Summer shoe pledge

[midwesterngirl]

Okay ladies,it is that time of year:




Please raise your big toes and repeat after me: The Summer Shoe
Pledge,
As a member of the Cute Girl Sisterhood, I pledge to follow the Rules
when I wear sandals and other open-toe shoes:

I promise to always wear sandals that fit. My toes will not hang over
and touch the ground, nor will my heels spill over the backs. And the
sides and tops of my feet will not pudge out between the straps.

I will go polish-free or vow to keep the polish fresh, intact and
chip-free. I will not cheat and just touch up my big toe. I will sand
down (or borrow $20 for pedicure) any mounds of skin before they turn
hard and yellow.

I will sacrifice my lunch money once to week to pay for a pedicure at
least once a month. I will shave the hairs off my big toe. I will not
get acrylic on the big toe with a $1 pack of rhinestones attached.


I won't wear pantyhose (and risk losing my job) even if my misinformed
girlfriend, coworker, mother, sister tells me the toe seam really will
stay under my toes if I tuck it there.

If a strap breaks, I won't duct-tape, pin, glue or tuck it back into
place hoping it will stay put. I will get my shoe fixed or toss it.

I will not live in corn denial; rather I will lean on my good friend
Dr. Scholl's if my feet need him.

I will take my toe ring off toward the end of the day if my toes swell
and begin to look like Vienna sausages.

If I have been privy to the magic that is Foot Soup, I will share that
knowledge and experience with the non-initiated. I will be brutally
honest with my girlfriend/sister/coworker when she asks me if her feet
are too ugly to wear sandals. Someone has to tell her that her toes are
as long as my fingers and no sandal makes creepy feet look good.

*The end*