After a long debate with myself and a good friend tonight and some weighing of pros and cons by a sister, I finally got myself to go out with a group of friends, knowing my ex would be with us. This had been problematic for me because of a few reasons: a) his new girlfriend appears to hate me because everytime I've seen her, she looks me up and down, obviously causing me to not be comfortable around my ex even though we had been friends up until the point they got together. b) the breakup was long and rough and took a long time to get over, but like I said, we remained friends. c) I have been more concerned about making him uncomfortable around our mutual friends (i.e. mostly his bros) and feeling like he should leave, or feeling so uncomfortable that I have to leave.
So tonight, after the debate, I drop all my inhibitions and go anyways. I actually talked to the ex, joked with him, and was even able to drive him back to his car when everyone was going home. We talked a little about everything and I feel like this
GIANT weight has been lifted from my shoulders! Everything that has been bothering me lately has just become so miniscule and I feel so much better about life in general, all from just losing the fears and putting my potential friendship first. I even agreed to at least meet the new girlfriend (who, apparently, does not hate me but thinks I despise her, although we have never spoken a word to each other in our lives, but she's willing to try and be acquaintances as well... cool with me).
It probably sounds really stupid and childish, but this experience has made me feel so much better about myself, like I never had anything to fear or anything to lose in the first place.
Anyone else have similar experiences where something so seemingly simple can have such a dramatic effect on your self-confidence and life in general? Where the burden is just magically lifted like it was never there in the first place?
I feel so great right now... It's 3:15 and I'm on an endorphin high!
When that burden is lifted...
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