For The Girls...

bgsugirlie · #1 05-11-2003, 04:15 PM

Ok, here's my question for the girls...

Have you ever asked a guy out first? I never have...I've always waited for them to do it (I know it's kind of old fashioned, but it always worked in the past). Anyways, there is this guy I like...he's actually a grad student, and he was one of my TA's and he taught this criminal justice class I took. Well, the semester is over, I've still been thinking about him, and I want to ask him out...if it was a guy friend, I think it would be easier. The thing with my grad student is that I don't even know if he has a gf or if he'd be interested...I just want to see what happens.

How should I do it...what if he says no...Help!!!!

AXJules · #2 05-11-2003, 04:47 PM

First of all, do you usually run into him? Do you have his cell # or something? Are you both going to be staying in town over the summer?? You sound exactly like one of my sisters, LOL, and this is what I told her.

Since I don't know any of the above, run into him at that place he always goes for coffee or whatever. Make small talk, just ask him what he's up to for the summer, then say "We should hang out this summer. Have you been to XYZ bar/restaurant/whatever?? It's supposed to be really good." Then based on his reaction, either get his # or maybe he'll ask for yours. This way if he says he's busy or some stupid excuse

it's not like you told hiim you liked him, you were just being friendly.

bethany1982 · #3 05-11-2003, 04:59 PM

I think AXJULES gave some great advice. I may be a little more direct in my approach, but that's just me. If you are worried about rejection, don't ask him out in a direct yes/no manner.

Rio_Kohitsuji · #4 05-11-2003, 08:27 PM

To answer your first question, hell yeah

Guys love it when you initiate it, that's for sure, heck, I got my boyfriend that way

(2 years in september)

Secondly, just ask him out to eat or something simple like that. Food always gets them. *nods* When you're there, that's when you can cake on the crushin'. If he says no (which I doubt he'll do) then at least you asked. At least you'll know you tried

Plus if it doesn't work out for you immediately, he may go after you later, possibly next semester.

Good luck!!!

bgsugirlie · #5 05-11-2003, 08:32 PM

AXJules...thanks! I love the idea.

Some background info:
I know he's in the area over summer, and so am I...

I've never run into him anywhere...I really don't know where he hangs out, but it can't be the same places that I do...so this may take a little detective work. And unfortunately, I have no idea what his cell number is. I'm hoping that he is still going to be doing grad student stuff over the summer so I can "conveniently" run into him on campus since I'll probably have a campus job this summer too. The bad thing is I hardly know anything about him...he was my teacher so it's not like I could do hardcore flirting in class....I just know he's cute, kinda shy in an adorable way, and he has the sexiest blue eyes ever!

Any more advice? I think I'm going to try to see him on campus this week and see what happens. Wish me luck!

AchtungBaby80 · #6 05-15-2003, 12:05 PM

I've never asked a guy out first (never had to!

), so I don't think I'm really qualified to give you any advice other than that I've heard (and as others on here have said) some guys seem to like it. Just sort of suggest that you'd like to meet up with him sometime, and see what he says.

texas*princess · #7 05-15-2003, 12:12 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by TKE209Sweethrt
To answer your first question, hell yeah Guys love it when you initiate it, that's for sure, heck, I got my boyfriend that way (2 years in september)

Me too!! When we were in high school, my current guy was VERY shy.. all his friends told me they thought he liked me, and I liked him too, so we were talking about movies one time and I said something casual like "Wow, that movie is coming to the theaters this Friday? We should go watch it!!!" hehehe.. I'm sneaky!

We've been dating ever since!!!! Almost 3 years now!

I definately agree with everyone who has said to go for it, and try it in a casual way!

<sounding like an infomercial>
"It worked for me! It can work for you too!!!
</sounding like an infomercial>

AZpinkkittie · #8 05-15-2003, 12:14 PM

Very good advice. You should just make it casual, friendly, that way if he's not interested, you don't have to seem all crushed.

Like asking him to get coffee or something and he's says,"Uhhh, no. I gotta meet my girlfriend for lunch", then you can be all "Cool, see ya around." It's not like your getting a reject for prom, so he won't feel bad and you don't have to show you feel bad.

bgsugirlie · #9 05-15-2003, 07:30 PM

Newest Update...

I haven't seen him since school let out, but super good news. My friends called me from the bar last night because he was out...so now I finally know where he hangs out and I can start laying the ground work. Wish me luck : )