My chapter's rush...

I wasn't really sure whether or not I should even post this, but since you all are wonderful people I had a feeling that you would lend your ears!

Last night was our bid night, and we extended bids to six girls. Spring rush numbers are generally smaller, and it turns out our sorority got the largest number of girls.

However, there is one girl who I'm kind of worried about. She made it to all rush events, and we all got a chance to meet her. Generally, this girl is friendly and sociable. However, it was at an unofficial event where I witnessed something that is even too inappropriate to discuss on this board. Her actions were witnessed not only by myself, but a lot of my sisters.

Since then her attitudes during rush started to change. I began to question whether or not she was "fake" at the beginning. The biggest blow to my chapter, in my opinion, was the fact that she did not come to our Preference Ceremony. To me, being invited to Preference is an honor and privilege. I had not really disclosed my opinions of her to my sisters. Whatever I felt was expressed when it came time to vote her in/out.

So, imagine my dismay and shock to see this girl at our Bid Night! I could tell that other sisters were in shock also. When asked why she didn't attend Preference the night before, she blurted "my roommate and I got piss drunk and I couldn't wake up in time". Her indiscretion and her foul language (in front of our chapter advisor and leadership advisor, I might add) is really making me wonder WHY and HOW this girl was extended a bid.

Some of my sisters and I discussed the issue after our event and I discovered that they too gave her mediocre and below average ratings. I have a feeling she's joining our sorority for the wrong reasons, her brother being in a fraternity and corrupting her mind with negative things being one of them, and I don't know if our President and Recruitment chair really know what's going on, but I have a feeling I'm going to have to talk about this further with them before Oral Pledge Service takes place next week.

Quantity vs. Quality--I think quantity won this time. I am very proud of my fraternity, but already this girl has raised questions about our reputation by other Greeks--and she hasn't even started pledging yet! Do you think that I'm right to feel this way? Help!!!

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*I'm an Alpha Gam...Yes I am, Yes I am!*

[Billy Optimist]

Yes, I think you are right to feel how you do. My advice to you would be to pull her aside for a "little chit-chat" about her behaivors. And then maybe try to teach her what it really means to be a member. You seem like a good role model, so maybe you could straighten her out. You never know, she might turn out to be one of your best memebers.

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Once in every lifetime, you'll know what life is. Oh I need you, you need me, oh my darling, don't you see? The Young Ones. Darling we're The Young Ones. The Young Ones. Shouldn't be afraid! To live. To love. There's a song to be sung. 'Cause we may not be The Young Ones for very long!!!

[Lil_G]

You have every right to feel this way. Your organization is an extension of yourself, it's a collective representative of each of the members involved. So when a new individual comes along that may damage your reputation you take personal offense to that.

I can relate, there were a couple guys in my group that i had turn down because they didn't really project the type of image i wanted others to see us as.

You have to do what's best for the organization. Rejecting this person may cause friction, but in the end you'll be glad you stuck with your values and your sorority will be stronger because of it.

[KSig RC]

Always quality over quantity - in no way should you have to worry about this in your own organization. It can't hurt to ask about the bid, talk to the girl about it yourself, or raise a question about it at chapter. Honestly, it's not worth the possible reprocussions that may come from just rolling with whatever might happen . . . whether it just be her embarrassing you or your chapter, or anything more serious. You're not only right to feel this way, you would be totally in the right to take some sort of action to ensure this young lady will contribute positively to the organization. After all, ideally that's the entire point behind bidding, right? Making sure that the potential member will make a positive contribution to the organization?

[mccoyred]

I was reading your post. My chapter went through something similar but we DID NOT extend an invitation to this woman.

How on earth did this girl receive a bid when her inappropriate behavior was witnessed by several chapter members including your advisors? Not to get into your business, but what happened when you discussed her behavior at vote time? Is there something about this girl that is so overwhelming that her behavior could be overlooked? Just wondering

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MCCOYRED
Mu Psi '86
BaltCo Alumnae

Dynamic...Salient...Temperate...Since 1913

Thanks so much for replying, you guys.

