Should she be upset?????

[1ofthefirst]

A friend of mine, who is presently in a serious relationship,

received a card in the mail from a guy that liked her. I don't know

if she used to have something going on with him in the past, but

she says she didn't. Anyway, she gets the card and puts it into

her purse to avoid any conflict between them and forgot to throw

it away. She doesn't like the guy who sent it to her, has nothing

to hide, nor did she have plans of calling him. She just wanted to

avoid any conflict between her and her boyfriend because he is a

slightly jealous person. One day her boyfriend claims he was

putting a love note into her purse and found the card the guy

sent her. He has never put a love note in her purse

before, all of a sudden he puts one there. Should she be upset

that her boyfriend went into her purse or is she at fault? What

do you think?

[CkretCrush8]

Why didn't she just throw it away to begin with; therefore, she wouldn't be in the situation that she is in now...or why didn't she just show and explain the situation to her current boyfriend. If it wasn't the deep and she wasn't/isn't interested in this other guy, then frankly, she and her current boyfriend need to talk about it and move on. If he is sooo upset that he can't realize that she is with him now and the other guy doesn't matter, then maybe they shouldn't be together. Jealousy breaks up all relationship. He needs to get over that and recognize that he has her and the other guy doesn't. On the other hand, she should be upset because, no matter the reason, he went through her stuff. But then happy because he was doing something "special" for her. This could have been something to further ignite the flame of love and passion that he had/has for her. IF they are truly in love, they will overcome this situation..if not, they don't belong together.

[AKA_Monet]

Let's flip the script a bit:

I am a jealous woman... Just like God is jealous --There are no others before me...

Maybe that's why I'm single, now...

So if some skanky girl sent my man a Bluemountain Arts type card for whatever reason, and he put it in his coat or pants pocket, and oneday, while I was picking up his clothes to do the laundry and went through his pockets for that one red sock and found the ^*&)%^$ card, then there would be some s'plaining to do...

Since I am a little neurotic, I personally would always be thinking in the back of my mind about some heifer sending my man ANY TYPE of cards outside of his Mama... I'd be wondering if there was something goin' on with this other chick. And if it's a figment of his imagination, then I'd be wondering how did he get a card? What mailbox did he pick it up from? And if he has a game face and bought the card himself to intentionally set it off, the what sick F would DO sum chit like that to me

The way I see it is, if I wanna be played and feel bad about it afterward, then why the hell do I need another player to force it on me? I can do a better job treating myself chitty enuf without some wacko heppin' me. Leave well enuf alone!!! Besides if a "man" wannabe pimpin' and I wanna deal with his punk ass, then at least I knew the job was dangerous before I took it. And I cain't blame nobody else for sumthin' I chose to walk into...

I don't care how much explaining one does, IMHO , I think that if one is in a serious relationship, he or she doesn't let the "past" intervene without provacation... Chicky shoulda thrown the card away--even if it was littering... And if she was skurred to throw it away 'cuz the sender woulda sed somethin' or what the jealous boyfriend woulda said, then she has got more problems that go beyond infidelity...

No woman should be fearful of what some "man" will say or do to her!!! Fear of what some fool might say or do to you is called domestic violence, stalking and harassment...

[thesweetestone]

Don't go in my purse. Don't put anything in it . Don't take anything out of it . If it has my name on it, it's mine. Don't read it. You won't have anything to be upset about.

[Esperanza03]

I agree with Ckret about throwing it away. Its all sweet and everything that the guy likes her but if she's in a serious relationship like she says, I don't understand the need for her to keep the card. How long was she going to keep it in her purse? Did she take it out and look at it everyday to feel special? I understand that sometimes when you're in a relationship, it makes you feel good when other men are interested in you, but if you have something good at home, then you should feel appreciated enough not to need to cling to the card. I think she should just be honest with her man and explain the situation, but also let her man know that her fidelity lies with him. Next time, get rid of it.

[Swamp Thang]

He shouldn't be in her purse... bottom line... If he was just sticking a card/letter in their, he wouldn't have found the note. That negro was looking through her purse.

My girl tells me when a dude comes unto her or sends her a letter or whatever... but, I'm also very secure. If dude is so insecure that she feels that she can't tell him about stuff like past lovers sending her a letter.., then she might need to re-evaluate her choice of mate.

[Professor]

That's it! Stay out of my damn wallet and I won't touch your purse - - - In fact, don't look under my bed to count to condoms - lol!

Seriously, if you don't have trust then you don't have anything. I could care less if Constance (my future wife) talks to or visits her ex. I know that she belongs to me. In fact, the ex's parents invited her to visit for the weekend and she said she would if she could bring me I am too damn old to be with someone and still wondering if she cheats. Sounds like to me somebody needs to move on.

Originally posted by thesweetestone
Don't go in my purse. Don't put anything in it . Don't take anything out of it . If it has my name on it, it's mine. Don't read it. You won't have anything to be upset about.

[bluz4]

i think the card should not have been in her purse. i am in a serious relationship and my boyfriend and i have been through several arguments about items left around by mistake. i was looking through one of his photo albums and his ex's photo was in the back, tho i didnt flip out, i was pissed off because i felt like it shouldnt have been there. but i have made my own mistakes: once he was looking for paper and found cards that i had put in my drawer of an ex of mine back at school.

i think its ok to hold on to keepsakes, mine are in my room at my mom's home. they are simply keepsakes of times gone by but times that have taught me things and hold meaning. but i dont think they belong in my purse or in the apartment i share with him.

i think women and men should be mindful of each other's feelings and think about how they would feel if the roles were reversed.

[strobelitehoney]

Originally posted by Professor
That's it! Stay out of my damn wallet and I won't touch your purse - - - In fact, don't look under my bed to count to condoms - lol!

Seriously, if you don't have trust then you don't have anything. I could care less if Constance (my future wife) talks to or visits her ex. I know that she belongs to me. In fact, the ex's parents invited her to visit for the weekend and she said she would if she could bring me I am too damn old to be with someone and still wondering if she cheats. Sounds like to me somebody needs to move on.

forget counting condoms....

Don't you know smart women check the serial number on the back of them now. LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *yes there is a serial number on the wrapper*

I feel like this, don't tell me how many you got, and I won't keep track. ha ha ha

And I like a man with your attitude. "I Know that she belongs to me."

I am so sick and tired stoking folks ego's because they are insecure with themselves. *is it just me, and will it ever end?*

Don't get me started early this morning.