Undergrad Alumna

AngelPhiSig · #1 01-24-2003, 05:49 AM

Okay, most of you know that I am still in school and became alumna of Phi Sigma Sigma for many reasons, mainly financial, this past semester.

It was a long and difficuly decision and I still wrestle with it. I know that I would be leaving and taking status next semester anyway, but I really really miss just being active... like knowing things and greek week and such. I just feel so distanced and so lonely seeing that many chapter members dont see me, and dont talk to me (at the moment, I havent talked to my little for a long time) I see my three little and the sisters I have classes with, but Im busy. I dont know if anyone else is a recent alum and really missing active life. I want to stay involved with the chapter, but I know some sisters would say that I went alum for reasons and that I shouldnt be going to everything and "pretending" to be active.

Thoughts:
I have had a lot of expierence in the sorority and concider myself valuable to the chapter... why dont they appriciate me?

APPRICIATE your years as an ACTIVE sister/brother, they rock, even if they seem like they suck!

I think one of the reasons I started BSP here in Clarion was because I needed that "active/social" feeling... hmmm

Oh well... its 5am and IM at work...

KillarneyRose · #2 01-24-2003, 09:43 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by AngelPhiSig
I want to stay involved with the chapter, but I know some sisters would say that I went alum for reasons and that I shouldnt be going to everything and "pretending" to be active.

Ali, don't you DARE let those girls keep you from your sorority! You are EVERY BIT as much of a Phi Sig now as you were last year at this time when you were an active. I know that you have a lot of close friends among the actives and, from talking to you when we all got together at Peter's and reading your various posts, I also know that you have given your all to Phi Sig over the past few years. You have every right to still be a part of things.

Ignore those girls who would accuse you of pretending to be active. You joined your sorority for life - keep that in mind even if THEY seem to have conveniently forgotten.

aephi alum · #3 01-24-2003, 10:50 AM

I hear you...

I stayed on at the same school for grad school. I could have been a great resource for my chapter, and I would have been happy to help out, if they'd only treated me with the respect due an alum - instead, when I went back to help out with rush, the chapter president was extremely rude to me.

You may be an undergrad alum, but you're still an alum, and deserve respect. You're not "pretending to be active" - you're an alum in the area who chooses to be involved with your chapter - and your sisters have to recognize that.

Take care.

kddani · #4 01-24-2003, 10:58 AM

I think a lot of this holds true for very recent alums that stay in the area. So i definatelyf eel your pain.

I restarted our Alumnae Association in the area, and a lot of the women really wanted to help the chapter. But basically everytime i tried to offer help or ask what we could do, and faced A LOT of the same things you are facing. It was extremelly discouraging and upsetting.

But eventually I just gave up trying, and said forget about them. My KD experience is so much larger than just the chapter. I still love all the girls, and a lot of them treat me with a lot of respect, but unfortunately the ones that were in positions of power this past year and a lot of the older ones didn't. I'm more hopefully now that a new set of sisters has the reigns.

It's kind of funny, most of the time now the only time some of them talk to me is when they need to know something random, because it's very likely that I'll know (my head is full of all kinds of KD knowledge, and if i dont' know, i can usually find out within minutes!). I'll answer them graciously, but i'm not going to kill myself trying to do stuff for them.

I do miss it, but I have other things in my life now, so I guess that makes it better a little.

Lady Pi Phi · #5 01-24-2003, 10:58 AM

AngelPhiSig,

I can sympathize with you. I am not active myself this semester. I had to take the semester off because of financial and personal reasons. I really miss my sisters and everyday I wish I was back at school.
In once sense you're lucky. You are at school and can see your sisters, even if it's for a short time. I had to move back home, so I haven't seen my sisters since december.
But, KillarnyRose is right. You joined Phi Sig for life and you shouldn't have to pretend that you are active. If I can make a suggestion, you should sit down with your sisters and let them know how you feel. Maybe they honestly don't know that they're treating you like this. I'm sure your sisters care about you and aren't intentionally hurting you.
Take care, and things will get better.

PPL,

Emily

33girl · #6 01-24-2003, 11:00 AM

You know, it would be one thing if it was 1987 and everyone was having mixers every week and you were going to them all. But it isn't, and you're not.

Your decision was not because you didn't want to do the work or help the sorority - it was for reasons that most 50 year olds have never had to deal with, let alone college students. And I KNOW you have not been the only person that went alum or inactive because of $$$. Maybe the dues structure needs to be rethought...I don't know, I probably should not go there since it's none of my business. What if you had a sister who joined her senior year, graduated, stayed in town and kept coming to things? What would be the difference? Like Tracy said, you joined for life.

At any rate, your reasons for going alum were obviously good enough for nationals...unless they come down and say that you can't do things that you are doing, keep hanging in there.

#7 01-24-2003, 03:07 PM

Like Ali, I decided to go alum early--mainly because of financial and academic reasons.

Of course, I miss going to weekly chapter meetings and being included in the "fun stuff"...but I cannot say this enough...I LOVE BEING AN ALUMNA.

It was difficult at first adjusting to how much free time I actually had now, but then I started missing the meetings, the events, my sisters... I took a break from AGD for an entire semester!!! So last Fall, I jumped at the chance to help my chapter at their Recruitment events. It's hard for more than half of the girls to recognize me as an alumna because I was in the chapter with them and they're the same girls I go out with almost every weekend!

I am so thankful to the Hawaii Alumnae Chapter and to hawaiiagd for making sure that I stay involved. Ali, I really hope that these sisters will realize soon that Phi Sigma Sigma is for life and that your wanting to do as much as you can to help them out is an indication of how special PhiSig is to you. Sisterhood extends far beyond your collegiate days, and I'm glad to say that I am *finally* starting to have fun. I hope the same thing for you!

Tom Earp · #8 01-26-2003, 12:14 AM

Do you feel bad about this? Of course you do. Do I feel bad for you, I am not sure.

I have been dealing with my Chapter for 45 years and am still involved big time!

Do you feel slighted, yes, you do! You are the old and they are the new! Do they understand the valuable knowledge, no!

How do you deal with it, just hang with them a little. Let them know you are still amember and a caring one at that!

alphaiota · #9 01-26-2003, 12:23 AM

my whole chapter went alumnae at the end of my junior year. it royally sucked, but i got over it. i missed the active stuff then and i still do now. i'm lucky enough to be an active alumnae now with the dayton chapter of sigma kappa. in fact, i just helped the univ. of dayton chapter do rush. i loved it. i'm going to bid day tomorrow with them. they have basically let me be something of an active member w/out having to pay dues. i love it.

shelley j
sigma k