Looking back on Greek years

[Sverige]

I know this being a greek website and all, most of the answers to my question will strongly be one sided. However, for those of you who are now out of the college enviroment, do you look back and think sometimes how stupid it was being greek? I've come to realize that outside of college no one really gives a rats ass if your greek or not. In fact, many people look at it as a crutch or an excuse in case they screw up in college. I'm by no means downing the greek system, but rather was curious as to how some of you look back on your youthful days.

I think being in a frat was extremely fun and gave me future buisness contacts as well as life long friends. However, I do realize that had I not been in such an organization I probably wouldn't have done some of the stupid shit I did. The greek system I was apart of was big, unlike many of the small greek systems in the US. I was talking to a few friends the other day, who were all in different frats, and we all agreed it was an easy way to meet girls and get easy sex. Other than those two reasons, we couldn't rationally come up with any logical reason for joining a fraternity. At the time, in college, it seemed like the right thing to do since many guys were doing it. It was definitely a plus, when meeting girls, to be in a frat. But sometimes I look back and think, " what the fuck was I thinking?" I guess what I'm trying to say is, i don't see how being greek can completely change ones life. I do see how it can get you into trouble while at the same time making life long bonds with other men, but in my view you have to be one weak minded, low self esteemed individual for it to just completely change eveything about you, as one person has recently informed me it did to them.

At the very most it was a lot of fun and gave me unforgetable memories. It did both good and bad things for me. In my opinion though, it should be left at the University. What are some of your thoughts on this?

[kateshort]

Originally posted by Sverige
I know this being a greek website and all, most of the answers to my question will strongly be one sided. However, for those of you who are now out of the college enviroment, do you look back and think sometimes how stupid it was being greek?

Sometimes. I think that some of the stuff *that we did* was stupid, but it wasn't just being greek. I know lots of girls who did stoopid isht with their friends within their dorm and major. -shrug- It's one of those groupthink things.

Originally posted by Sverige
I've come to realize that outside of college no one really gives a rats ass if your greek or not. In fact, many people look at it as a crutch or an excuse in case they screw up in college.

It depends on who you hang around with. For some people, their fraternity brothers and sorority sisters are still their best friends. For others, they're in business with other former greeks who have respect for leadership and character (assuming, of course, that they're one of those greeks that exhibits those things instead of becoming a poster child for venereal disease and liver failure!).

Originally posted by Sverige
I was talking to a few friends the other day, who were all in different frats, and we all agreed it was an easy way to meet girls and get easy sex. Other than those two reasons, we couldn't rationally come up with any logical reason for joining a fraternity.

Well, maybe your fraternities only did stuff like that! Today, many fraternities and sororities are much more balanced-- as much community service, friendship, and doofy stuff like bowling as there is drinking, dancing, and hooking up. Programming and leadership training are on the rise.

Originally posted by Sverige
I guess what I'm trying to say is, i don't see how being greek can completely change ones life. I do see how it can get you into trouble while at the same time making life long bonds with other men, but in my view you have to be one weak minded, low self esteemed individual for it to just completely change eveything about you, as one person has recently informed me it did to them.

Again, it depends on your situation. In my local at Valpo, I was part of a block class, where we didn't rush, but just joined and rebuilt the organization from scratch. I learned to like (or at least tolerate) people who were very different from myself (I wasn't a party girl-- didn't smoke, rarely drank, didn't have casual sex), and it allowed me to loosen up a bit, while making me better at negotiating, understanding, listening, explaining, and all of that Roberts Rules of Order spin-cycle stuff.

As an ADPi, and as an alumna who's starting to get back into it, I see myself as being able to mentor the collegians. And I love our creed! I want to actually memorize the darned thing someday. I love our alumna ritual, and I'd like to go back and witness the pledge and initiate rituals, because I think there's a lot of meaning there that, as an alumna initiate, I haven't had access to yet.

Originally posted by Sverige
At the very most it was a lot of fun and gave me unforgetable memories. It did both good and bad things for me. In my opinion though, it should be left at the University. What are some of your thoughts on this?

