Need advice about co-worker -- HELP!

SATX*APhi · #1 10-12-2002, 06:42 PM

Okay, so I have to leave to work in 10 minutes, so I am going to try to get through this all.

First off, so that you all know my work environment, I work at Target. I work evenings and have requested a lot of days off because I have gone out of town, had other things to do, etc. I cannot work Mondays and Wednesdays because I have a night class. That leaves Sundays, Tuesdays, Thursdays, Fridays and Saturdays. When I go out of town, that only leaves me to work Tuesday of that week, and maybe Thursday. Point is, I have missed a lot of work.

One of our operators at work (the gal who sits at the fitting room) has been talking a lot of trash about me to our co-workers. She tells everyone that I obviously think I am too good to work for Target, that I don't care to work, and obviously am too rich to not have to work. Riiiiiiiiight. This girl, woman rather, is really pissing me off!!! She is around 30-ish and is acting as if she were 5.

Yesterday (Friday) was my first time working since Tuesday the week before, so I hadn't worked in about a week and a half. I am walking into the store and approaching the operator's booth so that I could find out what area they put in. Well, as I am approaching the booth, I see about 5 co-workers and the operator gossiping. Come to find out, the operator was talking about me, telling everyone that she was willing to bet that I was not going to go into work. Obviously she was wrong because there I was!

As I was working last night, one of my co-workers asked me if I was going to work my shift tonight because if I was going to call in, she wanted to take my shift. WTF?? Supposedly the operator was the one who told everyone I was going to go into work tonight. Ugh!!

And yes, I have called in on a few occassions and have also had a few no call -- no shows, but those weren't my fault. If you request time off, it is given to you. It isn't my fault that the woman who makes the schedules didn't do her job. It is not my fault that she again schedules me to work on the evenings that I have class.

The operator (gal I can't stand) gets on a lot of people's nerves. She can be your best friend one day and despise you the next. The people she is buddy-buddy with right now are the people she talked about last week. The operator actually had the audacity to ask another of our co-workers, whom I am really close with, if I had something against her. Gee, I wonder!

Okay, this has gotten really long. I have tons more to say, but I need to leave to work now. What I really need advice on is, what should I do? I have never, ever fought in my life, but I am so close to punching this gal, I mean woman, in her face! I am the type to let things slide. I like everyone unless they do something to me personally. I just cannot stand this girl and want to talk to her, but I know she won't listen and she doesn't care about what I have to say. Should I punch her in the face? J/K I seriously don't think I would do that. Ahhh, I am so clueless as to what I should do about this. My biological sister told me to punch her, my mom told me that I am arrogant so there is no reason to dislike the operator for stating the truth, and my dad tells me oh well. What should I do???

Thanks to those who take the time to read this and offer advice.

I am off to work!

texas*princess · #2 10-12-2002, 08:09 PM

SATX*APhi, I am sorry you are having unpleasantness at work

That is never fun.

As far as advice, I would have to tell you what my parents always told me "violence isn't the answer"

hehehe

seriously though, I can understand how this situation can be disturbing, especially if you have to work with this particular lady all the time. it is just my opinion that you should try to do something about it. try talking to her (even though you say you know she will not listen it might be worth a shot to try).

i think as long as you are the "bigger person", you will come out strong in the end. people that work there may begin to notice that all of this is one-sided (only certain people making rude remaks, and you not making any remarks in retaliation may be noticed!). if the operator who you speak of is really the way she is, other people that work there may begin to notice and not even listen to what she has to say anyway.

i hope this helps, and i hope you had a nice evening at work

AlphaSigLana · #3 10-12-2002, 08:57 PM

confront her. Say listen, I don't appreciate you spreading gossip about me. If you have something to say or a problem with me let me know. Yes I do take a lot of days off this is due to school and other private matters that don't concern you. If I was too good for target, i wouldn't be wasting my time staying here. So from now on keep your mouth shut.
Well I like to think that I could say this,but i hate confrontation. I worked with a crazy lady like yours that spread gossip. One of my friends at work just quit--didn't even turn in a notice - bc she was so sick of the gossip and the lady's lies. She had worked there for 4 yrs. Obvioulsy quitting probably isn't an option for you. But I really think this is a problem that needs confrontation.

three2tango · #4 10-13-2002, 12:13 AM

You know this story makes me think, for once in life wouldn't it be fun to just do something mean?

Like, take a picture of her and put it in your local paper (if you live in a big city this won't work) with a caption that says "Turnin 31 and lookin for LOVE!" Or put an add on Yahoo Personals with some really seedy bio.

AlphaSigLana and texas*princess are the ones with the advice to follow but I think my idea would be more fun for the short term.

Optimist Prime · #5 10-13-2002, 01:32 AM

Pick up a copy of Maxim.

SATX*APhi · #6 10-13-2002, 01:37 AM

Thank you all for the advice. I still have no idea what to do. Last night I had a "speech" all planned out. I just could not get myself to talk to her. I hate confrontations, especially if she is the one I have to confront. I cannot believe she would not look at me tonight. I figured I would "pretend to be nice" and just smile at her, and be cool, but she wouldn't even look at me.

And you know, everybody knows how she is. I have no idea why everyone thinks that they have to kiss her @$$, rather than not talk to her. It's like everybody there wants to kiss her @$$ and be her friend. I don't get it!! But yet, they all talk about her behind her back.

