Why does all the boy problems happen to me?

binks · #1 07-02-2002, 03:57 AM

hey everyone in greekland!

What an eventful evening for me!!! Why do i have the luck i have? short beginning --- Me meet Boy through firneds, everyone is happy since we hit it off so well. We have been "talking" or dating for three weeks today. i'm leaving to go to out of state for my Brothers wedding today too, but i will have a computer to e-mail on, but that is besides the point. We had plans to go to Dinner, but he had a work dinner, so he called and cancelled that morning, i understood. He told me he would call me later. 10:30 rolls around, not call so i call him, no answer. I had to go to finish running errands so i dropped off the present i got him when my sisters and i went outlet shopping( he collects bears-- so i got him a little beanie one cause it was cute) Now, i know some people think it's too early for gifts, but i'm one of those people who sees something that someone will like i will get it for them. i got two cards for him when i was at the storee and wrote two sweet note, one for when he came home and one for later on in the week when he was lonely. when i get ready to go to bed i call him again to say goodnight like we do if we don't send the night together. he calls me back about an hour later to say thanks and to tell me he was thinking of me and he asked if i could come over to see him b/f i went to bed, so i did. I get there and the Door is locked. call the house his Exgirlfriend answered. She was like Chad is in the bathroom. So i get her to open the Door. He comes out and kisses me on my head and hugs me. he then get sick for drinking too much, the Ex and i both are trying to take care of him, and he passes out. i just leave i have to be up at 6am, but i'm really in the mood to sleep right now. the Ex made a comment about having lunch with his mom and him and their best friend IN FRONT OF ME!!! My sorority sisters already want to kick her @$$, but i have told them to behave.
Cause a week earlier she showed up at a bar that we were at and hung all over him infront of me!! He says it is over b/t them it ended like 8 months ago, but they hang out with some of the same people and go to the same bars.( i can't forget they were Friends with benefits up till three days b/f we met) i really don't go out that much cause of my disorder and when i drink with my meds i get VERYVERY ill, and it is pointless to me to do that. i had to grow out of my party stage early. He also Never wants me to hang out with his friends( i went to high school with some and have never really liked them, cause they were @$$es) We do go out but with friends who know me before and i am friends with.

I just Don't know what to think? i know we are not "offically" together, but we spend either the night together or the day and we talk on the phone several times a day. We tell each other we like each other and stuff. I just don't know what to think about these. i just need some input from some people not in the situation.

NewGirl · #2 07-02-2002, 09:45 PM

you arent alone with the boy problems..
im me if u want to chat.
Aprissy

TigerGirl52 · #3 07-02-2002, 10:09 PM

I feel ya on the boy problems too...seems like I get more than my share sometimes. PM me if you ever need to vent.

Allison

Thrillhouse · #4 07-02-2002, 10:27 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by TigerGirl52
I feel ya on the boy problems too...seems like I get more than my share sometimes. PM me if you ever need to vent.

Allison

I have had more than my share of girl problems, lol

TigerGirl52 · #5 07-02-2002, 11:09 PM

Yeah...I remember the conversations!!!!!

Rudey · #6 07-03-2002, 02:28 AM

I hear that whenever girls have problems they're supposed to watch Oprah talk with Dr. Phil and eat mint milanos...so that might help.

And if you want serious advice, why don't you just tell him how you feel? If you want a guy that cares about how you feel, then his answer will confirm whether he is the right guy for you.

-Rudey
--I hate Dr. Phil

NewGirl · #7 07-03-2002, 07:03 AM

i tried the "tell him how u feel", right before he left my house and never came back. we dont usually fight like this, in all of our two years and three months.
thanks for the dr. phil message! that was SOO cute!
Love
Ashley

valkyrie · #8 07-03-2002, 12:20 PM

Binks, I think that unless and until two people have "the Talk" where they both agree to be in an exclusive relationship and date only each other, each person is free to do whatever he or she wants. As it seems that you and Chad have not had that conversation, he is, IMHO, doing nothing wrong by hanging out with his ex, and doing whatever else he is doing with her. Just because you and he are hanging out and having fun does not mean that you have a commitment to each other -- unless you have explicity stated that you are not going to see other people. I also don't think that you have any reason to be hating on the ex, unless and until you and Chad are in an exclusive relationship and she is doing something to interfere with that.

I do think it is a problem that he has been disrespectful to you -- inviting you over and then not opening the door, inviting you over when there's another girl there, etc. I also think that it is a big red flag that he doesn't want you hanging out with his friends -- there is usually a reason for this, and it's not a good thing.

If I were in your place, I would think about what I want with this guy -- a relationship, friendship with benefits, someone to hook up with once in a while, or nothing, and then figure out how to make that happen. Good luck, and keep us posted.

binks · #9 07-04-2002, 09:34 PM

hey greekland!!

Well, i have sometime to "cool off." I do agree with you valkryie. But you must understand that i wrote my post right when i got home since i didn't have anyone to vent too since it was like 2 am. i think this time away is helping realize some things about the situation. i think we are going to have to have a talk when i get back, just so we know what is going on b/t us, i think that is the biggest problem. We both have admitted to the facted that we liked each other, but the differences b/t us may create some problems. One reason i don't hang out wiht most of his friends, plain and simple i don't like them! they are still hung up on high school it's been a few years and i honestly don't think they have changed. i talked to him earlier today, even though i am in roam in my phone just caused i miss him. i really don't know what will happen, but i must go, i jsut wanted to tell valkryie that i agree, i was just venting cause it was a strange situation and just ended to vent.

greeklovin'