Have You Ever Cheated

[MaMaBuddha]

i am piggy backing off of a topic that 99melodies posted about eric jerome dickey's book "Cheaters", that i thought was interesting.

all SF's, GF's, and MEN can answer.

and i present this topic to you...

have you ever cheated on your significant other?
have you been cheated on by your significant other?
have you ever thought about cheating?

last but not least why did you cheat?

~~your opinions will not be criticized as we are all adults over the age of 21 in this forum~~




------------------
Delta Alpha
Spring 94
_________________________

Imaginer un métro rempli avec les anges tombés...

Evil knows where evil sleeps~~Nigerian Proverb

[learningeveryday]

It's funny this topic came up today, because Monday night I went to Cleveland to see my boyfiend/son's father. I guess I should've "called first" because I caught him in bed with another woman. (I have a key) Of course his excuses were a bunch of bull. We have been together for 4 years and had started making wedding plans, picking out the dress and location and such. Well I am heartbroken and I don't know what to do. I have it in my heart NOT to take him back though. Thank you for listening.

[99melodies]

No, Yes, and No... I know what is like to be cheated on and I was heartbroken so I would never to that to someone. But at this point in my life (only 19) and the mother of one (3) I have no time for games so I am staying away from relationships.

But when I first started reading the book I was just like "DOGS...They are all dogs!!!" but look how old the characters where, do we have to wait until 30 to find a man that is ready to settle down!

------------------
As always...the inevitable, the divine, the epitome of womanhood!

[candygirl]

Originally posted by Imperial11:
Sorors and sisterfriends beware and PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE don't get caught up in the "BABY MAMA DRAMA"!!!!!

This can never be said enough. I know from experience. Men tend to lie when it comes to the baby mama stuff. "Baby I ain't messing with her no more. I'm just taking care of my child. you're the one I want to be with, she ain't nobody." WHATEVER!

No, I have never cheated
Yes, I have been cheated on
No, I have never thought about cheating(what's the point, if you're not happy just end the relationship and move on.)

[Salience]

No I have never cheated
Yes I have been cheated on (is that grammatically correct?)
Yes I thought of cheating, but I knew it would be wrong, and since I was so unhappy I needed to go to the source. Who was the one who cheated on me. Obviously, we broke up soon afterward. I couldn't become someone I wasn't, intrinsically, and cheating to get back at someone is never the answer. I'm glad I got that life lesson, becase it hasn't been repeated.

[DELTABRAT]

Yes
Yes
Not lately

[This message has been edited by DELTABRAT (edited May 30, 2001).]

[Metamorphosis]

No, I have never cheated.

Yes, I have been cheated on. I was with my boyfriend (GDI) at the time for about 9 months, then the school year started up and that was the year I was going to get my butt on line. Long story short, he thought I was cheating on him because I was never home durings the wee hours of the morning. Being a non-greek, he didnt understand what Pledging entailed, so he turned around and cheated on me. Men.. I tell ya.

No, Ive never considered cheating. Call me crazy, but I believe in doing onto others as I would want done onto to me. So I have never considered cheating because I wouldnt want that done to me.

Also "Cheaters" was a fabulous book!

Much Delta Love, OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-OOP!!!


------------------
Metamorphosis
Spr 97 #4 Pi Beta
Brooklyn Alumnae

[MaMaBuddha]

to answer my own question.

yes
yes
and yes

i admit i have done some dirt in my times. and not to say it was right, because it wasn't.

now the question why?

because i was bored...i had the attention span of a 10 year old when it came to relationships. (at that time) i don't want to be categorized. i wanted something exciting a new everyday and even when i was in a relationship, i was looking for it. i still held on to what i had but....something else came and captured my attention.

the very first time i cheated, it was when i was dating my then boyfriend who was a member of a BGLO. he was also cheating on me, with several girls whom i thought were my friends. i though he was the prefect guy (i was wrong) and i use to boast to all my male friends about how good he was to me. one of my best guys friends was so sick and tired of me running my mouth that he just told me, my man cheated on me several times. i even snuck into the all-male dorm to look in his room and found evidence.

nevertheless, we broke up and have become friends and even when we talk about the past, neither one of us will never admit we cheated.

[buterscotch1]

Yes
Yes and;
Yes
Why? I was tired of him NEVER being home and other women calling our house etc. So, I took a "good for the goose, good for the gander" attitude. I'm not proud of what I did because I know it was wrong, and it didn't make me feel any better. So, I ended both relationships.

[Chi_ZETABBW]

YES
YES
YES

Simply because I'm human and couldn't fight the temptation. Not proud, but not ashame. S*** happens. Would I do it again........hmm,not planning on it, but who can say for sure.

