Thread spinoff: Recuitment Infraction

ThielGirlie · #1 07-12-2002, 12:06 AM

I posted a question in the last post about recruitment infraction, but I don't think it was read. Here's my situation:

I've been talking to a lot of my guy friends in a certain fraternity about joining a certain sorority (the two orgs are very close, and the sorority's MOTY is always from that fraternity, etc) . I hang out a lot with the guys, and I know a few of the girls from the sorority. During the summer, a couple of my guy friends gave me the screen names of some of the girls, and likewise they gave them my sn. I'm getting along great with the girls I'm talking to, and we have a lot in common. We keep the topic away from rush, except for the fact that I'm interested in rush. Even the one girl said she can't directly tell me when this one XYZ party (before C.O.B.) is going to be, but I'm invited, and is going to let my fraternity friend know, and he will tell me (I guess to steer clear of any infractions.)

Anybody see any infractions that I can't see? I appreciate any input!

dggirly · #2 07-12-2002, 12:29 AM

What is considered an infraction can be different at every school. I know at my school we are allowed to get people interested in DG over the summer there are even days designated by the school were we sit on campus with tables out about our sorority. However once silence starts, usually the friday before rush starts, we are not allowed to talk to PNM's outside our house about anything. You are not supposed to ignore a PNM if they say something to you, or if you have a class with a girl who is rushing but we are not supposed to talk to them about anything really.

I would say that at my school if this was happening, because rush is so far away it is fine, but if it got closer to rush week it could get the house an infraction, esspecially if the houses have silence. If you are really worried about the house getting an infraction. Don't talk about rush at all. Hang out with them and be friends with them. They can not get an infraction by being friends with a girl who is going to go through rush. Well at least at my school you can't. We have a couple girls going through rush this fall that are already friends with some of the girls in our house. These PNM go out with us anfd hang out with us just like if they were not going to rush in the fall. All we have to do is when silence starts remember not to talk to them about anything besides school really. I would find out the rules of the greek system on your campus, because they could be different then the rules panhellenic has on my campus. I hope that helped!!

ThielGirlie · #3 07-12-2002, 12:59 AM

Thanks a lot, dggirlie. It helped out a lot. I don't think my school is that strict, and knowing fall is informal for us, I'm not sure what the rules would be for that. I was just wondering if there was any NPC guidelines. I might just call the head of greek life at my school and ask her what she thinks.

I just don't want to get myself or the sorority into any situation that would hurt me as a PNM or them as a house. Thanks for the help

shadokat · #4 07-12-2002, 09:39 AM

I think that this is fine. I mean, it would be one thing if they discouraged you from going through recruitment at all and just going to their COB, but you are allowed to make friends with women in the sorority

And besides, informal rush is a free for all of sorts, so there aren't many rules there.

kristiAZD · #5 07-20-2002, 11:12 PM

If a few of the girls tell you you are invited, that is not an infraction. Sororities will send out invitations, but they also put up signs to let others that did not get an invite a chance to get to know the sisters and vise-versa. If a sister at anytime tells you you are guaranteed a bid, that is a major infraction. Sororities are not allowed to guarantee bids at all whatsoever, and it means nothing for one girl to tell you you are guaranteed because the whole chapter votes on everyone. Beware for anyone that tells you you are GUARANTEED....that is the real infraction.

CarolinaDG · #6 07-21-2002, 12:03 AM

I just wanted to re-iterate what the AZD said... be wary of anyone guaranteeing you a bid. Last year, I was in a similar situation before rush, where a girl that I was introduced to by a guy was talking to me, but making sure to stear clear of anything specific about rush. She basically had guaranteed me a bid. I ended up going DG (I'll leave out the other little details in between) but this girl wasn't DG. Another good friend of mine from high school was Kappa, and she told me things like, "Make sure to give Kappa a chance" and "don't be nervous" sorts of things... and that's fine. She also IM'd me the day before the silence started to let me know that she couldn't talk to me anymore. The week of rush is really hard, too, because these girls CANNOT talk to you AT ALL!!! It's dirty rushing, and a serious, SERIOUS fine. So, just beware that these girls that are your friends now can't talk to you that week... and they aren't doing it to be mean.

pollywogg23 · #7 07-21-2002, 03:09 AM

You'll probably notice that as rush gets closer you sosrority friends will probably stop talking to you. Hopefully the E-mail to let you know why, but Rush infractions are a huge deal, and I'm pretty certain that they are probably following the rule to the letter, like they may be able to talk about the party, but not invite anyone until such and such a date, it depends on your Pan-HEl. I wouldn't worry about any infractions until close to the start of school, say a week or two before.

ThielGirlie · #8 07-21-2002, 11:25 AM

Thanks for the advice, guys.

Being we have informal in the fall, things really arn't as strict as they are in the spring. I'm making sure to be very cautious about the whole "bid gurantee" and "I could really see you as my sister" thing. Only about 6 weeks to informal, so I'm just going to wait it out and see what the results are. Thanx again!

PhiMuNursie · #9 07-21-2002, 11:49 AM

Maybe I'm just reading this wrong, but why are you looking for infractions from this chapter? While dirty rush is awful and happens a lot more than we like to think, since the girls aren't telling you they want to be your Big, or have already made you a paddle or in any way making you uncomfortable, why are you seeking an infraction for them?

Sororities know the limits and what the rules are and I'm pretty sure you'll know when they've crossed the line based on what they say to you ("you're my new little", "can't wait to see you on Bid Day", "Our first social is....and I have the perfect outfit for you") Other than that just hang out with them till silence and see if you wanna join their chapter. Don't seek out infractions, they probably wouldn't like that anyway...

If I'm completely off then I'm sorry, but I just feel like you are talking to them waiting to nail them for something innocent or something wrong. Either way, I wish you the best of luck.

Tara
I have a Phi Mu castle...

ThielGirlie · #10 07-21-2002, 03:22 PM

The only reason I brought it up is that i saw another post about a girl hanging out with a girl from a sorority that she was rushing, and everyone on the board thought it was an infraction. I just wanted to know if I was doing anything wrong by talking to these girls and becoming friends with them before rush (and I'm not just talking to them JUST because they are in that sorority. They're really great girls.) All I wanted to know is if I was doing anything wrong, not the girls. I know the girls would not step outside the set boundaries, but I wanted to make sure I wasn't stepping into any place I shouldn't be.

PhiMuNursie: I can understand why you thought the way you did... but I just want to make sure everything goes smoothly. I have already had one bad rush experiance with a Rho Chi that told me what her letters were (not a big thing in my school), but then she told me I should really consider that chapter.

I guess she thought I knew nothing about greek life, and didn't think I would notice that was wrong.

That's why I dropped out of rush my freshman year. I just want to make sure everything goes well this time around.

PhiMuNursie · #11 07-21-2002, 09:37 PM

TheilGirl: I'm sorry you had a bad Rush experience last time around. I know it could be discouraging, and congratulate you for giving it a second try! I hope this time things go better and you find your perfect Greek home. Keep us posted!

Tara
I have a Phi Mu castle...

EagleChick19 · #12 07-26-2002, 04:16 PM

ThielGirlie: Definitely keep us posted!! Good Luck!