Is it possible?

The Original Ape · #1 04-25-2001, 01:27 PM

I know this may not be Greek-related, but I thought I'd ask yall anyway. Do any of you think it's possible to be in love with two people at the same time? Tell us about it.

Ideal08 · #2 04-25-2001, 02:26 PM

What an interesting question!!! Almost 10 years ago, I was annoyed with a girlfriend of mine for claiming she was in love with these two dudes (We were 18, we had no idea it got deeper...). I thought it was impossible. Now, I'm not so sure. I've never had this dilemma myself, but a friend of mine is dealing with it now.

My opinion: I don't see why not. I think it's what you do with the feelings that's important. Y'know what I'm sayin'?

I have another question though, that's kinda like this. I'll come back with it later, though.

jazbri · #3 04-25-2001, 03:11 PM

Can you love two people at one time? I would have said hell no a while ago. Now I'd say it's possible. Obviously, you love people in different degrees. I would say; however, that I don't feel you can be head over heels, deeply, passionately about two people.

Professor · #4 04-25-2001, 03:14 PM

I dated my first girlfriend from 6th grade until my sophomore year in college and then we split. I began dating and eventually cohabited with my next girlfriend. After returning from vacation with the second girlfriend, I ran into my ex at a supermarket. She gave me that look and I knew I had to see her again. Later that night, I called my ex and we agreed to go out the next night. I went by her house and we talked for some time and I realized that I was still in love with her. After a while I suggested we grab a bite to eat. Every place I suggested she disliked. She wanted to go to her favorite restaurant "Shoney's!" I refused. After we finally decided where to eat and continued our conversation I realized why we stopped dating in the first. We simply outgrew each other and had nothing in common.

I now believe that I was fooled into believing that I was still in love with my first love. But in fact, I was just drawn to her beauty and her *&#%%$^+! - enough said!

Back to the question, I think different people satisfy varied needs. Perhaps one does it sexually and the other intellectually or financially. The key is to find a balance.

bigBERG · #5 04-25-2001, 03:21 PM

Yes I do believe that it is possible to be in love with two people at once. I believe this because I feel that love is dynamic and exists on different planes(think back to the econ diagrams). Because it does not exist on one plane love had the opportunity to flourish in multiple settings. You can love two people at the same time.

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Ideal08 · #6 04-25-2001, 03:49 PM

I get to ask my question now!

Jazbri and bigBERG kinda touched on it already. Anywho, do you think it's possible to remain in a relationship when you are no longer "in love" with that person? But you still love them? A friend of mine no longer believes in the whole concept of being "in love," because she feels like you get to a point where it kinda moves past that. (I don't really know how to explain it, hell it's her opinion, not mine, LOL!)

So, what y'all think? and can you be on that same "plane" with more than one person? (I had to tie in my question with OA's original topic

)

The Original Ape · #7 04-26-2001, 02:09 PM

I believe to be "in love" means you are completely immersed in a person, as much as you would be with yourself. You in them, AND they in you. It is a MUTUAL committment. As a result of it, all other emotions with that person are amplified.

To love someone is like the above, but it is NOT mutual. It's like swimming alone.

If you are trully "in love" with someone, there isn't enough of your time or attention to give to an additional person.

As for Ideal's question; hanging on is what a person that loves someone does. Many times they refuse to accept the reality that their favorite person doesn't/wont love them in return; yet they continue to try to win their heart.

Eclipse · #8 04-27-2001, 12:56 AM

I don't believe you can display romantic type love for 2 different people at the same time. Truely loving someone takes a lot of time and effort. I cannot imagine spreading that between 2 people. In addition, in most situations, loving someone else would be hurtful to your other love. How can you really say you love someone but do something that you know will hurt them? Sure it happens, but I don't think you continue the situations. "I love you both" is a euphomism (sp?) for "I'm cheating on you and don't want to stop"

For Ideal08's other question (girl, where do you get these from???

) Let me ask you a question, what does "in love" vs. love mean to you? Then I will answer...

mccoyred · #9 05-01-2001, 11:52 AM

I also learned the hard way that you can't go back. Childhood/first love is totally different than adult/real love. If your first love turns out to be your lifemate, you are to be envied because you are in the minority.

I agree that you can 'love' two people at the same time but to be 'in love' by definition means that you are dedicated to that one person.

Quote:

Originally posted by Professor:
After we finally decided where to eat and continued our conversation I realized why we stopped dating in the first. We simply outgrew each other and had nothing in common.

I now believe that I was fooled into believing that I was still in love with my first love. But in fact, I was just drawn to her beauty and her *&#%%$^+! - enough said!

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MCCOYRED
Mu Psi '86
BaltCo Alumnae

Dynamic...Salient...Temperate...Since 1913

CrimsonTide4 · #10 05-01-2001, 02:12 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by mccoyred:
I also learned the hard way that you can't go back. Childhood/first love is totally different than adult/real love.

I totally agree. Not even just childhood love but love from 3 years ago cannot (for me) be revisited. I learned it the hard way and now I am teaching it to an annoying ex.

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AKA2D '91 · #11 05-01-2001, 08:49 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by The Original Ape:
Tell us about it.

Okay, Jerry...

I think it is possible to love more than one person at a time. However, I do not believe it is possible to be IN LOVE with more than one person at a time. There is a difference between loving someone and BEING IN love with someone....

IMHO!

The Original Ape · #12 05-02-2001, 10:01 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by AKA2D '91:

Okay, Jerry...

I think it is possible to love more than one person at a time. However, I do not believe it is possible to be IN LOVE with more than one person at a time. There is a difference between loving someone and BEING IN love with someone....

IMHO!

Dang, 2d;

I wish I'd said that!

PrettyKitty · #13 05-04-2001, 12:19 AM

I think it is possible to love 2 people at the same time.
My own personal exp. has been that I loved this guy and thought I wanted to marry him and spend the rest of my life with him...but then I started to have doubts...I met this other guy and he changed everything for me. I fell in love with him instantly, and hope to spend the rest of my life with him. He is all that I could have ever wished for and then some...I felt guilty at first about the first guy, but I realiZed that I can't mess up my chance for true happiness with someone that I am not in love with.
Jill Scott Track #7 and the interlude b4 comes to mind when I think about the situation...

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