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08-06-2001, 02:33 AM
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GreekChat Member
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Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: San Diego, CA, USA
Posts: 421
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Don't want to say the wrong thing!
Hey everyone,
I've got a little question that I hope someone can help me with. I rushed one sorority in particular last spring, (didn't get in) and am rushing again after being encouraged to by several of the girls. I'm totally excited, and feeling pretty confident, but here's the thing: last year, rush was structured in a way that was sorta nerve wracking. On our first night, we went to the beach with a frat, on the second night, we had a kind of formal meeting where we were told about dues, responsibilities, shown a slide show, etc, and on the third night we had a game night with a different frat. The problem I had with this- and some other girls felt the same way- is that being thrown together with a bunch of hot guys when you barely know the girls is really intimidating. It seems to me that it would have been a relief to have the formal meeting first, thus making all the rushees feel a little more at ease. So my question has two parts: one, am I unreasonable in thinking that things would be easier that way? and two, is there a polite way that I can mention this to anyone before fall rush (which is in like a month)? I communicate via email with a couple of the girls, so it wouldn't be out of the blue. I'm probably freakin for new reason, but if anyone has some input, I'd love to hear it!
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08-06-2001, 09:14 AM
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GreekChat Member
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Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: Ashland, Ky. USA
Posts: 50
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I think that feeling uncomfortable during a rush like you described is completely normal. I personally feel that this type of rush isn't necessarily the best because not only are you already nervous about meeting all these girls but you have to worry yourself sick about talking to these guys. (you never know what guy you are going to talk to that one of the rushers may have a crush on, or may be their ex-boyfriend) I think this puts way too much stress on the rushees. And regardless of what people say the girls will judge you on how you act around these very hot guys. Some girls may feel threatened...like if you are prettier than them they may not want you because you will get all the attention from guys. I know, it is sad that people are that way, but you have to face reality...girls are usually always in constant competition with one another and that's just the way it is. My best advice to you on this is play it cool during these rush parties where you do interact with the fraternities. Try to hang out with the girls as much as possible...even if you look like a tag-a-long. Be friendly with the guys, but not overly friendly as you may give the rushers the wrong impression of you.
As far as mentioning to the rushers that this particular way of rushing isn't necessarily the most effective is probably a bad idea. Wait to voice such a strong opinion until you are a part of the sisterhood. Why?? You never know who came up with the idea to corespond guys into rush. You definatly don't won't to get on anyone's bad side and make them think that you are going to be the type of person who thinks EVERYTHING has to be your way!!! You need to save that until you are one of the sisters...because then, your opinions will be looked at much differently and taken into consideration. Also you will less likely hear the comment "oh my gosh, she isn't even one of our sisters yet and she is already trying to change stuff about our rush".
I hope this will help you a little bit!!! Best of luck during rush!!!
~Anchored in DG~
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08-06-2001, 06:54 PM
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Moderator
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Join Date: Sep 2000
Location: Hotel Oceanview
Posts: 34,518
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Is this an NPC sorority? I thought all rush parties were supposed to be "no boys allowed."
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08-06-2001, 07:36 PM
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GreekChat Member
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Join Date: Mar 2000
Location: Boston, MA USA
Posts: 74
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wishinhopin:
I pledged a local sorority and am happy to say that when we did rush (or what we call pre-smokers and smokers) what was most important was to fill the girls in about what the SORORITY is about...
It wasn't about having girls who are rushing going out with different frats (or even our brother frat) before even getting to know the active sisters!
I think you are right to feel the way you do. Afterall, you want to get a feel for what this group represents and is like and if you are comfortable with them. You can't get a good feel for that if you go out with frats you don't even know about before even learning about the GLO you want to pledge!
But that's just my opinion from when I pledged my sorority... We have both locals and nationals on my campus and I can't recall any of the GLO's there doing what you have described.
However I think RACH_GD is right... Once you are in the sorority might be the best time to make suggestions or try to make changes.
But if this is the way this particular sorority opperates, you may want to think about if this is the type of group you want to be with... Hope this helps.
------------------
"Once a Kappa, Always a Kappa" ...Kappa Gamma Chi
Emerson College Boston, MA
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08-06-2001, 07:45 PM
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33--
That's what I thought too. I didn't think that we were allowed to have rush events with fraternities.
When I pledged, we were STRONGLY ENCOURAGED to abstain from partying with the fraternities on campus until we were initiated. Even if the pledges went on "unofficial" events with the guys, the no alcohol policy was strongly enforced.
Rush itself is a very nervewracking time, and I don't know why a sorority would make it even more difficult by having their rushees mingle with men.
Shouldn't the PNMs get to know about the sorority itself...their sisters...what it stands for...before getting to know men from other organizations?
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08-07-2001, 05:50 AM
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GreekChat Member
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Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: San Diego, CA, USA
Posts: 421
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Hi everyone,
thanks for the input. I'm assuming this is an NPC sorority, it's international and all that. It's just that at my school, there's only one non-ethnic interest even national sorority (and two frats I think, which would be the ones we hung out with), so we don't have formal rush at all. I think the sisters were just trying to make it fun, but it was just so stressful. Hopefully this upcoming rush will go smoother. I'll keep ya posted! And I'm definitely not going to bring anything up until (if and when) I'm a sister also.
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