Rules for wearing IFC members letters

cinamin1 · #1 12-10-2002, 10:17 AM

okay...this is the scenario. i'm a member of the NPHC. this guy i'm really into is a member of IFC. From what i've experienced, even though we are all greeks, there are some differences in priorities, rituals, and rules when it comes to certain issues.

My question is: is it okay for me to wear his letters(on a necklace).

This came up b/c we were watching Scream 2 and Sidney's boyfriend gave her a necklace with his letters on it. And me (miss emotional) mentioning that it was "so sweet", he responded "that might be a good way for me to show you how much you really mean to me"

I dont want to get in trouble and i definately don't want him to get in trouble. So how does it go?

precious25 · #2 12-10-2002, 10:23 AM

do you mean lavaliering?

From what I know that means that you can wear his letters on a shirt too if he gives you a lavalier (letter necklace).

ZTAMiami · #3 12-10-2002, 10:24 AM

Hi Cinamin,

It might vary from fraternity to fraternity, but yes, it is a typical tradition for members of IFC to "lavelier" their girlfriends when things get pretty serious. Some might consider it a pre-engagement LOL-but don't get nervous now!
Often when a fraternity member laveliers his girlfriend his brothers will play a "prank" on him for "giving away" his letters. But, it is all done in good fun and tradition.
Good Luck!

DeltAlum · #4 12-10-2002, 11:50 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by cinamin1
I dont want to get in trouble and i definately don't want him to get in trouble. So how does it go?

If he says it's OK, it probably is.

Giving someone you're very interested in a lavalier with you letters is a very old tradition in fraternities. I was lavaliered to my wife 35 years ago.

The one difference these days seems to be that lavaliering appears to carry a bigger meaning/committment. It used to be a three stage process (and still is in some schools):

1) Lavalier
2) Pinned
3) Engaged

Also, a pledge could give a lavalier to his girlfriend, but had not "earned" his pin (badge) yet, so a fraternity pledge could not be pinned. A fraternity man could lavalier or pin any girl -- she did not have to be Greek.

Good luck.

astroAPhi · #5 12-10-2002, 12:48 PM

Is pinning kind of the equivalent of a Sweetheart? Because I know here it's down on the behalf of the entire fraternity, but often times it's a girlfriend of one of the brothers.

MysticCat · #6 12-10-2002, 12:52 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by astroAPhi
Is pinning kind of the equivalent of a Sweetheart?

No, it's the equivalent of "pre-engagement."

DeltAlum · #7 12-10-2002, 02:04 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by MysticCat81
No, it's the equivalent of "pre-engagement."

Right.

Pinning was a big deal.

In some cases, if the pinning was between a fraternity man and a sorority woman, there was an exchange of pins. I think that depended on not only GLO, but campus tradition.

Kevin · #8 12-10-2002, 02:19 PM

In Sigma Nu, the official rule is that badges cannot be worn by anyone besides the initiate to which it belongs.

There are exceptions: wife, mother, fiancee (not girlfriend), sweethearts.

There are variations in the execution of this from chapter to chapter but that is the official rule.

swede · #9 12-10-2002, 06:26 PM

Pinning is a big deal at my chapter. It is a pre-engagement act, and our brothers only have one pin (unless they are an officer and get an officers pin), so if they pin a girl they better be serious because she gets his pin.

It can be anyone too, not just a sorority woman.

We have a whole ritual we do at our formals when a brother pins his girlfriend there, or has recently pinned her.

Rio_Kohitsuji · #10 12-12-2002, 11:37 AM

On the pinning issue, I was just curious. In your own respective chapters, do you have to ask 'permission' to pin your girlfriend? I know before I was pinned, TKE209 asked his brothers for the 'okay' on it.

PS- Please remember, a Sweetheart is -not- a Lil Sis...just had to add this in..

The1calledTKE · #11 12-12-2002, 11:59 AM

No I have see anyone ask but then again they give them the sweetheart pin and not the brothers pin. Thats one fo the main reasons TKE IHQ made a sweetheart pin so you don't give up the brothers pin. lol

CarolinaDG · #12 12-12-2002, 12:21 PM

Hmm... I didn't realize there was a sweetheart pin, actually...

... But my sister was actually lavaliered AND a sweetheart. She was never pinned... Most people here choose something to do. One of my friends gave his girlfriend a ring with his letters on it, my sister was lavaliered, and I've never heard of anyone being pinned, but I think they do it. Things have to be pretty serious to be lavaliered, though, because the guy can only lavalier one girl, and the girl can only be lavaliered once. So, yeah, it's a pre-engagement.

AGDZO Susan · #13 12-12-2002, 01:16 PM

Has anyone ever heard of a sorority member lavaliering her boyfriend (giving him a lavalier with her letters on it)?

The1calledTKE · #14 12-12-2002, 01:20 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by BrownEyedGirl

Is the sweetheart pin a smaller version of the brothers' pin?

yes it is

PinkRose1098 · #15 12-12-2002, 02:20 PM

On the topic of sweetheart pins:

Sometimes there are very minute differences between the two pins. I know I've been pinned by my boyfriend and there is a difference which you wouldn't notice unless you had the two pins side by side and were looking at them. But it doesn't dimminish the meanning behind the gift.