what's a girl to do now?

bluethunder · #1 10-28-2002, 08:40 PM

soRHOrs, sisterfriends, and others who can relate:
to put it mildly, my heart has been broken FOR REAL and i need some good old fashioned "get on with your life" advice--
i drove 5 hours to my long distance love this weekend to celebrate our anniversary; he greeted my with roses and other gifts, and he even had an artist sketch a poster of his favorite photo of me as a keepsake to commemorate our special day. we had a wonderful day-- went to lunch, strolled around parks, drove on the South Beach, and went to the movies. then he said, "we need to talk about us" and after that, he broke it off because he said long distance was too much. needless to say, after 3 long years of the ups and the downs, my heart aches. of course, i got the "it's me, not you"- "you're a wonderful woman and you helped me grow and we've shared so much"-speech. it didn't help. so here i am, feeling numb, knowing that what GOD ordains, will be. i've been praying about it, but is there any advice for how i can fill my time without thinking about this? (y'all know a soror is HURTING in florida!)

SeriousSigma22 · #2 10-28-2002, 09:48 PM

Sorhor Bluethunder,

Keep breathing because there are other fish in the sea and there is always someone else out there that is more suitable for you. Anyway, would you really want to be in a long distant relationship where you might not be able to trust the brother? I know that you are hurting right now, however, you have to continue to live and enjoy life. Just give yourself sometime to heal and then when you know that your heart is ready give it another shot!

Serioussigma22

NinjaPoodle · #3 10-29-2002, 03:21 AM

Sent you a PM Soror Bluethunder!

toocute · #4 10-29-2002, 10:51 AM

Sistafriend Bluethunder

The only advice I can give you is to continue to pray on it and remember HE has a plan. God wouldn't let this relationaship end unless he had someone better for you some where.

Stay blessed and keep logging into Greekchat for Laughs and Support.

toocute

jojapeach · #5 10-29-2002, 12:06 PM

Soror, if you hurt, I hurt, too. That's why I sent you a PM!

A message for all sorors and sisterfriends: the best thing you can do in any breakup situation is do what you feel is best. Prayer is always one of the best things you can do. When you do what you feel is best even if anyone you confide in thinks it's a bad move. I am speaking from experience, and I didn't start getting over it until I did what was best for my heart.

It may take a while, but you'll eventually heal and find a greater love than you ever imagined.

kizzie22 · #6 10-29-2002, 05:43 PM

Awwwww SoRHOr, I am sorry to hear about your recent breakup. It seems like a storm right now but IT will get better. I am going through a similar situation with more drama. Check your PM. Just turn it over to the Lord he will work it out.

HolyGhost7 · #7 10-30-2002, 02:18 PM

You know they say that time heals. All I can say is that you have to allow yourself time to feel hurt...because its okay

Three years is a LONG time to be in a relationship and just call it quits. Prayer is an excellent outlet for you to tell God how you feel, why you feel, and whatever else is on your heart. But remeber that you also have to come to a point where you are ready to listen and be able to hear what HE says. Remeber its two way communication. But it sounds like you are on the right track. It will be okay because weeping man endureth for a night but JOY cometh in the morning. You have sisters here who you can vent to when you need it.

Sigma Luv,
Holyghost7

bluethunder · #8 10-31-2002, 09:34 AM

awww, soRHOrs,
you ladies have been the RHOyalest to me this week:
i got all kind of PMs and sorors in far away places took the time to give me little words of encouragement and advice and to share their experiences with me...to EVERYONE(sorors and non-sorors) thanks a MILLION...
just another CONFIRMATION: SIGMA GAMMA RHO for life!
eee-yip!

Eclipse · #9 11-01-2002, 01:57 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by bluethunder
i've been praying about it, but is there any advice for how i can fill my time without thinking about this? (y'all know a soror is HURTING in florida!)

Blue thunder, the Bible says "Pray and watch" which I have always taken to mean, yes pray, but also do something. My advice to you would be to put the letters, cards, pictures and other mementos in a box in some place that you cannot easily get to. It does not help to keep reminding your self of the good times you had together.

Find a trusted friend that you can grieve with for a while. Give your self time to cry, etc., but don't stay in that pity party for too long.

Keep BUSY!! Find time to occupy your time outside of the house. Sitting at home by yourself will only make you think of him and want to call him.

And last but not least, don't try to get back in the dating game too soon. Take your time to see learn about yourself, assess the relationship and what you want for the future.

Be Blessed

poodleNtraining · #10 11-01-2002, 07:44 PM

Blue, I know how the whole all-of-a-sudden break up goes, and like everybody has already said, take time to pray, cry your eyes out for a minute, then get up and move on to do something else. Take all the momentoes and either throw them away, or put them in a box, seal it, and put it on the highest shelf in your house. Don't EVER look at it again until you have completely moved on, forgiven him, and found TRUE TRUE love. Then, and only then will you be strong enough to look at it without crumbling, trust me. But in the meantime, go get a facial, massage, manicure and pedicure, and brand new hairdo. This will help you feel better, at least a little. It will give your self-esteem a little umph. And remember, him leaving you was HIS lost, not yours. Anyone to throw that away isn't worth your time and energy. I had to learn that the hard way. And it really is true! And don't date until you're ok (for the most part!) with being single again. That way you won't subconciously throw all your old feelings into the next man walking down the street,a nd you'll know that your feelings for the new person are for the new person and not just because you're lonely!

I hope everything goes good for you!!!!!!!!

bluethunder · #11 11-02-2002, 12:57 AM

Eclipse: thanks for the good advice
PoodleNtraining, thanks for the virtual hug... it was SOOOO sweet!
just to fill every one in, i called him yesterday and the conversation we had really sealed the deal for me; it actually made me feel better... if inquiring minds wanna know what ol' brother man had to say(and believe me, he was so off the chain, it really made me wanna say "LATER!"), hit me on the PM.. until then, know that while my heart is still fragile, i am on the mend for real!

BlueReign · #12 11-04-2002, 02:08 PM

I'm glad you are feeling better!

Remember to cry as often as you feel like it. It's been a year now for me. I broke it off because I really had to. Boyfriend still calls now to this very day. But I am a better person now and I consider that breakup one of my better moves!

Strive · #13 11-04-2002, 11:50 PM

Everyone is giving you such good advice. Keep your sorors advice close at hand you. God Bless.