Again, it really depends on your school and your situation. Not every frat is Animal House, and not every sorority looks like it's out of MTV's Sorority Life (thank god on both counts!!!). If yours was more of a hook-up central, then yeah, that probably should be left at the gates. Otherwise, take a look at your principles, motto, ritual, pin, and creed. There may be good stuff there that you can still apply to your personal life, even if you don't wear your pin or share your fraternity experiences with others.

[AchtungBaby80]

Originally posted by Sverige
I was talking to a few friends the other day, who were all in different frats, and we all agreed it was an easy way to meet girls and get easy sex.

Sverige, dollbaby...that is why I tried to stay away from many fraternity men.

If I had read this post a year and a half ago, I would've agreed wholeheartedly because I was a little disillusioned with the whole Greek thing. Now, the people who made me feel that way are gone, and I see how good being in a sorority was for me. I don't think I would've left my dorm room at all if it weren't for my sorority sisters! I never participated in doing any "stupid shit" any more than I would have if I'd been independent. I think it just depends on the individual...and of course, I think men would have a more negative view than women because from what I've seen, fraternities are harder on their members, especially pledges (being a sorority pledge, everything was candy and roses!). I get the impression that my stepdad has the same view of his fraternity experience as you do, but me, I'll probably still be wearing my letters when I'm 80.

[LeslieAGD]

Originally posted by Sverige
I'm by no means downing the greek system, but rather was curious as to how some of you look back on your youthful days.

Geez, if this isn't downing, what is?

Greek Life, like everything else, is what you put into it and how much it means to you. If you don't think it was worth anything but "an easy way to meet girls and get easy sex," then you missed the point.

[KillarneyRose]

When I look back on my college days, my regrets are few. Stonewashed jeans, spiral perms, chandelier earrings from Express and maybe asking a SAE named "Lucky" to one of my formals. But being greek? Never!!!

And if you don't feel that you can get anything out of your affiliation after you graduate from college, well, all I can say is you joined for all the wrong reasons.

[phikappapsiman]

Originally posted by KillarneyRose

And if you don't feel that you can get anything out of your affiliation after you graduate from college, well, all I can say is you joined for all the wrong reasons.

Well Said!!!

What I will always carry with me from my college fraternity days is the self confidence that I gained having been involved in an organization that encouraged me to be myself and to take chances. I think about the leadership positions that I held, both within the fraternity and in the IFC, and the fact that it helped me not to be shy, but to be outgoing. When I was at a rush party as a freshman, man I was SUCH a wallflower-mainly because I had this perception of fraternity men like the Omegas in "Animal House", or the Alpha Beta's in "Revenge of the Nerds", and I didn't think that I was nearly that cool. But I guess that my brothers saw something in me-a true desire to be part of the brotherhood of Phi Kappa Psi, and from the moment that I received my bid, I was different. It may sound corny, but now that I am in the working world, I have the confidence that I can fit into any social situation, and I am not intimidated by others, no matter what the occasion. So, yes there were some moments that were not the most mature (road trips, certain parties, discussion of potential brothers), but overall, I know that my collegiate experience would not have been nearly as rewarding if I had not joined.

[classysassy]

I understand your feelings a little. I am a part of an org. where my chapter was closed during my second year. After its close it made me think about whether or not I received a quality experience, or whether it was all just an illusion. On the other hand I am proud to tell people that I am greek, and I know I will miss my sorority days when I am older.

