Not representing your org well?

[kddani]

Here's a question that relates to a lot of things such as the greekchat board or even what we see on sorority life.
What should you do if a member of your org is not representing themselves in a very good light in an online forum? IE talking very vocally about sex, drinking, etc. etc that's making your org look bad. Such as if you saw a member of your org doing such on GC. Would you pull a Jessica-style "cockblock" and hope not to get virutal slapped? What would you say? What should your standards be? Even though this is online, shouldn't your members, who display your letters, refrain from "unsigma-like" behavior? What kind of standards-type action could/should be taken?

Does your GLO have an internet policy? KD's does. Here's some bits and pieces of it:
"Kappa Delta encourages chapter members and alumnae to publish and communicate freely and openly on the World Wide Web, but when doing so should abide by policies and guidelines contained herein, as any reference to Kappa Delta will reflect upon Kappa Delta's image, both positively and negatively. Members are reminded that website pages are public documents and have a potential audience of millions, mostly non-members."

Also has this to say about chatrooms/message boards:
"Profanity, obscenity or words of pornographic nature are strictly forbidden in both public and private chat rooms."

I'm all for freedom of speech, but does someone have a right to engage in negative activities while publicly representing your group? Everyone wants to be an individual, but when you join a sorority you're joining and representing an entire organization of people.

This obviously applies in real life as well, but for the interest of this thread let's keep it to online-type situations. What do y'all think?

[TKEmz894]

I dont believe you should do anything but tell them that your chapter does not act in that manner, and if you disagree with them state that their opinion is not your Sororitys national stance on that subject......

[DeltAlum]

Originally posted by kddani
I'm all for freedom of speech, but does someone have a right to engage in negative activities while publicly representing your group? Everyone wants to be an individual, but when you join a sorority you're joining and representing an entire organization of people.

Great topic.

What's interesting is that I don't think this is usually a freedom of speech issue at all. It's a matter of maturity and common sense.

Some of the same people who argue against wearing their letters in a bar (where maybe a couple hundred people might notice )come on the internet (which, arguably, anyone in the world can read) and act like an idiot.

Where does good taste begin -- and end?

On a more basic level, we talk about the values of our organizations. What would our founders say if they could read some of the stuff we post?

Something to think about, isn't it? I know I will.

I think everyone on these pages realizes that it's individuals who are typing this, not people who are trying to represent their national frat/sorority. However, elsewhere on the internet community people generally aren't as understanding. They'll get the wrong impression about your organization an' the greek community all together.

As for a repremand? I think many people in chapters nationwide go to far with tryin' a be pricks about when brothers/sisters are havin' too much fun, or venting anger. Any fool can go on a powertrip; It takes brains and patience to sit down an' discuss the root of the problem an' the values or morals at stake. The persun may realize what they've done was immature an' uncalled for an' fix it, or you may realize it's not that much of a transgression.


The point is: We're part of something bigger an' should be concious of how we represent it by minding our manner (especially on the public forum of the internet), but at the same time we shouldn't be over-protective so that it's not fun for anyone to be a part of it.

[kddani]

This wasn't directed at anyone in particular. It's a subject that has come up more than a few times, and in different forums. I do a lot of stuff online, especially in regards to my sorority.
This was more of a thought-provoking topic. It's a hard topic... but i think very relevant on this board, and also in relation to what we all talk about with Sorority Life.
I do thank you, KDatUTC for toning things down a bit. I'm no prude, but not everyone is as open an not offended as you or I may be. I barely even talk about sex to my friends, so it's just not something that i ever even think about, but it doesn't offend me. But when someone has their letters screaming out in a post or whatever the equivalent in another forum would be, I do think that they need to be responsible for representing their letters like that.
I don't know where the line falls, i've had a few problems with this myself in regards to talking with a journalist- the line between representing myself and representing KD. I appreciate people's responses and hope to see more! I think it's relevant to all of us.

[James]

(Edited to elaborate on some parts and for grammar)

I am sure she didn't specifically mean to single you out. Your posts have been unremarkable to me, meaning they don't stick out in my memory as being particularly off color. Unlike say a UF_Pike.

It would also be unfortunate behavior of a person to single a person out on what is substantially a matter of personal taste in a post without at least having an on line dialogue with them through PM's or emails.

kddani's posts seem pretty reasonable so I doubt she would be guilty of this.

Here are some basic generalizations that apply to many people across many situations.

Don't take it personally and certainly don't feel constrained to modify your own behavior to meet the needs of a few people's personal taste. A personal taste that not even a majority of your sisters may feel, although a lot will give lip service to it. However, they do have the right to let their personal tastes be known.

Why would you ever allow yourself to be manipulated that way? that is a recipe for unhappiness when you are being forced by the personal comfort zones of some people to feel guilty and apologetic about being yourself.

