Things wrong with women according to the VSU school paper

[The1calledTKE]

Jody Walker (Author)

In 1517, Martin Luther nailed to the door of the Wittenberg Church his 95 theses in protest of papal indulgences, thus giving birth to the Protestant Revolution. I now present my 55 theses on what is wrong with women, in hopes of creating a similar revolution.

General
1. Women lack reasoning skills.
2. Women are selfish.
3. Women are stupid.
4. Toilet seats have hinges for a reason.
5. Diet Coke + Three Big Macs = Diet.
6. If you weigh 90 pounds, there is no way you are fat.
7. Rain will not melt you unless you are a witch.
8. Something cannot make you look fat.
9. If you don't want to hear the answer, don't ask the question.
10. Don't take jokes personal.
11. Looks don't matter if you're smoking.
12. Chewbacca. If you don't understand, you probably never will.
13. You can't be a Jesus freak and a freak at the same time.

Fashion
14. There is weight limit for tank tops and short shorts.
15. You don't need 30 pairs of shoes.
16. Blonde is not a dominant genetic hair color.
17. Hip belts are not hip.
18. Blue eyeliner is ungodly.
19. Black lipstick is ungodly.
20. I don't like clowns/too much makeup.
21. Every strand of hair doesn't have to be perfect.
22. Going to the gym twice a week will not make you skinny.
23. Body glitter is not attractive.


Driving
24. Green means go.
25. Red means stop.
26. You can't change lanes when I am in the one next to you.
27. Applying makeup and driving don't go together.
28. Talking on cell phones (see above)
29. You can't seduce cops to get out of a ticket.
30. The speed limit is not a suggestion.
31. Four inches from the curb when parking, not four feet.
32. Stay between the lines when parking.
33. Use turn signals.
34. It doesn't take two hours to find a parking spot.

Class
35. Class is not a time to socialize with friends.
36. Phone calls (see above)
37. Makeup (see #1)
38. You can't be fashionably late to class.
39. Pajama pants are for sleeping.
40. Don't argue-your opinion is probably wrong.
41. Why don't you actually listen to the professor for a change?
42. You can't seduce the professor to improve your grade.
43. Just because I sit next to you doesn't mean I am interested in your life.

Relationships
44. You date jerks, you end up with jerks.
45. You date losers, you end up with losers.
46. Indecisiveness must be genetic.
47. If you lie to me, I will lie back.
48. 10 minutes does not mean an hour.
49. Gentlemen don't exist. They stare at your breasts, too.
50. Just because a guy smiles at you doesn't mean he is a stalker.
51. Trying to or sleeping with my friends is wrong.
52. Trying to or sleeping with everyone in Valdosta is wrong.
53. Everybody doesn't love you when you are drunk.
54. Guys don't have to pay for everything.
55. Guys don't have to make all the decisions.

[bethany1982]

Such wisdom... lol!

[swissmiss04]

Poor guy...maybe he should jack off more to release his frustration.

[lovelyivy84]

lol

anything to find a reason why women won't have sex with him

[Peaches-n-Cream]

I thought that the author was a woman. Isn't Jody a female name?

So, i guess at VSU, when the story ideas run dry, they fall back on stereotypes

i'm dissppointed though, he left out the whole, "girls suck at math thing"

Anyone else feel this guy just watched a day of Real World and SL reruns to give him motivation?

Oh, and lastly, about the gentleman thing. Yes there are gentlemen, they do exist. You ladies must do us a favor though. When you show up on a date with your pushup bra workin, plunging v-neck shirt on, and a low hanging necklace, excuse us if we are momentarily distracted. I mean, correct me if i'm wrong, the reason you wear things like that is to draw attention to certain, uh, 'assets'. That being said, i normally feel bad about taking a quick glance, but guys who act like there's nothing attached to your neck, THOSE you can bitch about

I may lose my train of thought for a second, but that's usually when i go back to looking a girl in the eyes and bumble out a, "i'm sorry, i didn't hear what you said, i was lost in your eyes"

Kitso
KS 361 times i think, damn, don't wear a shirt that is open to your tummy if you don't want me to look

[XOMichelle]

Wow, the person who wrote this is bitter.....