[Glitter650]

Being almost done, (enrolled only part time this fall with 6 units) with school at this point and looking back at my college career, I can * Kinda * see where you're coming from. I mean really, what is the whole point of the greek system? . I mean practically all other countries' higher education institutions get along fine with out them.. why do they flourish here and what do they provide us REALLY ??
WELL it totally depends on you. I think that you get something from your org... whether it be the short term "easy hook ups" and opportunities to party, or long term leadership oppontunities/training and lifelong friendships is up to you.
There is this saying that I'm sure many of us have heard time and time again that I know a lot of us like to throw around in rush "you get out of it what you put into it" IT IS THE MOST TRUE STATEMENT IN THE WORLD !! If you put in the time and effort and take on a leadership position as a collegian and take the core values to heart and live them in your life.. I think that being in a GLO can totally change you... (low self esteem or not) or at least help you through your hard times and give you some direction in your life.
It doesn't matter if anyone cares once you're in the non-college arena... sure they may not give a rats ass that you were pres. of your frat or got a bid from the most prestigious house on campus.. or have even HEARD of your org... but bet your bottom dollar your boss cares if you know how to delegate responsibility and get your S#*! done on time.

[navane]

Originally posted by Sverige


The greek system I was apart of was big, unlike many of the small greek systems in the US.

Hi Sverige,

This particular sentence caught my eye and I wanted to know if you could clarify something for me. Is the fraternity system you were a part of located at a university in the United States, or was it somewhere else, like Europe? I noticed that you are located in Sweden and that only adds to my curiosity.

I ask because there is a big difference between the US and Europe. Though I'm currently living in the UK, I'm an American from Southern California. While at university in the Los Angeles area, I had some neighbours upstairs who were exchange students from Germany. One of them had been in a fraternity in Stuggart. He even showed me pictures of these guys having crazy parties and participating in silly boat races and the like. I got the idea that thier concept of a "fraternity" was very different from ours.

I'm not saying it's wrong, just different. So, I want to make sure that you are not trying to compare two different concepts.

.....Kelly

[MoxieGrrl]

I loved being Greek, having that sisterhood, and being a part of a small college's Greek community. Looking back now, I wouldn't trade the experiences for anything. I just think it's a shame that it cost so much to have the experiences. Also, my chapter closed the minute I graduated, so all of those National dues I paid are now going to help other chapters. That's really comforting when I have no place to go during homecoming, and I have a nice credit card bill every month.

[zchi2]

Originally posted by navane
Hi Sverige,

This particular sentence caught my eye and I wanted to know if you could clarify something for me. Is the fraternity system you were a part of located at a university in the United States, or was it somewhere else, like Europe? I noticed that you are located in Sweden and that only adds to my curiosity.

I ask because there is a big difference between the US and Europe. Though I'm currently living in the UK, I'm an American from Southern California. While at university in the Los Angeles area, I had some neighbours upstairs who were exchange students from Germany. One of them had been in a fraternity in Stuggart. He even showed me pictures of these guys having crazy parties and participating in silly boat races and the like. I got the idea that thier concept of a "fraternity" was very different from ours.

I'm not saying it's wrong, just different. So, I want to make sure that you are not trying to compare two different concepts.

.....Kelly

I was wondering the same thing. It would be hard for a greek in the Midwest to compare their greek experience with someone in the south so how would someone in another country be able to compare their Greek life to the US?

I'm really sorry that you only joined your greek organization to hook up with girls. Since that was the case, I wouldn't find it hard to understand why your greek experience was unfulfilling. I know a lot of people who chose to join a greek organization their junior year and they definitely did a lot more stupid stuff before they joined a sorority. On my former campus, people know that all eyes are on them and are waiting for them to make a mistake. It causes a lot of people to watch what they say and do more than they did when they were not in a greek organization because they don't want to represent their organization in a bad manner.

[33girl]

I don't think he is talking about an American fraternity. Therefore trying to compare what he was in with our concept of it is pretty much pointless.

[astroAPhi]

You don't need to join a fraternity to get hookups. So I can see how you would be unfulfilled if that was what you joined for.

I knew I was going to rush before I even went to college. Not to have dates, hookups, popularity, etc. but because I was friends with a Greek woman who I looked up to and she told me what Greek Life was SUPPOSED to be like.

I don't think a GLO is anything you should worship, but it implies that you want something more of your womanhood/manhood. It means that you want to be an upstanding member of society and you are willing to take others under your wing to help them become that after you know what it means.

