R.A.'s in freshman dorms?

phikappapsiman · #1 06-21-2002, 12:41 AM

At my school, rush for freshmen isn't until Spring Quarter, so all freshmen/women are required to live on campus in either all-frosh or four-class dorms. Does anyone have any stories about their R.A.'s (Resident Advisor) in their dorms? I had four R.A.'s (two men, two women), and both of the guys were always hitting on the freshmen women! It made all of the freshmen guys mad because it was just like we were on "Felicity"!!! We didn't need a Noel in our dorm! There should be rules about that! Did this happen to anyone else? It may sound fun and sexy to some, but it is definitely not fair to the students and parents who trust the upperclassmen to be responsible adults.

josh8o · #2 06-21-2002, 05:55 AM

my first ra let us do what ever the hell we wanted...he would break the rules with us. it was fun

one of the guys in my house was a ra this year...he got fired for having a keg party for his floor--lol.

aephi alum · #3 06-21-2002, 09:05 AM

We had graduate resident tutors - a grad student (and his/her spouse if applicable) living in an apartment - one for each floor or entry of each dorm. They were supposed to be there to counsel people, help resolve disputes, make sure people weren't breaking laws or school rules (esp. alcohol), organize study breaks, etc. They got free rent and a stipend (nice deal when you're a poor starving grad student

).

The school picked out the potential GRT's, then each floor/entry's members interviewed candidates and picked their GRT - so we had some say in who we got (say, someone who liked cats so he wouldn't report someone's cat

- we were not allowed pets).

My freshman year, my floor's GRT was writing his thesis and was totally unavailable. In everyone's opinion he should have resigned... After that, we had a very nice couple. The advantage of a couple is that one or the other of them is generally available... if the student has to go write a thesis or study for their qualifying exams, the spouse is generally around.

aephi alum · #4 06-21-2002, 09:15 AM

I just remembered a great story an acquaintance of mine at Trinity told me... (why do you always remember these things *after* you hit "submit reply"...

)

Freshmen at Trinity live in freshman dorms, coed by floor (I think). Each floor has an RA, typically a senior. All frosh dorms are dry (not sure if the RA's can have booze, but the frosh sure can't), and one of the RA's responsibilities is to enforce that rule.

Despite the ban on alcohol, trash-can punch was quite popular.

One evening, my acquaintance and his roommate decided to have a party in their room. They had a few friends over and made up some trash-can punch. So everyone's sitting around enjoying their drinks when BAM! BAM! BAM!

One of the guys looks out through the peep hole and sees the RA standing there with 2 big guys behind him! Naturally, the guys all figure they're busted.

The RA yells, "Open up! We know you have trash-can punch in there!"

The guys all turn white.

Then the RA yells, "We want some!"

So the guys let them in, gave them some punch (the RA and his friends had even come prepared with cups), and the RA didn't write them up.

Peaches-n-Cream · #5 06-21-2002, 07:51 PM

R.A.s were not supposed to date people on their floors. It was frowned upon, but it happened. I remember a junior RA and a sophomore on his floor fell in love. They were together for many years. As long as it isn't an abuse of power, then it's ok.

Kevin · #6 06-22-2002, 09:43 AM

R.A.'s dating women on their floors? I don't see anything wrong with it.

All's fair in love and war.

AlphaChiGirl · #7 06-22-2002, 10:51 AM

A "good" RA/RC/JA/what have you has signed an agreement--and will follow it--agreeing not to pursue an "inappropriate" relationship with a student, whether that is being a drinking partner, best friend, or lover. Maybe your schools were different, but our school is small, and therefore the counselors (we call them counselors instead of advisers--their job isn't to narc on the residents) had a much more influential role on our daily activities. If word got around from a student who felt alienated because their counselor had pursued an inappropriate relationship with a resident, they would have been out so fast. Most people take their jobs seriously, because for many it's free room and board in addition to a stipend. In my dorm freshman year, one of my counselors resigned because she wanted to pursue a relationship with a girl on my floor, but she left the job BEFORE they started dating. I think "Felicity" gave a lot of hormonally-raging buffoons the idea that if they went into residential life, they'd be surrounded by lots of young girls willing to date them.

If you are soooo sure that this is the person you want to date and you can't wait, do everyone else (your co-counselors, supervisors, and residents) a favor and resign. Any RA who hits on his/her students to the point where the other residents/advisers are uncomfortable should be stopped.

As I step off my soapbox, I have to mention that I loved my Residential Counselor. He is a cool, open guy, but the lines were still there--even though they're blurrier here at Brown than at other schools. He didn't have to narc on us, so maybe that's why everyone got along so well with him. I mean, we'd see him at bars and parties and it wasn't a big deal. He's a good friend--now. We still keep in touch, and I see him once in a while. I became a counselor the next year, and had a pretty good experience. During our training, they stressed the consequences of pursuing "inappropriate relationships". You can be friends with your residents (most counselors here are only in charge of about 30-45), but common sense would tell one where to draw the line.

ShaedyKD · #8 06-22-2002, 12:32 PM

My RA in my freshman year was totally awesome. I moved in a whole week ahead of time to rush, and was still a little nervous about it. My RA is a Beta Theta Pi and he totally encouraged me, and told me what a great experience Greek life is. All through the week he would ask me how rush was going, and what sororities I liked, and he never gave me any biased opinions on any of the groups. He also had a serious girlfriend, which put a halt to any "Felicity complexes," except for my one suitemate who tried, but I guess they just ended up being friends.
My sophomore year RA was gay, yet very affectionate to all the ladies, calling us "love" and "princess" and "sweetness" all the time. Kind of wierd...needless to say, I tried to stay away from him!

LeslieAGD · #9 06-22-2002, 12:57 PM

On my campus, the freshman dorms are co-ed by floor. Girls floors had girl RAs and guys floors had guy RAs. I don't even remember ever seeing the guy RAs around the building when I was a freshman, let alone them flirting with/dating the freshman girls.

KSig RC · #10 06-23-2002, 02:38 AM

I was an RA of a coed floor last year (freshman and sophomore), and will be again next year.

It's the easiest job in the world, if you don't act like a total tool (aka hook up with your residents, or be a complete ass to them when they screw up). I was pretty "lax" you could say - but my residents kept it to themselves, and no one had any problems, which is sort of how it should be.

I wouldn't worry too much about senior guys jacking away the younger girls from you, phikappapsiman - from my personal experience, it doesn't happen often, for a variety of reasons.

Optimist Prime · #11 06-24-2002, 11:35 AM

One of my brothers was RA but got fired because of having sex with a student. Don't know if she lived on his floor or not though.

Optimist Prime · #12 06-24-2002, 11:38 AM

Okay, I forgot my story. ONe night after um...partying I came home to my dorm room. I left the hall door open and went to the bathroom. When I came out of the bathroom I fell into the wall and thought it wanted to fight so I punched it. I could tell it would hurt if I hadn't been partying so much so I started kicking the door. My RA lived across the hall from and she was looking at me the whole time. She was Like "um...can you close your door?" I pased out from laufing.

Optimist Prime · #13 06-24-2002, 11:38 AM

Okay, I forgot my story. ONe night after um...partying I came home to my dorm room. I left the hall door open and went to the bathroom. When I came out of the bathroom I fell into the wall and thought it wanted to fight so I punched it. I could tell it would hurt if I hadn't been partying so much so I started kicking the door. My RA lived across the hall from and she was looking at me the whole time. She was Like "um...can you close your door?" I pased out from laufing.