grrrrr

OnePlus69Is70 · #1 11-26-2002, 11:24 AM

just need to vent.....we're having trouble keeping our house, because we have brothers and pledges who point-blank refuse to live there, and I have had it. We have a brother who refuses to move in, because he can't live without his housecleaner. We have another who is just plain pissy, and is paying double to live in his own place across town. Then there are a couple who refuse to leave the dorms, for reasons I really can't understand. They're rubbing off on our pledges, who are demanding to be allowed to live out of house, or be given singles, or some other outrageous thing. And the brothers in the house are angry, because they can't see why they should follow the rules when someone else flaunts them.

So what to do? I don't want to tell the brothers who are in violation they can't come to the house anymore, because I don't know how I would enforce it short of physically removing them. Same for the pledges- I don't know what to do with otherwise good guys who refuse to live in the house. This is one of those times I wish we had a national or an alumni corp. or something- someone else to be the bad guy, rather than the officers taking the blame all the time.

Kevin · #2 11-26-2002, 11:31 AM

Apparently keeping the house is not that important to them. If I was in the same situation I'd rent the house out to another group that actually wanted it.

Kevlar281 · #3 11-26-2002, 11:31 AM

Let me get this straight, a pledge is refusing to support the fraternity? Please tell me you have a blackball system.

tiramasu · #4 11-26-2002, 11:57 AM

i thought that having a house was a good thing. why would you not want to live in a house with all your brothers? my sorority would love to have a house and i am trying to formulate a plan to get one in the next year or so. if you lived in our area we would be happy to take it off your hands. it sounds like perhaps some of your brothers have problems with each other and not the house.
DELTA PHI MU

navane · #5 11-26-2002, 12:28 PM

Hrm...don't you have what some places call a "parlor fee"? I know of one sorority at my alma mater that charged a set amount of "extra" dues that a member had to pay if they chose not to live in. After all, the meetings and events are held in the house. It's there for everyone, not just the live-in members.

Since it's sounds like you're stressing the money issue, maybe this is something to consider?

.....Kelly

Optimist Prime · #6 11-26-2002, 01:18 PM

Pass a resolution in the housing commitee requiring pledges to move in the next year after pledging and set a minum of semesters they have to live there.

astroAPhi · #7 11-26-2002, 05:43 PM

Optimist has a good idea.

If they want singles, let them have them. Just let them know that they'll be paying extra for it.

Munchkin03 · #8 11-26-2002, 05:50 PM

...I've been there. Not on your side, but on the side of the people who just didn't want to live in house. My sophomore year (the fall after I pledged), I was a dorm counselor and was exempt from living in house (keep in mind, our "house" is simply one-third of a dormitory in a quadrangle built for fraternities). I liked being a part of the house, but could not have imagined myself living there. There were problems with EVERYTHING, problems that didn't happen to me in my freshman dorm OR in the dorm where I lived my sophomore year. Add to the fact that I just didn't mesh with the girls who were in charge that year (all conservative and a bit on the racist side), and you couldn't have paid me to live in-house. That actually caused a lot of problems, where my loyalty as a member (keep in mind I was one of the most active, and if I hadn't gone abroad, would have been chapter president) was questioned and I had women who claimed to be my friends and sisters say some of the meanest, most vile things to me. My junior year, I lived in a suite with some friends and had a BLAST (yes, there were some problems, but typical). This year, I decided to live in-house. I'm serious when I say that every day there is something new. I've stopped using the house kitchen (and cook at Mr. Munchkin03's or in the Independent kitchen) because it's nasty and no one wants to clean it up. There are girls here who pretend that they have maids, the kitchen, bathroom, and common areas are that unsanitary. There are factions between the first and second floors. There are always catty little accusations of theft, and I know of a few people already who are going to deactivate because things suck so badly. These are previously loyal members, who feel the house has deteriorated into a sham. It's things like that which make people not want to live in-house.

Sorry for the rant. I just got my second deactivation letter of the semester (I'm VP-Finance) and I'm more than a little annoyed, because I know what's happening. This probably doesn't apply to your situation, but a lot of people feel completely justified in the decision not to live in-house, and I can't say I don't agree with them. Living in a fraternity house, even if you're a member, isn't what everyone wants to do. Is that really a problem? The only way I can see getting around it is assigning a point system for housing assignments for the next year, and by requiring at least one year in house.

madmax · #9 11-26-2002, 06:27 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Kevlar281
Let me get this straight, a pledge is refusing to support the fraternity? Please tell me you have a blackball system.

Blackballing someone isn't going to help you fill your house. You would just end up with even less members and the friends of the blackballed members won't be standing in line to pledge next semester.

You should find out why they don't want to live in the house and correct the situation.

What if the guys that live there are slobs? Would any of you want to move in?

xp2k · #10 11-26-2002, 06:55 PM

I agree with optimist prime.

Let pledges know that when they pledge, they are obligated to live in the house for a minimum specified amount of time if the house is under quota.

If they decide that they do not want to live in the house (and its for other reasons then financial constraints) then I probably would ask them to evaluate their purpose for joining a fraternity if they do not desire to support it.

For the people that live out, charge a live out/Parlor fee.

Many chapters design it so that paying the parlor fee + paying their living expenses discourages members from living out.

I know a sorority here at IU that charges about $2500 for liveout fees!

If you dont want to punish/discourage your members with the fee, at least design it to generate some extra cash flow.

I would also make them sign contracts and sign up for a collection or financial agency. Many brothers dont understand that money has to come from somehwere. Dont let then figure this out when its too late.

I wouldnt reccomend leasing your house away just yet either. Well, at least not totally.

This may sound dumb, but there are many chapters that take borders, i.e. non-members who pay rent to live in fraternity houses becuase they are cheap and convenient.

If you think about it, there are many things that a fraternity house offers that an aptartment/dorm can not...and vice versa. There are guys out there that like that.

Fight to keep your house though. At Indiana University, giving your house away is basically a nail in the coffin.

I understand your predicament, its hard...actually I'll say its impossible to tell brothers that they cant come around. However, if the future of your chapter is at stake, then you may have to make some drastic changes.

crystalline · #11 11-26-2002, 07:37 PM

I know my sorority's house is completely dry, which is a huge turnoff to people who are over 21. However, we have a housing policy which states that 4 members of exec MUST live in the house, the president being one of them. I think the thing to do is make is seem like a privilege to live there, not something you're forced to do.

UofIL AXO · #12 11-26-2002, 08:45 PM

Maybe you should contact your nationals. If a national consultant stopped by for a week and explained the seriousness of the situation and consequences to the group, they might get farther. I think the attitude right now is that everyone believes they "deserve" to live wherever they want. The physical house is a business. It needs funds to run. Without enough money, you will be unable to pay your mortgage, lights, etc. Being part of the fraternity means taking on responsibility for the facilities as well!

Kevin · #13 11-26-2002, 08:47 PM

The parlor fee thing reminded me of something. When I was treasurer and we had everyone move out of the house at once I charged EVERY member an empty-room fee to make up for the lost rent.

Peaches-n-Cream · #14 11-27-2002, 01:09 AM

You might want to look into the underlying reasons as to why they don't want to live in the house. If they want singles, give them singles if they are willing and able to pay. Make the house nicer than on campus housing. If they want a maid, hire a maid who cleans the common areas weekly or every other week. A resolution can read that members must live in the house for at least one year unless they live at home or are resident advisors.

#15 11-27-2002, 02:38 AM

How bad of a condition is this house in that they don't want to live there?