Hazing

[ilovemyglo]

Okay, I have a really serious question. I know a member of another chapter of AGD and she admitted to me that they Haze at their school. She told me that only some sisters haze and the ones that are hazed are the only ones allowed to haze later on. A few of the things she told me they have done in the past are:
Taking new members out and leaving them stranded in the middle of no where without a cell phone or any way to contact anyone
Making new members do things for fraternities (like cleaning their house or washing their cars in bathing suits)
Making new members say things and do things to "show respect" to actives (like bowing their heads when referring to their sister mothers or asking permission to go to the bathroom).

I couldn't believe what she was telling me!! I mean this was someone that I had been in contact with about receiving some info and she admitted all this to me as though it was nothing. She said that this wasn't for every new member, and that other chapters on her campus hazed REALLY bad (like circling the fat on girls or making them wear nothing or just a slip to certain ceremonies and making them drink because she said they never involve alcohol). Anyways, what should I do? I told her that I would hate to lose their chapter over something as stupid as making a new member ask to go to the bathroom and that her chapter shouldn't do these things because they risk that every time.

That is issue number 1.
Issue number 2. We had a member decide to turn in her badge (her friends from home hated that she was in a sorority and she said that she didn't have time for it anymore). When we did what internationals told us we have to do (let them know when EC is discussing this and give her an opportunity to speak) she called our Greek Advisor and told him we were hazing her. That is a very serious accusation. Nothing was done or said but really I am afraid that she is telling other people this. So how do we prevent this in the future? Have any of you delt with this before? When members leave how to you ensure a healthy relationship with them, and if it isn't possible what do your members do about the situation?
Thanks for listening to my ramblings. I really wondered what you all would do!
Love and Loyalty,
Sarah

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If your going to go greek, why not be a goddess?

[Katey Alpha Gam]

OK I don't know very much about the second subject that you brought up, but as for the first I am really upset by that. That is so wrong that they do that!! Now, I am the very first to admit that I truly feel that the hazing laws are sometimes a bit excessive (e.g. scavenger hunts, big/little match-ups and and other simply fun and in no way possibly harmful things being illegal in terms of hazing) but this is way bigger than that. These things are demeaning and harmful and I am sad that our sisters still pull this crap!!! What I think you should do is talk to this girl and explain to her how not ok this is and how harmful to AGD this is. If that doesn't work, you can get in tought withthe advisor and tell her to put her chapter in check quickly or you will get in touch with intl. That's what I would do.

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Katey, ZA chapter of AGD
"Could I have been anyone other than me?"-Dave Matthews

[This message has been edited by Katey Alpha Gam (edited June 06, 2001).]

Hmm, at first it was difficult to even assess the situation because thankfully, my chapter hasn't had a serious issue with hazing in our 9 1/2 year existance.

For the first issue... I must say that I'm very disappointed to hear that we have sisters/chapters out there hazing. Hazing can be so dangerous... because it is inevitable that at some point someone is going to get carried away... and someone will get hurt (or worse yet killed.)

IHQ does not take any form of hazing lightly!!! Delta Sigma in the early years received tsk tsk letters when they did activities that they didn't realize may be viewed as hazing... like the time they had a mini scavenger hunt around campus... or the time they had blind-folded new members follow a piece of yarn around the Art Building that would lead them to their sister-mothers. The events were planned innocently and in such a way that they thought it would be fun and exciting... they certainly didn't find any danger or undue stress in what they had planned... but once IHQ got the reports describing what they did.... YIKES! Letters from every department all over the country scolded and warned them about the how yarn, blindfolds, and scavenger hunts were ALL big hazing don'ts! They learned their lesson... and they weren't even trying to haze! Even if scavenger hunts don't seem harmful at all, it is still a violation of IHQ policy, and it's necessary to follow what IHQ says.

It's really up to you as to what you should do with what you knows about this other chapter. Some things I might suggest...

Hazing can be very dangerous, and, should anything go seriously wrong during one of these hazing sessions, the incident would not only have a negative impact on that chapter, but our whole Fraternity..... and the Greek community. As Greeks, we have a hard enough time keeping membership up thanks to all of the stereotyping and other damage done by movies and television. A genuine incident we do not need. What would I do with the information? I'd go to IHQ. IHQ would conduct their investigation and decide on appropriate action. This could snap them out of it... or not. While this may mean the loss of a chapter (which I'd hate to see), one chapter lost is much better than the loss of the Fraternity. The sisters who are hazing are not living up to the ideals set before us in our Purpose or our Constitution. If they are hazing... they are not Alpha Gamma Delta.

As for the ex-member making the accusations against your chapter... It sounds like this former member's actions are probably a reflection of whatever her friends back home had to say. A group of sisters (perhaps some that were once close to her... like her sister-mother... or some pledge classmates) may want to approach and speak with her about her decision to terminate her membership. If she hasn't already officially left... they may be successful in changing her mind. Otherwise, they may be able to convey to her how sorry they are to see her go... remind her how important she was to the chapter... wish her well... Could smooth some things over. It's hard to understand why people do what they do. As long as the chapter isn't hazing... I wouldn't worry too much about what she's saying to anyone... because it simply isn't true.

Feel free to email me privately if you wish!

[ilovemyglo]

Okay, thanks so much for the advice. The thing is, this chapter is a VERY WELL KNOWN chapter. I have even heard it brought up on here a few times. The advisor knows some things, but not everything. She is an older Alumna and I think she chooses to turn her head. Maybe she doesn't know, I am not sure. Anyway, I wrote an e mail to this girl and told her how I felt and that I hated being put in this situation. They are my sisters, though, and that makes it tougher. I asked her to think about how this could affect AGD's at other campuses if they were to know, and I understand other chapters do it, but I know that if I heard a chapter of XYZ would circle my fat when I joined I would not go there, and if I heard that AGD didn't haze at all I would want to go there more. She hasn't replied but I think I sent a message to her that what they are doing is wrong, even if it is continuing a tradition. My pledge class changed a lot of traditions (down to not drinking before dances if you are under 21). We have a stronger chapter now because of it and are so much happier. We even got a new chapter advisor!!!
Again, thanks so much! Loyally in EPi
Sarah

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"...and love her for her womanhood."