For RUSHERS

RACH_DG · #1 08-08-2001, 01:23 PM

First of all I want to say that I really think your topic is great!!! I really applaud you for taking into consideration the feelings of the PNM's. You must make a wonderful recruitment advisor. I think so often we lose sight of what kind of power we really do possess when it comes to rushing these girls.

This will be my second year as a rusher, and although I look forward to meeting all the new girls and gaining new sisters I honestly do not enjoy all the aspects that go along with rush!!! I hate the fact that here we all are, thrown into a room with tons of girls we don't know and then given the job of weeding out the good girls from the bad...simply just by talking to them once or twice. How can this be a logical way of really getting girls you want. Okay, so you have a couple of girls who are really, really nice....they are everything you look for in a sister. They get good grades, they are nice, polite, they are really involved in other activities....you love them the instant they walk into your house. However, you are only given the chance to talk to them three nights...I mean really talk to them, and in my honest opinion anyone can be the apitomy of sisterhood for just three days. How do you know they are going to continue being the person you thought they were. I know it sounds silly but it has happened to my chapter and it is not a great feeling. There are a lot of things that people don't see when you only have the chance to become aquainted with someone. This also goes for those who may not seem as great!!! I am still kicking myself for saying something negative about someone (which possibly kept her from getting a bid) who is now a member of another sorority on campus and has gotten them tons of recoginition because she is such a leader. Wanna know what I said?? "She just agreed with everything I said so much that I thought she wasn't even listening to what I was telling her". Of course at the time, I thought this was a legitamate reason for why she shouldn't get a bid...she seemed uninterested. However, I never took into consideration that she was probably just VERY nervous and didn't know what TO say to me.

I personally think rush is over-rated. Formal rush begins on my campus for sororities the same week school starts. I mean really, how can you get to know these girls....and really know what they are all about??? I just think there should be another way to go about rush....make the girls have to be on campus for a year, or something like that so you have the opportunity to really get to know them. I just think by us "rushing" into extending bids we are missing out on a lot of great girls...and possibly gaining some who aren't neccessarily sisterhood material!!!

Anyone else feel this way besides me??

Laine4JC · #2 08-08-2001, 05:55 PM

RACH_DG: I think you're right about Rush...it's not fair to sororities or girls going through Rush to expect to get to know each other in a matter of a few days. That's why I am SO glad that my school has Rush at the beginning of second semester. We have a full semester to get out and meet girls and they have that time to understand what each sorority represents and to get to know us. I wish every school did it this way...I definitely recommend it. Out of 35 girls that my sorority got last year, I knew 32! How many people from other schools can say that?

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Whitney

33girl · #3 08-08-2001, 07:20 PM

RACH_DG - I agree with you 110%, as everyone who is tired of seeing me proselytize for deferred rush on this board can attest.

I think about myself and if I would have had to rush first semester. (I know no one "has to", but you know what I mean) With the exception of a 2 week trip to Florida the previous summer, I had never spent time away from my parents. I dated very little, had had the same friends since 7th grade, and lived in the same house all my life. I didn't even have any friends whose parents were divorced, that's how sheltered I was.

My point being, I had NO CLUE who I was, or what I wanted out of life - I don't know how I could have picked the women who were going to become my new family with what I had to go on. I had to learn who I was first and what I wanted out of life before I made that choice. It was bad enough I started seriously dating a guy before I was really ready - if I had made as bad of a choice with my sorority, I probably would have burned all my letters long ago.

I think the reasons against deferred rush are bogus, especially "we need them to go in with a fresh start and no preconceived notions." Well as we've seen on here, there are PLENTY of freshmen going in with preconceived notions, so that argument kind of loses support, doesn't it? Yeah, I knew all the "reps" when I rushed, and so did the other women who joined. Our chapter wasn't one of the more prestigious ones and I was GLAD people knew that going in. That way we knew they were there for the sisterhood, not the house or boys or social climbing. I can't imagine choosing a chapter before I even had a class. To me it's like buying a car without test driving it.

If NPC really wants to end some of the negative connotations of "rush", I think they should give deferred another look instead of just changing terminology.

zetagirly, bravo to you. You're right, every rushee is a superstar - maybe not for XYZ, but she might be for ABC.

AlphaSigLana · #4 08-08-2001, 10:58 PM

Superstar room how depressing- In one house I rushed they did separate us- and I didnt get a bid- I hope they didn't do the superstar room.
Rushees check out my post Stop worrying and I mean it! I agree zetagirly and you sound a lot like me and what I was thinking when I wrote my one post. Self esteem is so vital in young women and I would never want to make someone feel low about theirself. i have been made to feel that way and it sucks and it takes a long time to heal. To all you rushees you all sound like great girls and I wish you the best!!! I'm sending you an email hug of love and kisses with best wishes!!!!

zetagirly · #5 08-09-2001, 12:49 AM

I am a rush advisor for a chapter and I have developed a lot of opinions that I would like to share and I hope I don't cause rushees to be scared but I really think we as adult women have the fragile self-esteem of young girls in our hands and need to be aware of this.

Two things I have put a stop to in my chapter and they are:

1) During pref or the last round of parties before pref we used to put the "super stars" in a separate room on purpose so they will be rushed harder. I know not every chapter does that and on paper that makes sense but I stopped that because those girls who are in the super star room and those girls who are not will eventually figure it out the first time they are rushers. That will lead to wondering why they weren't in the super star room, etc. and that can be detrimental to them in the future.

