de-activating?

[jharb]

I am considering deactivating from Pi Phi. I don't want to have to deal with all the petty stuff involved with this house any more. If I'm going to be taken to Angel Support Board over things like my roommate and I are being too exclusive and we're too loud/giggly then I don't want to be a part of this house. The head of ASB when giving our "second warning", when we didn't get a true first warning, told us that we were being warned because we're too loud and we're too exclusive.
For one I'm carrying 21 credit hours, a job that requires 16 hours a week minumum and still active in the house. I'm hardly ever here, how can I make that much noise?! My roommate is here, but when she's in our room alone she's not loud. We see each other for a few hours a day and supposedly we're so noisy in those hours we shouldn't be in the house. If the few hours I am in this house I want to hang out with a small group of people then I should be able to. We aren't even being given a chance to explain ourselves and it's very unfair.
I really did love this house and I was going to run for VP Moral or Recording Secretary. Now I don't want to be on exec anymore, I don't want to be a part of this house and I don't want to be around the girls in the house right now. The whole thing just doesn't seem right. I don't even feel comfortable asking freshmen over to rush because I don't want them to come here, I want to tell them to get as far away from this house as possible.

Jess

[breathesgelatin]

awww, jess.

first off, give it a little more time. everyone gets really really frustrated with their house at some point. no sorority is smooth sailing all the time.

what are your house rules on noise? do you have a copy of your house rules and quiet hours? ours are very well-defined. look into your house rules as well as the by-laws and see what you can determine from them. doesn't your house have common areas where noise is allowed?

overall, i'm pretty surprised you would be disciplined for this. it seems this is the kind of thing where your neighbors could just come over and tell you to quiet down, and THEN if you didn't respect that, maybe it would be time for a chat with standards. for example my next door neighbor is an accounting major, like first in her class, and is interviewing with all these huge firms. she's spending all of next week in new york plus keeping up with her classes. well sometimes me and my sophomore slacker friends listen to the music a bit too loud, but she comes over and we quiet down immediately and move the party elsewhere, like to the tv room on the first floor. that's a spot that won't disturb anyone trying to study. (heck, that's why we HAVE a study). i dunno. it seems like maybe your chapter needs to clarify or improve your house rules so everyone understands them and can comply.

anyway, i hope you get to feeling better. i know you're stressed! give it a little time--at least through pledgeship next semester and if you're still unhappy after trying to resolve the difficulties, then you can think about deactivating.

[UDZETA]

I know what it is like...You should read my post on "sad and hurt by my chapter". I wish you the best of luck! It will get better.

[carnation]

jharb, I pmed you.

[Silverblue]

Jess, I pmed you, too.

[angelic1]

I am really sorry to hear that you feel this way. I know that I lived in the house for two years.. and there were plenty of times when I felt like things were not so great. Though I realized that well, there are 36 of us in one house and there are bond to be conflicts. We are like a family.. not all families are perfect but you take the wonderful things with the bad things that go on. I know that this year I have been even happier since I am not living in the house.. but I would never trade that experience for anything.

I know one thing that our chapter did was hold a retreat at the house where everyone was able to discuss concerns. Since we do not do this at meetings.. though these were general concerns. They asked questions and if you felt one way you went to one side or the other of the room and if you were torn.. you could sit in the middle. The we talked one a time on each side about the issue. I think that this really helped clear the air on things and def had positive effects on our chapter moral and effectiveness. Every chapter goes through its ups and downs and every member does too. Your exec and board so be made aware about how you feel so that something could be done.


I hope that things are able to turn around for you... there is so much to pi phi and we shouldnt let the petty things come between us.

[clothesgirl]

Hey Babe,

Yeah, I understand how you are feeling. Our house is small, but we have many different personas living in it, from the artistic relaxed type to the psyco neat and organized type. How can there not be some tension?
It sounds like this isn't the only thing that stressing you out though. You have a really full schedule, and instead of being able to come home to a house you can relax in, you feel like you are coming home to more stress.
It sounds to me like your sisters miss you, though, if they are complaining that you are being to exclusive. Maybe they need some lovin'. Give them a chance. They only talk to you about it because they care. If they didn't, believe me when I say they probably have more important things to worry about. Apparently you are important enough to worry about. If that's not status, I don't know what is

Take it easy, this will all blow over soon enough.

pi phi love,
your canuck sis Chris