Dirty Little Secrets

#1 05-29-2003, 03:51 PM

Reading some comments on the DZO board, and thousands of other posts and threads in other forums has made me want to bring this up....

One of the things we accept as truth is that our Rituals bring us together. They are to be the ultimate bonding force, the thing that keeps us together and seperates our friendships from those of GDIs.

But what if...
What if you don't like your ritual? What if it doesn't touch you or move you in any way, doesn't pull any strings in your heart?

This is the situation I find myself in. As an alumnae, I've been through my sorority's ritual countless times in my undergrad chapter, and even at National convention. At first I thought perhaps it was just the atmosphere in my chapter...I hoped when I went to convention I would be moved to tears like so many of the girls around me, but no... nothing.

This really bothers me. I've made a point of studying our ritual on my own time, to try to see what it is I am missing... but I just have no attachment to it. I feel like a bad sister... even though I love my sisters (locally and nationally) with all my heart... I feel as though I am missing something by not "getting into" ritual.

I know this is a hard thing to fess up to, but does anyone else feel this way? I'll add the usual disclaimer that I am not going to discuss what our rituals entail, and I hope no one else does either. I'm just looking for a little advice and perhaps some kindred souls.

33girl · #2 05-29-2003, 04:16 PM

Ginger,

As far as rituals "bonding" us together, I don't think it's so much how you feel that does that, but the fact that you all have the same knowledge of it. You meet a sister for the first time and you know that she knows that 10 minutes into initiation, you sing the Sublime Sisters Song or whatever. And no one who isn't a sister including family or friends knows that. It's kinda like how I can say Primanti's or Kauffmann's and I know all the current and/or ex Pittsburghers on here will know what I'm talking about even if we've never met.

I think you're being too hard on yourself - if you are a good sister, you ARE living the ritual. I'm sure there are people who can go into ritual, recite it backwards and forwards, cry their eyes out, and the next day stab a sister in the back. And I'm sure there are people who are stone-faced through the whole thing who bust their butts for their group.

KillarneyRose · #3 05-29-2003, 04:27 PM

I'd like to echo everything 33Girl said in her post (and of course I know all about Kaufmann's and Primanti's

)

I want to add that just because you don't get all choked up and teary eyed, it doesn't mean your Ritual is not special to you. People react differently to things. When it was time for my oldest daughter to start nursery school, some of the mothers were crying when they dropped off their kiddies. I wasn't crying at all; I was actually happy for her. I don't love her any less than the crying moms did, I'm just not a crier.

Does that make sense? I'm afraid I'm not conveying what's in my head to my keyboard, but I hope you're able to get the gist of it

PM_Mama00 · #4 05-29-2003, 05:37 PM

I made a comment on the DZO thread about how my initiation wasn't very special. It was, it's just that as a Phi I didn't realize how special the ritual was. Now that I know, I remember pretty much everything.

ajuhdg · #5 05-29-2003, 05:47 PM

I know what you mean, PM_Mama. It was such an overwhelming time for me, that I wasn't truly able to appreciate it until the second time around being on the other side! It seemed to go so fast, and my heart was racing! I don't cry during the traditional rituals, rather I have this silly stupid grin that won't go away! LOL!

However, PREF always makes me cry!

aj

OUlioness01 · #6 05-29-2003, 06:01 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by PM_Mama00
I made a comment on the DZO thread about how my initiation wasn't very special. It was, it's just that as a Phi I didn't realize how special the ritual was. Now that I know, I remember pretty much everything.

i know what you mean. i didn't truly realize how special ritual is (both to me and in general) until i watched my little go through.

#7 05-29-2003, 06:04 PM

I think its wonderful that so many of you realized after time how special it was to you. But my point/question was more of... what if you never reach that point? What if initiation/ritual never crosses that line for you?

KillarneyRose · #8 05-29-2003, 06:46 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Ginger
But my point/question was more of... what if you never reach that point? What if initiation/ritual never crosses that line for you?

You've already answered your own question, Ginger. You said when you started this thread that, " I love my sisters (locally and nationally) with all my heart."

That is the true basis of sisterhood. Not shedding tears during a Ritual. The Ritual represents the tie that binds you together as sisters, but it is the love and devotion you feel toward your sisters and they, in turn feel for you that is what being in a sorority is all about.

bethany1982 · #9 05-29-2003, 06:56 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by KillarneyRose
You've already answered your own question, Ginger. You said when you started this thread that, " I love my sisters (locally and nationally) with all my heart."

That is the true basis of sisterhood. Not shedding tears during a Ritual. The Ritual represents the tie that binds you together as sisters, but it is the love and devotion you feel toward your sisters and they, in turn feel for you that is what being in a sorority is all about.

Listen to KillarneyRose, she is soooo right! You love your sisters, that's what really matters.