What to Do

Professor · #1 11-09-2004, 01:27 PM

I have a friend that is in love with two different people. He has been involved with one person for four years and the other for a much shorter time. He says one always has his back and is supportive while the other makes his "head" and heart want to sing that song called slow motion. I don't know what to advise. . . So, help a Brother out!!!

Ideal08 · #2 11-09-2004, 03:14 PM

I mean, what does 'much shorter' mean? 2 days? 2 months? 2 years?

Is "your friend" thinking about marriage? Because if not, what difference does it make? He can keep doing what he's doing (which is what he's going to do anyway because that's what he's been doing for 2 days, 2 months or 2 years). If he is considering marriage, which woman does he think he can live the rest of his life with?

This is a classic case of some bullisht.

And I thought you ain't like the song Slow Motion???

(LMAO)

Professor · #3 11-09-2004, 03:43 PM

My Sister,

You should know me better. I don't care to hear Slow Motion in any public setting.

I think our friend has known the other person for two years but has only had "contact" within the last two months.

TonyB06 · #4 11-09-2004, 03:55 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Professor
I have a friend that is in love with two different people.

Not to be too skeptical

but how can the above situation be?

Professor · #5 11-09-2004, 04:00 PM

from what i'm told the first relationship was like 85% of what he was look for. now that this new chic has come along and that something special started happening he realizes that she may be 99% of what he wants from what i'm told

Ideal08 · #6 11-09-2004, 04:21 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Professor
from what i'm told the first relationship was like 85% of what he was look for. now that this new chic has come along and that something special started happening he realizes that she may be 99% of what he wants from what i'm told

I know what to tell your friend. Tell him to think of EVERYTHING that he despises in a woman. Then tell him that the 99% chick has at least ONE of the things on that list. It's inevitable. She only 99% because he has only known her for two years and he just hit. After he hit a few more times over the next two years, she will be just as 85% as the other girl.

Also, tell him that over time, he's going to meet who knows how many females that will seem 99% until he gets to know them better. What he needs to quit doing is LOOKING. Unless this is understood between him and 85%.

What percent is he? And how does he know that he is 99%'s 99%? Because what if he is 99%'s 85% and she has another dude that is 99% to her?

Also remind him that KARMA will avenge 85%. TRUST.

Professor · #7 11-09-2004, 04:25 PM

I want to convey the male opinion - however, i get what you are saying but please don't start on all men are dogs kick

Ideal08 · #8 11-09-2004, 04:33 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Professor
I want to convey the male opinion - however, i get what you are saying but please don't start on all men are dogs kick

Now tell me how you got that out of my post? Shoot, if you want to flip the genders, flip them. What I said still stands, lol. Karma don't care if you male or female. Not one little bit.

Professor · #9 11-09-2004, 05:06 PM

i see i have no backing from my frat. i guess i may be telling a male secret

Ideal08 · #10 11-09-2004, 06:01 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Professor
i see i have no backing from my frat. i guess i may be telling a male secret

I took this to PM. Check yours.

AKA2D '91 · #11 11-10-2004, 08:13 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Ideal08
Also remind him that KARMA will avenge 85%. TRUST.

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS, LAWD!

...love somebody...

I know this is an A &B convo, so I'mma "C" my way out...

LMAO @ this is some bullshit!

stardusttwin · #12 11-11-2004, 01:00 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Professor
I have a friend that is in love with two different people. He has been involved with one person for four years and the other for a much shorter time. He says one always has his back and is supportive while the other makes his "head" and heart want to sing that song called slow motion. I don't know what to advise. . . So, help a Brother out!!!

There was an email going around a while ago that said if a man has a girlfriend and hasn't made the move to adjust that status (ie get married) then basically he is available because he is just holding on to her "in case" the something better he really wants doesn't come around.

I think your friend needs to be real with himself before he can be real with either of these ladies. If lady #1 has all the qualities that he wants and needs in a partner then he needs to seal the deal...if not let her go so she can move on while he continues to search for what he wants/needs.

Whether or not it ultimately works out with lady #2 I can' t say. His head could be turning because he really has met his match and he's feeling guilty for stringing lady #1 along all this time. Or it could just be lust that will wear off & he's left with an imperferct woman who is no better or worse than what he already has.

Some argue the validity of the email (if I still have it at home I'll post later) - but I've found personally most of my male friends that are not really happy with their relationships will keep that woman around just to have one and then get caught up in some mess when the person they really are attracted to comes along...the woman that was left is usually hurt/mad/upset and it causes drama that could have been avoided if he had just been honest from the beginning. Woman #1 could very well be a good woman - just not the right one for him. Your friend is the only one that honestly knows the answer to that question and when he answers it he'll be better able to move forward.

edited to add of my friends that actually got married to teh one they weren't quite sure of...they are all divorced..just because you've been with someone a long time doesn't mean you should go ahead and get married because you put all this time into it - if it ain't right after 4 years it won't be right in 6 or after you've spent money on a wedding/house/have a child....and for the most part these were good women..just not the one for my friends.

babyfacenelson · #13 11-14-2004, 05:22 PM

Tell him to roll solo frat. He has somethings to figure out first.

SKEEphistAKAte · #14 11-15-2004, 07:59 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Professor
I have a friend that is in love with two different people. He has been involved with one person for four years and the other for a much shorter time. He says one always has his back and is supportive while the other makes his "head" and heart want to sing that song called slow motion. I don't know what to advise. . . So, help a Brother out!!!

"friend" huh? right, mmm hhmm.