Am i going too fast?

alphaiota · #1 05-02-2003, 11:28 AM

okay, here's the scenario.
i started my new job and there's one guy who works here who i like. he's pretty cute and really sweet. we have been flirting a lot. it's been about 3weeks since i met him and we've been chatting/flirting every day. is it too fast to ask him out on a date? should i ask him out on a date? i sort of asked him casually to go get a drink yesterday after work. i told him i'd be at a particular bar at 7 if he wanted to stop by and have a drink. he didn't end up coming. i'm not crushed at all. i know his week is extremely busy. he has already worked some 70hrs this week alone and it's just now friday. also, should i have even asked him to meet me for a drink? i seriously need some sisterly help!

shelley j
sigma k

shopgirl · #2 05-02-2003, 02:05 PM

I am far from an expert on this matter, but I'll give you my humble opinion.

I think it was just fine that you invited him for a drink. It shows him that you like him, at least as a friend to hang out with...and who wouldn't like that?

Since you have made the first gesture by inviting him out, and since he didn't show, I would say lay low for a little while. Continue to talk to him and flirt with him as you have been so that he knows you like him and that you aren't upset that he didn't show, but don't ask him out again...for anything. The ball is now in his court. So give him a little while to play with it. If he doesn't throw it back within several weeks, then you can try again.

alphaiota · #3 05-03-2003, 12:33 PM

thanks for the advice. but things seem to have taken a whole other turn. yesterday i found out that i was being moved to another office about 20miles away. so i got up some courage and gave him my number and told him to call me and he said he would. well, after i did that we were still standing around flirting for a while before i finally left. i walked outside, got in my car and then sat there for a minute and thought what the heck. went back inside. he started laughing when he saw me. i told him that if he'd go out with me that night, i wouldn't go down to oxford for the night. (i was going down to party with some sisters before their graduation) well, he said yes. so we went out last night to a local bar, had a couple of drinks and then went back to his place to watch a movie. i didn't end up getting home til 4am. we talked and talked and talked some more. he said that if i hadn't given him my number, he would have chased after me when i left and gotten it.

i'm very excited if you can't tell. and yes we are definately going out again. probably this week.

shelley j
sigma k

shopgirl · #4 05-03-2003, 01:56 PM

I am so happy for you!

DigitalAngel126 · #5 05-04-2003, 05:19 AM

Shelly!!!!!!! How exciting!!! I'm so happy for you!!!!

P.S. I never talk to you any more!!!!!! Why aren't you ever on AIM?

alphaiota · #6 05-04-2003, 07:26 PM

i know. it's awful. i'm trying to avoid a certain guy who always wants to talk. anymore though i've been just beaucoup busy with work that i've barely checked email. hopefully things will ease up a bit so i can chat more.

shelley j
sigma k

alphaiota · #7 05-16-2003, 12:05 PM

okay, so now i've been dating him for awhile and i'm totally fallen for him. it's bad. for example, he's visiting friends this weekend and won't be around at all. i don't get to see him for about 4 days. i'm totally pouting about this and don't care about doing anything else. what's my problem. i know he's in to me a lot, but i'm just not sure how much a lot is.
he does everything for me. opens doors, pays for everything, even opens my car door for me (and closes it) he's completely wonderful and he is comfortable enough with me to act like a complete goober when he's with me. (we both act like goobers though) my mom says i glow when i talk about him. what am i doing? am i really falling too fast for him?

shelley j
sigma k

Aquastar · #8 05-16-2003, 05:00 PM

SHELLY!!
If you are still making sure you have a life outside of him and arent losing your idenity to being with him ... Who cares if you fall for him!
He sounds sweet and thats probably why you like him

Im gald hes making you happy! Thats hella cool. :shrugs: Just my oppinion, sounds like your just happy to have a mate

PEACE

alphaiota · #9 05-17-2003, 06:31 PM

i'm definately keeping my own life in tact minus him, but right now i'm making a lot of changes in friends and my general social setting. not based on him or anything, just based on the fact that i'm getting older and growing up. we both cherish our individual alone time. and we both have our separate groups of friends as well as our mutual friends, so i think it will be okay.
again, i hate the fact that i'm swooning over a guy like this. it's so not me to do this, but he's just so different. so perfect for me.

shelley j
sigma k

DigitalAngel126 · #10 06-02-2003, 08:34 AM

Updates please? What's the deal?? Are y'all

or

???

alphaiota · #11 06-02-2003, 12:24 PM

we're great. we just attended a wedding this weekend for some coworkers. he told me i was 'hot' and absolutely beautiful. he gained major brownie points for that.

i think we are just at a point that we are getting to know each other's quirks and seeing of we can deal with them. like with him, he has a tendancy to be slightly late by like 10min. i'm the type of person to be 10min early. little things like that.

we really do like each other a lot and i can totally see us together forever. he even asked me where i was looking for jobs cuz he was considering a job in the cleveland area. he was being so smooth about how he was asking, as not to make it seem like he was basing his search on me. (but i've sort of based my search on him to a degree) he asked me if i had any desire to live in that area. i said yes of course.

okay, well, hope that's update enough for you. keep reminding me about it and i'll keep updating. i'm a bit absent minded so need help remembering this sort of thing.

SLAM,
shelley j
sigma k

alphaiota · #12 06-02-2003, 12:27 PM

oh yeah, one more thing. i got to meet his ex-gf/ bestfriend last week. she is awesome. he surprised me by taking me down to see her and her fiance. he always goes down to visit on wed. night and this week he decided to take me. he has vowed to never allow us to be in the same room together again. we gang up on him pretty bad. it's great.
okay, that's really it for now.

shelley j
sigma k

alphaiota · #13 06-05-2003, 08:06 PM

so we finally had our first "fight" today. it was basically just a slightly heated discussion b/c i'm in psycho mode right now. (i am in the process of going back on anti-depression meds)
he was really sweet about it though. he explained a lot to me that i really didn't understand. and when i don't understand something it bugs me. thus fueling my moodyness.

so we talked a lot out and things are better. one thing i really like about him is that he won't beat around the bush about something. if he doesn't like something or feels something isn't right, he'll say so. and i love that. i'm not one to beat around the bush myself.

okay, enough updating for now.

shelley j
sigma k

Aquastar · #14 06-05-2003, 08:12 PM

YAY! Happy couples

alphaiota · #15 06-05-2003, 09:01 PM

yeah