heartbroken

KappaTarzan · #1 03-12-2003, 03:21 PM

i feel so let down...

there is a girl who was going through the pledge process 2 years ago and we had to drop her. she wasn't completing her assignments and she was lying to us. the other pledges were covering for her and trying to fix things without letting us know.. needless to say, she wasn't very happy with us when we let her go...

flash forward to this semester. she starts hanging out with us again during informal rush, and decides she is definitely rushing. alot of my sisters have iffy feelings about her, but i am a huge believer in second chances, and i push for her. she interviews and things go well, and she does get a bid by the skin of her teeth. i am so happy, i really feel as though this girl has changed and deserves it. celebrate, celebrate yay for a week.

flash forward to today. she has to turn in her grades adn schedule to our educator, and she has lied again. she said her grades were a 3.6 and she has a 1.7. the classes she said she was taking, she's not. i just can't understand how she could do this to us.. how could she sit in front of all those girls she lied to and lie again, knowing we will find out. of course, we have to drop her because we can't let it get as far as it did with the lying last time.. it is just so sad and i feel so let down and heartbroken. i put my trust in this girl, an di put my neck on the line.. she let me down..

such a sad day today.

MereMere21 · #2 03-12-2003, 03:26 PM

awww that sucks I'm sorry

we had a girl like that who lied about her grades and such.....it was really depressing when we had to cut her because the girl that she portrayed was really cool. Oh well, just keep in mind that there is another girl for that slot that is deserving of it! chin up

AXJules · #3 03-12-2003, 03:50 PM

Awww sweetie that really sux, I totally understand how you feel. She sounds like she was actually a friend of yours too, which makes it even worse.
But the best thing I can say is to use this as a lesson: I'm a pretty trusting person and it makes me sick, but the truth is that there is always someone out there who is going to take advantage of you. No matter how many times they were caught lying before, they'll do it again to get ahead.
It was so nice of you to try to do her a favor, and I wouldn't say don't ever do someone a favor again, but keep your eyes open. Unfortunately you really can't believe what everyone promises.

APhiRattlerGal · #4 03-12-2003, 04:44 PM

I agree what everyone else has said and I would also like to add that you ladies should feel good about yourselves for giving this girl a second chance. It shows your compassion. She lied once, ya'll gave her a second change...she lied again. At least you can't say you didnt try. And might I add, you ladies deserve only the best of the best and obviously this girl isnt worthy of wearing your letters. So in short....its HER loss.

KappaTarzan · #5 03-12-2003, 11:58 PM

thanks girls.. you made me feel better.. i just hope that this girl learns from this experience and stops lying so much..

UF_PikePC98 · #6 03-13-2003, 02:43 AM

I don't see why some chapters are big on GPA's. When My chapter was active most of the guys I talked to about that had either shitty or average grades, few having average. The rest had just high enough of a GPA to stay in school.

KappaTarzan · #7 03-13-2003, 04:49 AM

well our national has a minimum gpa which we all must attain in order to pledge or be an active sister.. beyond that, though, she lied to us again.. how can we trust a girl who lies to us consistantly? it is just so sad that some people are compulsive liars like that..

UF_PikePC98 · #8 03-13-2003, 03:35 PM

Well, I can see how the mistrust has damaged her name with you ladies. On the other hand, have you thought to look at the reason for the lies? Maybe she feels like she has to lie to you ladies inorder for her to be accepted by you all. Some people are wierd like that. Maybe if someone were to talk to her and explain to her, " We'll like you for who you are, you don't have to try to impress the hell out of us." Believe me it works. Some people feel like they have to make themselves look better when they're the ones in the spotlight.

I know a guy like this. I had a feeling he might have been a dork in high school and maybe his first year in college. After being in Gainesville for a long time he ended up becoming a promoter for most of the clubs there. In time, he ended up becoming well known by almost everyone in G-ville who went to a club or bar. Eventually he ended up owning several clubs. When we first started hanging out I didn't think much of him except that he was cool to have around when we were on our narcotic binge late at night......After knowing him for a long time I eventually realized the reason why he did drugs. When he did the drugs it made him feel cool to be hanging out with us and other people. While we were doing whatever it was we were doing, he would always tell us about how he had this thing going on and how he had this planned in the future and how this club was going to be opening real soon. Hell, even I was astonished by some of the stuff he said he had kickin. Well, come to find out some of the stuff was true.....but only a little. He did own a several clubs but also owed a lot of people money and drugs.........now he's down in Miami selling street pharmaceuticals AND being part owner of a new club in South Beach.

My point is, she's probably doing it to try to fit in. if you still feel like there's hope....try talking to her and telling her she doesn't have to do stuff like that. If she tries to act like she's not doing that....just tell her to shut up and whether or not she admits it....you know the real reason why she's doing it. Believe me, it'll sink in.....

Peaches-n-Cream · #9 03-13-2003, 03:48 PM

KappaTarzan, my chapter had a situation like this. We extended a bid to someone, but she didn't have the GPA so we had to drop her. She had even been given a big sister. We encouraged her to improve her grades. The bid was valid for a year. The next semester she contacted us to accept her bid telling us that her grades had improved. Unfortunately, her overall cumulative GPA was still below the required GPA. It was a very upsetting situation for her and the chapter. She didn't realize that her cumulative GPA was what we looked at so she didn't deceive us, but still many sisters were upset with her and the situation.