Sorry, but I hate sterotypes about women. More than half those things could be said about men too.
-M

[XOMichelle]

Originally posted by AggieSigmaNu361
So, i guess at VSU, when the story ideas run dry, they fall back on stereotypes

i'm dissppointed though, he left out the whole, "girls suck at math thing"

Anyone else feel this guy just watched a day of Real World and SL reruns to give him motivation?

Oh, and lastly, about the gentleman thing. Yes there are gentlemen, they do exist. You ladies must do us a favor though. When you show up on a date with your pushup bra workin, plunging v-neck shirt on, and a low hanging necklace, excuse us if we are momentarily distracted. I mean, correct me if i'm wrong, the reason you wear things like that is to draw attention to certain, uh, 'assets'. That being said, i normally feel bad about taking a quick glance, but guys who act like there's nothing attached to your neck, THOSE you can bitch about

I may lose my train of thought for a second, but that's usually when i go back to looking a girl in the eyes and bumble out a, "i'm sorry, i didn't hear what you said, i was lost in your eyes"

Kitso
KS 361 times i think, damn, don't wear a shirt that is open to your tummy if you don't want me to look

Aww... aren't you cute!

ps- my boyfriend just pledged Sigma Nu and LOVES it! Congrats, he is a great man to have in your fraternity.

[sherbertlemons]

Originally posted by Cream
I thought that the author was a woman. Isn't Jody a female name?

Spelled like that, it probably isn't. Most females spell it Jodie.

*rolls eyes* Somebody definitely sounds bitter about not having a date on a Saturday night...and writing articles like that, he probably never will.

"Don't argue-your opinion is probably wrong." And can I possibly say how much that pissed me off? Most of it I was able to laugh at, but that REALLY made me angry. Here's an opinion for you- Get a vasectomy. There are too many of your type around as it is. We don't need more.

[AlphaGamDiva]

Originally posted by sherbertlemons
Here's an opinion for you- Get a vasectomy. There are too many of your type around as it is. We don't need more.

hahaha!!!! no doubt! dude lost all credibility with me at #3 saying "women are stupid." uuuh, buddy.....a chick saying "no" to you proves she's not. and the whole not seducing cops out of tickets.....oh i BEG TO DIFFER!!!!

funny stuff, though......

[OUlioness01]

Originally posted by Cream
I thought that the author was a woman. Isn't Jody a female name?

one of my exes was named Jody. He was bitter, kinda like this guy.

Anyway, i've noticed that at my school a lot of those stereotypes fit towards guys too. I think he totally overlooked that part.

[Sadeyes21]

Women are stupid--- Wow what a good argument! I believe that wouldn't hold up in a debate.

[smiley21]

Jody Walker (Author)

In 1517, Martin Luther nailed to the door of the Wittenberg Church his 95 theses in protest of papal indulgences, thus giving birth to the Protestant Revolution. I now present my 55 theses on what is wrong with women, in hopes of creating a similar revolution.

General
1. Women lack reasoning skills.
2. Women are selfish.
3. Women are stupid.

*****i know for a fact that some men are stupid and cant reason to save their life.*******

Driving
24. Green means go.
25. Red means stop.
30. The speed limit is not a suggestion.
31. Four inches from the curb when parking, not four feet.
32. Stay between the lines when parking.
33. Use turn signals.
34. It doesn't take two hours to find a parking spot.

*******this section has men written all over it.
guys are always the ones racing their cars out on the public street screwing with traffic.
when i park, i get as close to the curb as possible so no one will swing open their doors hitting my car. i have guys cutting me off all the time. and some of them take up two spaces to protect their precious car.********

54. Guys don't have to pay for everything.
********there are some guys that dont pay for squat.*********

the guy who wrote this is just plain ignorrant.
that is what is wrong with guys....damn egos

[James]

LOL. . . hit a nerve ladies?


If the quotes don't fit . . don't get upset lol.

[XOMichelle]

James, people don't say things like that about men and actually believe them... that's the problem. It's a joke, and I know they don't apply to me, but the problem is people actually believe this s***! Whatev. They can kiss my arse when I am their boss...
-M