I really don't know why she was extended a bid. To be honest, there's nothing exemplary about her that would make us overlook her behavior and attitude, but then again, that's just my opinion. Her head's been filled with the stereotypes plaguing the Greeks--much of which has been a result of her brother's experiences in his fraternity.

She gets along very well my sisters, but sometimes I think that things get too far. When I was pledging I knew that I would always have to be on my best behavior regardless of where I was--whether it was an AGD event or an off-campus unofficial function, I knew that it was unheard of to do the things she's been doing.

I don't live on campus, so I really don't know what goes on in the dorms. What saddens me is that some of my sisters think that what she's doing is okay.

Her actions so far have led me to believe that this girl is ALREADY thinking that she's an AGD.

I'm meeting with my Prez tonight to see what can be done, so I'll keep you guys posted.

Again, thanks for reading. Yall are SO COOL!

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*I'm an Alpha Gam...Yes I am, Yes I am!*

[angelic81]

She was only given a bid right? There is still time to watch her attitude and if it doesn't change.. you could always depledge her.. I know that is sort of an extreme, but my sorority did have to do the same thing when a simular issue arose. Talk it over with your president or whom ever is in charge of membership.... though never discuss it openly with other members or at chapter, because that is slander.

[33girl]

OohTeenyWahine,

She didn't show her thong to the president of the university, did she? (OK....the horse is now officially dead.)

Who counts your votes? Is it an advisor or an active sister? (If that's confidential info, never mind.) I think the thing that happens sometimes is people are too easy in their voting, and they think "well, if someone else has a real problem with her they'll rate her low." But then everyone thinks that same thing, and voila, the girl ends up with a bid.

If you have 1/3 or more of your sisters asking "whaaaaa!" something fishy might have happened.

mccoyred - I know that our nationals told us once that we were not supposed to discuss the girls out loud because that is hazing. We're just supposed to vote them low. I don't know what you're supposed to do if you see Susie Rushee dealing crack on the street. We used to be able to "no" vote someone during rush if we had MAJOR problems with them. 3 no votes kept you from getting a bid. I don't think that is allowed anymore, however.

[AlphaChiGirl]

Something very similar to this happened to my chapter, as well. If you'd like to disuss, feel free to email (in my profile).

Just a quick update:

I did meet with our Prez tonight and she reassured me that I had every reason to feel the way I did, and she also did mention that some other sisters have expressed their concerns about her.

33girl, to answer your question, the votes are counted by our Recruitment Chair, Chapter Advisor and Leadership Consultant.

What our President is going to do is meet with our VPMD and Leadership Consultant to try and find a way to address the situation to her. So basically they're giving her one last chance to shape up. Apparently there has been discussion going on about her since bid night, so her actions were noticed by those in charge. Our pledge service begins on Tuesday, so they'll meet with her some time before then and from what I understand she'll have the opportunity to choose whether or not to remain or leave.

I hope this works out. I'll update again on Tuesday!

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*I'm an Alpha Gam...Yes I am, Yes I am!*

Well, tonight was our Pledge Service, and the Exec. Council voted to keep her. I do know that the situation was addressed to her and I've noticed that she's been making an effort these past few days. We had a Valentines Mixer on Saturday, and I was impressed by her behavior--totally the opposite of how she was like last week. I think she's learned how to be more discreet about things, and I'm glad that things are working out well so far.



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*I'm an Alpha Gam...Yes I am, Yes I am!*

[Billy Optimist]

I'm glad things are going better. Just know that everything will work out in the end.

[AXO Alum]

I don't know how she got a bid either from the sound of it -- our fraternity has a chapter relations and standards board for this type of issue - does AGD not have this kind of system? It seems that it should be presented to the board, as opposed to just a few sisters, since the board is considered to be confidential and just without compromising any sister or new member.

I'm confused where you said she thinks she's already an AGD -- is her bid still up in the air or what? The reason this confused me is when we extend a bid to a new member, she is an Alpha Chi Omega...actually she has all the rights and privileges to membership aside from not being initiated yet. So I guess I just wanted to clarify whethere or not your bid process has been completely fulfilled.

Keep us posted and feel free to email me to discuss further info - as an advisor (including rush so I was actually involved in bid extensions, votes, etc.) I have just about seen it all Good luck!