I can safely say that I wouldn't have all the leadership opportunities that I've had if I hadn't joined Alpha Phi. I've been Athletics, which has taught me how to motivate and keep together a team. I've been Historian, which has helped me learn how to get projects done on my own and use my creativity to make a final project. I've been Chaplain, which has taught me to be the serious one who tries to inspire others through thought and sprituality. Nowhere else have I been able to have such a wide variety of positions. Yet, I expect I will have to use all of these skills in the real world. In other supposed "leadership organizations", all I learned is that people are greedy, power hungry, and you can't get anything done most of the time because people are like that. Yes, it's an important lesson to learn, but I sure as hell didn't learn any positive leadership abilities.

I got something out of my Greek experience. Yeah, some people who join "don't get it", and there are groups that sit around and drink and party all the time and stumble through their ritual or don't even do it. I won't lie, it happens. But if they don't get anything out of it, then I sure don't feel too bad when they claim that being Greek was no big deal.

[aabby757]

I'm a million years old and went to a school with a thriving greek system (at least when I was there) and while we're not considered a "southern school" my school is in deed south of the Mason Dixon line.

Here are my thoughts about being greek.

I originially joined because I had a boyfriend who was much much older than me and I hated my high school and I realized that I had very few friends, much less female friends. Not to imply he was controlling me, he wasn't but I really wanted friends who would be my bridesmaids for our "wedding." And, I had seen images of pretty girls in their pearls and wanted to be that girl.

So, luckilly I had a pretty good rush experience and joined one of the "best" sororities with the "sophisticated" reputation and the drop dead gorgeous house. And then my boyfriend and me broke up and my college experience began.

I GUARANTEE you that if I hadn't joined a sorority, I WOULD NOT have graduated college. My sorority gave me a reason to stay in school. I LOVED college and 100% of that was because I was in a sorority and l lived in the house.

I had great friends in college, granted I am no longer friends with most of them, we just grew apart, and I did hook up. And I fully feel that the sorority helped facilitate that. HOWEVER, this is what I WANTED/NEEDED to do and I appreciate the sorority being the calatylst for it.

Also, I learned about so many different types of people. Even though we were all pretty much "sophisticated" we were still insecure and little girls. It was amazing beign with these women, some I loved liked biological sisters and some I down right hated but it was great. It was like camp. Having your toilets cleaned, food served for you, cute busboys, etc.

The only thing I find pretty "stupid" is the amount of time we spent stressing on who we were doing homecoming with. and then the moment homecoming was over, we stressed about who we were doing greek week with. Even though we were a top house it still was stressful. Rush in a sick twisted way was fun. It was a thousand degrees, the funny stories, the tears, taking five showers in one day, it was all great.


So, I have nothing but love for my college experience and know for a fact that if I hadn't been in a sorority, it would have been nothing and I would have dropped out.

And, I haven't joined an alumnae group but haven't ruled it out.

I have pride for my sorority and thank them immensely for being the main reason why I graduated college.

And, I think the original poster is correct somewhat that I don't walk the halls of my work saying "hi, I was a XYZ in college." It was hardly ever brought up since the day after i graduated from college.

If I were in the "south" I probably wouldn't bring it up either but who knows. I think it's a hoot that we have a bond and had some of the same experiences.

Sorry for the rant.

[Kevin]

I'd have to characterize my experience as a fairly rare one. I was privliged with being able to play an important role in the formation and founding of a chapter. I can say that without a doubt it helped me learn how to be a leader, how to effectively manage tasks and people and how to set and attain my short and long-term goals. In a fraternity I was presented with many situations, good and bad that I would have never encountered as an independant. While challenging at times, I wouldn't trade the experience for anything.

Now as an alumnus we're workinging to form an alumni chapter and later an alumni club. Working on building our own house and facilitating the growth of a strong undergrad chapter.

I know many that regretted their decisions. Probably even a few in my chapter. It's not something that's for everyone and I don't think there's anyone that would pretend that it is. Hang around this board for awhile and you'll see plenty of people who had (and are having) great Greek Life experiences.