[korkscru]

I'm proud to say that I've NEVER cheated on my husband (even when we were dating) and we've been together for almost 10 years (MARRIED for almost 3 of those 10 years).

Now at the BEGINNIG of our relationship, somehow my husband found it necessary to cheat. As a result, I have a step-daughter. But our relationship endured even that. It took quite some time for him to regain my trust, but according to HIS ACTIONS, MY OBSERVATIONS, and MY KEEN INTUITION (God gave women this special gift), I feel that he has been EXTREMELY good, honest, and faithful to me since then.

I don't know about anyone else, but I feel that often times we SAY that we won't stay with someone who cheats and then DO the opposite. Gaining insight from my OWN personal experience, I would not tell anyone to leave their significant other because he/she cheated----as you can see I didn't. Now I can't say that I would have done the same if my husband had cheated after we got married (things change drastically when you have a HUSBAND versus a BOYFRIEND).

I guess it's safe to say that EVERY situation and relationship is DIFFERENT and it would haveto be up to that person to decide whether they want to deal with it or not. I do believe that although MEN and WOMEN cheat, it IS possible for them to be remorseful and not do it over and over. It's really up to the individual.

[pink_ace]

yes
yes
yes
I'm kinda like a men when it comes down to my emotions getting involved (as soon as I start falling for someone I get scared and run)so when I started falling for "him" I cheated with an old flame. He's never cheated on me to my knowledge, but every other boyfriend has. And to answer the last question, yes I thought about cheating on him again because we were having mad problems and I was very unhappy, but I just broke up with him instead.

[This message has been edited by pink_ace (edited May 30, 2001).]

[Imperial11]

I read the book while I was dating a guy and when I completed it, I began to tell him about it because I knew that he would never read it. Well when I got to the part about how the engaged guy (Jake, maybe?) was cheating on his fiance and how the girl who he was cheating with knew that he was involved with another woman, my boyfriend stopped me in the middle and asked "What's wrong with that?" I ignored that ignorant comment and went on with the narration, so when I finished, I asked him, "Wasn't Jake a jerk and wasn't the girl that he was cheating with equally as trifling?"

What he said next got him CANCELED----He said, "Don't trip, the trifling girl might be you." My question to him was, "What the he!! do you mean?" He tried to laugh it off, but since I had always had the feeling that he was living a DOUBLE LIFE with his BABY MAMA (so ghetto!!!!) I just decided to take myself out of the situation. Glad I did too, because he wasn't hardly worth no REAL heartache. Which is what I would've gotten if I had ever had some hardcore evidence of their relationship. Actually, that statement that he made was hardcore enough for me.

Sorors and sisterfriends beware and PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE don't get caught up in the "BABY MAMA DRAMA"!!!!!

------------------
"22 Resurrected Jewels of DiSTinction"
Gamma Pi '01
Columbia College
4/12/01

[sunnydays96]

MaMaBuddha, if I may add another question to your list.

Have you ever helped someone to cheat-meaning you were alone, but you got with someone who you knew was involved?

The reason I ask this question is because I believe what goes around comes around. My girl decided to mess with a guy that was involved. They parted and eventually she moved on to someone else. She then had a committed relationship with this new guy and a couple of months down the road he cheated on her. I was wondering why because she had never cheated on him. It made me believe that yeah good things happen to good people for no reason. However, I recalled that in her past she had helped someone to cheat so now it was her turn to feel the pain of cheating. I think in relationships you get what you give. It may not happen in sync, but at some time or another what you do will come back to you.

To answer the guestions:
No, I have never cheated on my significant other.
No, I don't think that I have been cheated on by my significant other.
No, I have never thought about cheating because it's too complicated.

have you ever cheated on your significant other?

Well I don't have one right now but I did cheat on my ex if you want to get technical. I had been calling him and leaving messages with no return. He wasn't dead, in the hospital, or jail according to his grandmother so after a week I said forget it. We were in troubled waters prior to his casper move, so as far as I was concerned it was over between us.
I met someone and went on a couple of dates. Sometime into the third week Myestranged boyfriend decided to call me because he hadn't talked to me and wondered how I was doing. My name was DY-N0-MITE because I blew up on him. When I asked where he had been he said that he went out of town because he needed to think. Funny during all of this "thinking" he never THOUGHT to call me.


have you been cheated on

yes. I saw an exboyfriend of mine walking down the street holding hands with another girl. When he saw me, he tried to covers his face with his hand. How pathetic is that? I left him a message that I saw him and if he tried to talk to me or explain, the result would be humiliation and or injury.

have you ever thought about cheating?
yep but I believe what goes around comes around and I certainly wouldn't want anyone to do that to me (although it has been done).
I don't think I could do it. My guilt would consume me.