Its a blatant example of people manipulating others into being uncomfortable so that they can be more comfortable.

As far as online conduct . . . There have been MANY times many off color threads in chit chat. I would like to direct your attention to this Thread in Chit chat:
http://greekchat.com/gcforums/showth...highlight=junk

Where basically we have a 144 responses, many by members of prominent sororities and some by alum advisors/officers, to as how our bodily fluids smell/taste during oral sex and how to influence that odor. If that didn't get people censored, well I wouldn't worry about your posts.

But less you think that the thread had no redeeming social value I did learn from the ladies that pineapple juice is most likely to leave me with sweet smelling semen and that I should avoid asparagus as well as waste elimination at all costs before intimate moments. LOL. I also learned that any unpleasant odor associated witht the sexual regions is probably because of what the lady ate that day . . .

No doubt some future lady will be appreciative of that thread, although I may have a hard time honestly explaining why I have a refrigerator full of pineapple juice and pineapple products or why I serve pineapple flavored cocktails . . . although on reflection I hope she doesn't realize cause its hard to emphasize that your intentions are honorable and not planned if you are tring to arrange err certain odors in advance.

Originally posted by KDatUTC
This obviously pertains to me, right? I do have a lot of problems with how we have to "represent our letters" at all times on the web, but when push comes to shove....I'm going to have to abide by this aren't I? And I have no prob with it.

But, I guess my question is why is talking about sex negative? I guess it was just the way I was raised...but to me, I have no problem with talking freely about it. I don't understand why it is considered "pornographic". It is a natural part of life, and I have said this before...I can't stop being who I am or how I was raised to believe.

Oh, and the "vulgar language"....can't help if I help if I have a sailors mouth when I get heated at times But, I will watch how I use it

Although, I will respect my sisters by watching what I say from now on. I didn't know all this when I joined, but it was my choice to...so I can't complain

I don't agree with it, but I guess I have no choice. I love my sorority way toooooo much to jeopardize it.

In AOT,
Ivory

[justamom]

KDatUTC, I haven't read any of the posts you are refering to. This is a great topic because it reflects what's going on in general.

I have said things too, a lot of us have, that have been harsh of "colorful". KD's online policy is something we all should take to heart.
hedrixski-a good point The point is: We're part of something bigger an' should be concious of how we represent it by minding our manner (especially on the public forum of the internet), but at the same time we shouldn't be over-protective so that it's not fun for anyone to be a part of it.

I wonder what the age range is that reads these posts. It'pretty easy to pull up GC when you are researching GLO's for ANY type of information. So, our community is being seen by PNMs and parents, GDIs and antigreeks. I don't think we need to whitewash everything, but we can choose to present our ideas in a way that is intelligent and thoughtful. I couldn't agree with Delt Alum more What's interesting is that I don't think this is usually a freedom of speech issue at all. It's a matter of maturity and common sense.

At a time when some campuses/fraternities/sororities are scrambling for members, we should do our best to act in a way that mirrors what we want in our membership. That should include a vocabulary beyond that of a 5th grade little boy.

[LeslieAGD]

Originally posted by hendrixski
I think everyone on these pages realizes that it's individuals who are typing this, not people who are trying to represent their national frat/sorority.

Yes, maybe the people that chat regularly on GC do, but we must take into consideration that other Greeks and Non-Greeks are around as well and they may not see it that way.

[anchorjenni]

I think you have brought up a great point, kddani, especially in light of some of the discussions on this board. This was a great idea for a thread, if only to make people think before they speak (or type, as it is). Good job.

BTW, I had no idea KD had an internet policy - I find that very neat. Hopefully that will become the norm one day soon!

Jennifer

delta gamma
"I didn't come to college to find a husband, I came to college to find bridesmaids."

[greeklawgirl]

Originally posted by LeslieAGD
Yes, maybe the people that chat regularly on GC do, but we must take into consideration that other Greeks and Non-Greeks are around as well and they may not see it that way.

My sister brings up an excellent point. This has been my one big battle cry on GC, especially to the other AGDs. These are public forums, and we represent Alpha Gam at all times, even when we think other people aren't looking (or in this case, reading). No matter what the topic is, there are almost always ways to appropriately express yourself without offending someone else's sensibilities.

My personal standard is: if my mom was standing over my shoulder and reading what I have to say, would she have an issue with it? (That generally works for me. )

Like JAM said, it has to do with maturity and common sense!

[theta sig agd]

I agree it is a maturity issue. And I dont think an "internet" policy is going to do much about stopping inappropriate behavior online.
It would be too hard to prove since everyone judges for themselves what is right for themselves.

I would just talk to her and see if she realizes she is making her sisters look bad. Maybe she just hasnt looked at it in that manner?? Good luck!