I HATE GOSSIP!!! I try my best not to gossip and wish everyone could do the same. Ugh!! Sorry for my rant, I just cannot stand the way people at work gossip! The one girl at work who I was supposedly really good friends with, yeah, I find out today she has been buddy-buddy with the operator in talking about me.

God, PLEASE give me another job! Yes, I am looking for another job. I had an interview on Friday at an attorney's office (since I have do have 5+ years working for a judge) and I hope I get it!!! If not, I have applied with five other attorney's. I've got my fingers crossed.

Again, thanks everybody for your advice. If anyone else has any advice for me, I'd love to hear it.

TARGET SUCKS!!!!!!!!

SATX*APhi · #7 10-13-2002, 01:41 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Optimist Prime
Pick up a copy of Maxim.

Now why the hell would I do that??

amycat412 · #8 10-13-2002, 03:13 AM

I echo Hootie's excellent advice.

Good luck with finding a new job!!! After some abrupt management changes at my office yesterday, I feel the need for a new sitch myself. Sigh.

SuperSister · #9 10-13-2002, 10:57 AM

To be honest, I would probably just ignore her completely. Someone like that isn't worth my time and energy and with such a busy schedule it's not worth it to spend time stewing over her. If everyone knows what she's like then if they choose to listen to her it's their own problem. While it's nice to have friends in the work place it's a job, and since in the grand scheme of things you don't spend that much time there I would rise above it and not give her the benefit of letting her think that she got to you.

Emily

Lady Pi Phi · #10 10-13-2002, 11:13 AM

I don't mean to be a bitch here, and obviously I don't know the whole story, but do you think that she is acting this way because she is resentful or mad at you in some way? Could she be picking up more work because you haven't been able to be there? I don't know, but instead of bitching at her, talk to her in a civil mannar. Ask her what the problem is, and try to work out these issues. If you can't I would say leave. You have a part time job to earn some extra money, how much money can you be making if you only work one day a week? Anyway, all I'm saying is she might be mad at you for some insignificant reason and she's blowing it way out of proportion, but things won't get better unless you deal directly with the issue.
I hope thing work out for you, and good luck with your other job interview.

Best of Luck,

Emily

sororitygirl2 · #11 10-13-2002, 02:02 PM

How can you work at an attorney's office if you can only work evenings?

Anyway, I would just politely talk to the lady that you are having trouble with at work. Be sure not to be accusatory, use "I" phrases instead of "you." For example, "I am a little concerned because I have heard that my absence has bothered you. I am trying to work and go to school, and the supervisors here understand that I can't work full-time... etc, etc..." Basically, what everyone else has said sounds great.

My only other suggestion is that if talking to her doesn't help, you should probably mention something to a supervisor.

Good Luck!

Optimist Prime · #12 10-13-2002, 03:00 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by SATX*APhi

Now why the hell would I do that??

Because it had lots of neat ideas to sabotoge your coworkers such as planting dirty porn type stuff and pictures of transvettite prostitutes with their name on it

SATX*APhi · #13 10-13-2002, 03:46 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by sororitygirl2
How can you work at an attorney's office if you can only work evenings?

It isn't that I can only work evenings. At Target, my schedule is that I work evenings. I am taking one Monday/Wednesday evening course, so I cannot work those evenings. Other than that, I am available to work any time of the day or night because I am taking four additional courses via the internet.

I do think I should talk to her; I just do not know how successful the conversation will be. I can contain my temper and talk maturely; however, if she were to continuously and argue and dismiss the situation (which I think she will), I would have to walk away from the situation. My first post, about me punching her, I was just saying that because I was upset at the time, but I would not do that. I have never fought in my life and never hope to. If talking to her does not work, or if she is just not willing to talk to me, I think talking with one of the managers about the situation will work. Thank you all. I knew GC’ers could help me out.

I have to work again tonight. Ugh! Pray for me.

sigmagrrl · #14 10-13-2002, 03:58 PM

In this case, take the role of the employee who does faithfully show up to work. I have a co-worker that calls off a lot and also pulls no show/no calls (probably the most unprofessional behavior in my opinion). Now, how do you feel? Being unable to count on a co-worker sucks ass. I deal with it and it's gotten me to the point of just not speaking to certain people.

BUT, I don't think the gossip is called for.

First thing, don't blame your boss for a supposed lack of documentation concerning preapproved time off. Particularly if it happened more than once. If it did happen once, the next time you should have quadruple checked with your boss to make sure they were aware you were not coming in. Second, start being a model employee. Since you don't like it and are trying to leave, great. But, don't give anyone else any more cause to question your integrity.

Second, simply ignore the woman. You are leaving soon, she is not a god, and since it seems you don't have much emotional investment in this job, don't invest any more energy into this issue. Focus on leaving and things outside of the job....

wrigley · #15 10-13-2002, 04:19 PM

It's sounds like that this operator woman has nothing else going on in her life that she has to invent drama at the workplace. She's most likely jealous of the fact that after you graduate from college she'll still be stuck in retail hell. Just remember that most of life's bad situations are only temporary. Document the times and days she's said mean things about you. If you don't feel comfortable confronting her go to her supervisor and ask to make him or her a partner in mediating this situation. Chances are this isn't the first time drama queen has had issues with staff. I'd try to time another job while this is going on. Balancing school with life isn't easy but I think you'll do fine.

Wrigley