Every young woman is a super star in their own right. Every single on of them and yes ok we have our preference but I hate what that says. Let's say that no one in the super star room accepts a bid from us. That causes pain to the sisters too. they can quesiton why aren't we good enough for them?

2) Also, a girl last suumer said out loud in front of the entire chapter, "we should be really really selective this year. no offense to our last pledge class." I was shocked and appalled and that is totally unacceptable.

3) I know I posted superficial pointers for rushees but that is because my heart goes out to all of them so much. We have their self esteem in the palm of our hands and that breaks my heart. I wish my school wasn't as cut throat as it was. And I know that fact I got into a great sorority says nothing about me as a person. It's simply luck. I know that.

My boyfriends school is a lot different. All the sororities have great girls, bad girls, fat girls, skinny girls, etc. They have about 7 sororities and they are truly just about the same "caliber." How refreshing.

SSS1365 · #6 08-09-2001, 08:55 AM

I heard a rumor about one chapter at my school that supposedly when they do the bump groups, they have a lot of sisters at a time with the girls that they really like. So basically, if a rushee only has one or two sisters talking to her at a given time, then they're not really that interested in her. But if she has a lot of sisters talking to her at once, then they are interested in her. The chapter in question is the one that I REALLY wanted when I was rushing. Here's the thing... the entire time I was there I never had less than 7 or 8 sisters talking to me at a time, but I didn't get a bid. And I didn't hear about what they supposedly do until AFTER I was already a sister in my chapter. So I guess I'll never know if they really liked me (and just didn't have enough bids to go around) or not. But it doesn't matter because I love my sorority

[This message has been edited by SSS1365 (edited August 09, 2001).]

LeslieEMU · #7 08-09-2001, 09:26 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by SSS1365:

I heard a rumor about one chapter at my school that supposedly when they do the bump groups, they have a lot of sisters at a time with the girls that they really like. So basically, if a rushee only has one or two sisters talking to her at a given time, then they're not really that interested in her. But if she has a lot of sisters talking to her at once, then they are interested in her. The chapter in question is the one that I REALLY wanted when I was rushing. Here's the thing... the entire time I was there I never had less than 7 or 8 sisters talking to me at a time, but I didn't get a bid.

At my campus, this would be considered "dirty rushing." There are only supposed to be two members talking to a PNM at a time (you can even get away with three when there are fewer girls going through Recruitment than normal). If we ever had more that three girls on a PNM you would get slapped with a rush infration.

AlphaChiGirl · #8 08-10-2001, 12:26 AM

Here's yet another vote for Deferred Recruitment...I make an argument for it at least once a week.

I think it's better to Rush once the first semester grades have been submitted. If the first college grades have been submitted, you have a much better picture of how the PNM is academically. Everyone knows that HS grades usually aren't that accurate, especially when you're dealing with different school districts and grading scales. If Recruitment is not held until after first semester, you have people who are more aware of what they can handle academically.

zetagirly · #9 08-10-2001, 12:42 AM

Thank you to all those who have given feedback to the thread that I started.

This is my opinion, and I am speaking from personal experience as a rushee. I WISH I had rushed as a Freshman. I really do. I also prefer formal rush as opposed to informal. My reasons are as follows: I was clueless going through rush even as a sophmore but I wish I was even less tainted and being a greshman I would have been. I am CONVINCED that I would have gotten better grades had I had the scholastic support in my freshman year rather than a year earlier. I think I would have developed as a person/leader/woman SOONER and I really really really wish I had rushed as a freshman. I also think (for man reasons) freshman have an advantage.

Also, I prefer formal recruitment because I was NOT the type of person who could simply walk into a house full of strangers and hope to become thier friend. I like being somewhat forced and structured to go to house to house. OF COURSE the entire rushing process is flawed but I prefer formal.

My two cents ine more time!

Quote:

Originally posted by AlphaChiGirl:
Here's yet another vote for Deferred Recruitment...I make an argument for it at least once a week.

I think it's better to Rush once the first semester grades have been submitted. If the first college grades have been submitted, you have a much better picture of how the PNM is academically. Everyone knows that HS grades usually aren't that accurate, especially when you're dealing with different school districts and grading scales. If Recruitment is not held until after first semester, you have people who are more aware of what they can handle academically.

UofIL AXO · #10 08-10-2001, 09:14 PM

This is kind of in response to everyone's comment that you don't really get to know the PNMs during rush. Well my experience was that I didn't feel like I knew my house well enough. Somebody posted that they met someone who they thought was so-so and ended up being a great leader on campus. My experience was that my chapter seemed extremely fake and snobby to me. I didn't think I'd fit into what seemed like a "face house." I got a horrible impression from them and was pretty disappointed when I saw them on my bid card. Bid night was awesome, it was one of the best nights of my freshman year. Suddenly all the girls had taken down their "rush masks" and were fun, goofy and NORMAL. I talked to my pledge mom about it and she said that they got a lot of pressure to act a certain way during rush. So I guess I don't know the point of this story because I don't really know if anyone else has been through this, but I guess wrong impressions can go both ways and houses can be a lot different and for me alot more fun after rush is over.

AlphaSigLana · #11 08-10-2001, 09:57 PM

I understand what you are saying. I really did not like my chapters skit. I thought they were boring, but I enjoyed bid night and realized how much fun these girls are. This year we are going to do a much better skit. All of us pearls said the skit is what ended up turning us away from our chapter other than that we liked it.