Andy Rooney for President!

[ZZ-kai-]

He's got my vote:

Subject: The next President?


ANDY FOR PRESIDENT:
Andy Rooney said on 60 minutes a few weeks back: (for those of you that
don't know Andy Rooney, he is a 82 year old US TV commentator)


I like big cars, big boats, big motorcycles, big houses and big
campfires.

I believe the money I make belongs to me and my family, not some
governmental stooge with a bad comb-over who wants to give it away to
crack addicts for squirting out babies.

Guns do not make you a killer. I think killing makes you a killer. You
can kill someone with a baseball bat or a car, but no one is trying to ban
you from driving to the ball game.

I believe they are called the Boy Scouts for a reason, that is why there
are no girls allowed. Girls belong in the Girl Scouts! ARE YOU LISTENING
MARTHA BURKE?

I think that if you feel homosexuality is wrong, it is not a phobia, it
is an opinion.

I don't think being a minority makes you a victim of anything except
numbers. The only things I can think of that are truly discriminatory
are things like the United Negro College Fund, Jet Magazine, Black
Entertainment Television, and Miss Black America. Try to have things like the United
Caucasian College Fund, Cloud Magazine, White Entertainment Television,
or Miss White America; and see what happens. Jesse Jackson will be
knocking down your door.

I have the right "NOT" to be tolerant of others because they are
different, weird, or tick me off.

When 70% of the people who get arrested are black, in cities where 70%
of the population is black, that is not racial profiling. It is the Law of
Probability.

I know what sex is, and there are not varying degrees of it. If I
received sex from one of my subordinates in my office, it wouldn't be a private
matter or my personal business. I would be "FIRED" immediately!

I believe that if you are selling me a milk shake, a pack of cigarettes,
a newspaper or a hotel room, you must do it in English! As a matter of
fact, if you want to be an American citizen, you should have to speak English!


My father and grandfather didn't die in vain so you can leave the
countries you were born in to come over and disrespect ours. I think the police
should have every right to shoot your sorry self if you threaten them
after they tell you to stop. If you can't understand the word "freeze" or
"stop" in English, see the above lines.

I feel much safer letting a machine with no political affiliation
recount votes when needed. I know what the definition of lying is.

I don't think just because you were not born in this country, you are
qualified for any special loan programs, government sponsored bank loans
or tax breaks, etc., so you can open a hotel, coffee shop, trinket store,
or any other business.

We did not go to the aid of certain foreign countries and risk our lives
in wars to defend their freedoms so that decades later they could come over
here and tell us our constitution is a living document; and open to
their interpretations.

I don't hate the rich. I don't pity the poor.

I know pro wrestling is fake, but so are movies and television. That
doesn't stop you from watching them.

I believe a self-righteous liberal, or conservative with a cause, is
more dangerous than a Hell's Angel with an attitude.

I think Bill Gates has every right to keep every penny he made and
continue to make more. If it ticks you off, go and invent the next operating
system that's better, and put your name on the building. Ask your buddy that
invented the Internet to help you.

It doesn't take a whole village to raise a child right, but it does take
a parent to stand up to the kid; and smack their little behinds when
necessary, and say "NO!"

"I think tattoos and piercing are fine if you want them, but please
don't pretend they are a political statement. And, please, stay home until
that new lip ring heals. I don't want to look at your ugly infected mouth as
you serve me French fries!

I am sick of "Political Correctness." I know a lot of black people, and
not a single one of them was born in Africa; so how can they be "African
Americans"? Besides, Africa is a continent. I don't go around saying I
am a European American because my great, great, great, great, great, great
grandfather was from Europe. I am proud to be from America and nowhere
else.

And if you don't like my point of view, tough. DON'T PASS IT ON!!