sex question

alphachiohmy · #1 11-15-2001, 10:33 AM

When do you think sex has a place in a relationship? Would finding a girlfriend/boyfriend who is waiting for marriage affect how or if you date them? On the flipside, when is a guy/girl considered a slut or manwhore? Does that affect who you date vs. flings?

Just curious as to how you all view sex?

SH80er · #2 11-15-2001, 10:42 AM

A guy has to slide a ring on my finger, before he lays me!

LeslieAGD · #3 11-15-2001, 12:51 PM

Personally, I think that sex should come into play in a relationship when both people are ready for it, whether that is a month or a year into that relationship. Some people get extremely emotionally attached over sex and others don't. I don't think I would treat a guy waiting for marriage any differently, however, I have yet to meet a guy who is waiting for marriage. I think that being a "slut/manwhore" depends on the situation. It's not necessarily fair to say "if you sleep with X number of people, you're a ho" because someone could have a lot of partners due to bad relationships/breakups rather than just randomly sleeping with a lot of people. Just my opinion!

IowaHawkeye · #4 11-15-2001, 12:59 PM

i don't have a schedule i follow in relationships, like
ok after x number of days and phone calls we can do some heavy making out
after x number of days, phone calls, and presents we can head south of the border
and so on... i take relationships and everything they entail as they come, and as mature adults, when we're both ready, we take it from there.

i don't like to use the terms slut/whore, hoe/manwhore - what theyre doin in the bedroom with however many people is soo none of my business!

SigmaChiCard · #5 11-15-2001, 01:07 PM

i like to wait at least 4 hours after I meet them. I feel that gives me plenty of time to decide if I'm ready for sex.

No, just joking.

It all depends on what type of relationship it is going to be.

I'm def not too into rushing things, because if we're not going to be together for a while, then why make yourself look like someone just trying to get laid, but if you do see yourself being together for a while, then you've got plenty of time to get laid two or twenty times a day. Either way, no real reason to rush to bed.

Now, if you're in it cause this person is hot & you don't really care what they think about you if you part ways, then I'm all for rushing off to bed (to be honest), Lord knows. No person is going to really disrespect your decision to stay abstainate (sp?) unless they are a real ass hole, in which case you drop their ass, otherwise, don't deprive yourself of getting it on either, cause who doesn't want to have sex? I mean, intense pleasure sucks! But just don't doing it intellectually, decide emotionally, with your heart.

then go to bed...

SigmaChiCard · #6 11-15-2001, 01:10 PM

IHE-

If it's x number of days each time, is that x from the beginning, or from the last place where x left off? Cause that'd be weird, go forever with nothing, then all of a sudden, round 1st, 2nd, 3rd & slide into home at the same 'at bat.'

SparkliiQTMTSU · #7 11-15-2001, 01:23 PM

I agree with everyone else. It all depends on the relationship and if the two of you are ready. I know that I dont rush into anything sexual in a relationship mainly b/c I dont want the realtionship to end up based on that which in some cases it can. If your partner or maybe partner is waiting for marriage why should it matter?? Is sex the reason youre dating the person???? and I totally agree with IowaHawkEye I believe that It's noone's business how many or who anyone's been with!!!

Nichole

SigmaChiCard · #8 11-15-2001, 01:28 PM

I know a girl who has slept with 19 guys. If I didn't know that, and was considering dating her, I'd def want someone to tell me. Same thing for my guy friend who has slept with 15 girls.

SparkliiQTMTSU · #9 11-15-2001, 01:33 PM

I believe that once you do get into a relationship or whatever with a person you should be able to openly discuss who youve been with so that the other person does know not to go tell their buddies or anything just for their own FYI!

Nichole

amycat412 · #10 11-15-2001, 01:48 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by SparkliiQTMTSU
I believe that once you do get into a relationship or whatever with a person you should be able to openly discuss who youve been with so that the other person does know not to go tell their buddies or anything just for their own FYI!

Nichole

Oh No. Trust me on this one--been there, done that, and it is a BAAAAD scene. No one really truly wants to know. It breeds insecurity, etc. Now I am talking about relationships, not hookups.

I don't want to know how many people he's been with and I'm not telling him how many I've been with. But this is from a 30+ viewpoint too--in college and early 20s I did feel differently--but too many times with full disclosure causing problems for me or him or both--nope, learned the lesson don't ask/don't tell.

As for when--I agree with most everyone else. When both of you are ready. I've had relationships where this was immediately, and relationships where this took six months--it definitely depends on the situation.

SH80er · #11 11-15-2001, 01:50 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by SigmaChiCard
I know a girl who has slept with 19 guys. If I didn't know that, and was considering dating her, I'd def want someone to tell me. Same thing for my guy friend who has slept with 15 girls.

DeltaBetaBaby · #12 11-15-2001, 02:48 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by SigmaChiCard
I know a girl who has slept with 19 guys. If I didn't know that, and was considering dating her, I'd def want someone to tell me. Same thing for my guy friend who has slept with 15 girls.

Do you know the exact circumstances surrounding each of their sexual encounters? Do you know their own motivations for their actions? Do you know how they felt before, during, or after?

I think you have a lot of nerve passing judgement.

SH80er · #13 11-15-2001, 02:51 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by DeltaBetaBaby

Do you know the exact circumstances surrounding each of their sexual encounters? Do you know their own motivations for their actions? Do you know how they felt before, during, or after?

I think you have a lot of nerve passing judgement.

In a circumstance like that it's the action what counts, screw intentions!

There's like diseases out there!

KillarneyRose · #14 11-15-2001, 02:53 PM

The second date I had with my husband, I lured him to my apartment for chicken parmagian and then pretty much attacked him. We were engaged within two weeks.

My point (yes, I have one) is just that if a guy decides he likes a girl, he is going to want to further the relationship whether or not sex is involved. Conversely, if he doesn't particularly like her, sex isn't going to change that either.

So, there's what I think I think!

But I could be wrong; wouldn't be the first time!

shadokat · #15 11-15-2001, 03:08 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by SparkliiQTMTSU
I believe that once you do get into a relationship or whatever with a person you should be able to openly discuss who youve been with so that the other person does know not to go tell their buddies or anything just for their own FYI!

Nichole

Oh nooooo! I mean, it's good to want to try this, but how many people are really truthful about the # of folks they've been with!! It was like that episode of Roseanne where Jackie's in the restaurant with Fred and he says "so how many serious boyfriends have you had", and she says "serious? just a few". And he says, "Yeah, that sounds like me and the people I slept with." And Jackie says, "Well, slept with isn't what you asked!" And when Fred asks Jackie how many guys she's been with, she says "oh it's not that many...3 a year since I was 18." (Ends up being 60!) Its hysterical!!