my interest known. (Who saw me? Who knows? What do they think?) But, as long as you are NOT running your mouth to others about which org you want to join, which members you've been talking to, what they said, then you'll be okay.

I would also advise every sisterfriend to strongly watch the dynamic between the members in your chapter of interest and the other interested girls (IGs) BEFORE you become friends with another IG ask yourself: Which IGs are consistent? Do the members like/know her? How does she present herself *both* at events and in general (i.e. around campus)?

There is a difference between being friendly (which we should always do) and BEFRIENDING someone. Once you've been able to identify some of these IGs, paired with the fact you are **equally prepared & together-of course**, start to talk to some of the other IGs. I did this and it has really proved to be beneficial to me. It's not an exact science...I'm still trying to politely shake off 2 IGs who I know are just trying to pump me for info...but that's a totally different topic.

************************************************** **
Since I brought it up, my question to both members & sisterfriends is:

How do you distance yourself from a shady IG? You know, the girl who is too busy for events, doesn't know ANY of the members, but always wants to call you afterwards to ask "What happened?"

Paradise359 · #15 07-10-2003, 11:37 PM

Shady IG's are everywhere! But I think all serious sisterfriends have experienced that one girl who seems to be everywhere you are and basically stalks you b/c she thinks that you have a good chance of getting in. I had a girl who stalked me & a friend of mine b/c she said they seemed to really like me. That may be the case but that's none of her business

She used to stalk my sister who is now in another sorority, to try & get close to me! Crazy. But don't worry, the members know who is sincere & who is criminally insane or insincere. Just make sure you don't encourage the "shady IG" b/c you don't want death by association! lol

But I think it's wise to just be kind and speak to people, b/c amongst us is where the next line comes from. But you can tell the difference btw a real sisterFRIEND and a shady young lady. I have been friends for about two years with a girl I met form going to programs. So you can form real relationships with girls who are there for the right reasons.