When you become an adult

[FuzzieAlum]

http://www.msnbc.com/news/911377.asp

According to those surveyed, the average age someone should marry was 25.7, and the age for having children was 26.2. Most respondents considered parenthood the final milestone needed to reach true adulthood.

So a 90-year-old without kids isn't a real adult yet?

But what really cracks me up ... do the math. .5 years is not nine months!

*edited for spelling

[valkyrie]

I think those numbers are a bit wacky. Most people I know got married well after age 25, and have kids well after 26.

To me, 26 is too young. I'm older than that and I don't feel ready for kids. Hmmm, I guess I'm not a grownup, huh? That's fine with me!!

I was really suprised by this:

In terms of ranking each categories importance, the report found that completing an education was most valued with 73 percent of those surveyed calling it an “extremely important” step in achieving adulthood.

The remainder of the transitions followed: being employed full-time, 61 percent; supporting a family, 60 percent; being financial independent, 47 percent; living independently of parents, 29 percent; being married, 19 percent; and having a child, 16 percent.

Maybe it's because I'm a college "drop-out" (I really hate that phrase)... but to me being employed full time is a much more significant thing than finishing college. I know a lot of college graduates who are just sort of laying about waiting to find work, and to be honest, I really don't consider them adults.

I also would think living independently from your parents would rank a lot higher, but I guess that's just me

Originally posted by valkyrie
I think those numbers are a bit wacky. Most people I know got married well after age 25, and have kids well after 26.

To me, 26 is too young. I'm older than that and I don't feel ready for kids. Hmmm, I guess I'm not a grownup, huh? That's fine with me!!

I think a lot of that is cultural/regional. I'm just the opposite... I know very few 25 year olds that aren't married... I'm a bit of an anomaly being single (well, almost engaged) at 23!

[33girl]

I think they surveyed lots of non-college educated people from small towns if 26 was the average age to have kids. Not to mention saying at 21 you should be able to support yourself and out of your parents' house...and then saying out of school at 22! WTF???!?

[valkyrie]

Ginger, I agree with you. A college education doesn't equal adulthood. When I graduated from college, I got evicted from my apartment because I was broke and had to go live with mommy and daddy for a while. Somebody who didn't even go to college at all but was self supporting would be far more of an adult than I was.

[valkyrie]

Originally posted by Ginger
I think a lot of that is cultural/regional. I'm just the opposite... I know very few 25 year olds that aren't married... I'm a bit of an anomaly being single (well, almost engaged) at 23!

That's true. I guess it all depends on where you live.

What's funny (if funny is the right word) -- there's a group of 3 friends I have, and we have all known each other since high school or before. We have all been married, and only one of the four of us is still married to her first husband. One is divorced, one just got remarried, and one is getting divorced. That's probably a cultural/regional thing as well -- I've heard it referred to as "starter marriages" and it's getting more and more common. Now, keep in mind that none of us got married with the intention of it *not* being forever. I guess stuff just happens sometimes.

[sororitygirl2]

Those numbers are encouraging to me though, because I am not 25 yet and I sometimes feel like a few of the people I know think I am strange for not being engaged or married yet. I just want to have fun and enjoy being young... I don't want to look back and think I missed out on my youth and resent my husband and kids later.

[FuzzieAlum]

"Self-supporting," I'd have to agree that is the most important thing (or at least capable of it - I'd hate to think I'm stopping being a grown-up b/c I'm going back to grad school).

Kids? What if you're 16 and living with the 'rents?
School? What you go home every weekend with your laundry?
Married? I know girls who married young and the new husband just took daddy's place.

If you can live on your own, on your own income (no subsidies from the parents!), you're an adult. Course that doesn't necessarily make you mature.

Speaking of average age for kids, I'm 26, and very few of my friends have kids. Only a very few of my friends are even married.

[Peaches-n-Cream]

I guess that I amnot yet an adult since I am neither married nor a mother.


I have a friend who never went to college, never married, and had a baby at 19. She supports herself and has for years. Where is she on that scale?

[XOMichelle]

My High School math teacher told me that you aren't truly and adult untill your parents die. I think it is sad, but true.
-M

[Munchkin03]

Where did they find these people?

There are, sadly enough, a lot of people who believe that without a college education today, you can't support yourself--let alone a family. I graduate this month, and some of the guys I know are spoiled brats who couldn't take care of themselves; meanwhile I have friends who didn't go to school and are doing quite well.

Like everyone said, self-support is the most important thing--whether it's at 16 or 30.

[bethany1982]

I may become an adult... someday...

[aephi alum]

Guess I'm not an adult since I don't have kids. Never mind that I'm a college grad, have an advanced degree, have been in the work force for 5 years, have been married for 4 years, own a house and two cars...

I feel the key criterion is being either self-supporting, or prepared to be self-supporting (e.g. you're unemployed so you temporarily have to move back in with your parents, or you take some time off to have a baby but could jump back into the work force if necessary).

You don't need to be a college grad to get to that point, but it gets a lot easier if you are