Have I been selfish?

damasa · #1 04-25-2002, 07:10 PM

So, I'm not sure who all read about my dilema with the local that I belong to. I posted it a few months back, I guess this is just a little update. So, when the idea of trying to reform this place came about, it kind of picked up, then died away again. Talks of going national came around, and some were interested, and some were sickened by the question. A few of us started to realize that we might have to break off of the local in order to go national, because not all of the chapter wanted to nationalize. In a matter of days I have observed a new change. Many people now also want to go national. I won't mention the national we are taling with, but it has been "more than discussed" if you will.
So, since sometime yesterday it seems like many of our alum started to just get involved and to be honest, i'm puzzled by it. We haven't had much alumni interaction with the chapter for sometime, and just two weeks ago our milwaukee area alum board dissolved. Well, other alumni members decided to take it over and bring it back. These are the alum that have been mass attacking our listservs with emails on their thoughs and opinions.

I never really took into consideration how some of them felt because I thought that if they weren't around that they didn't care. Well, after reading some of these emails and understanding how busy some of these gentlemen are, I am ashamed of myself. I have been pretty depressed today because of this, and other things, and I don't know if not thinking about how busy some of these guys were made a difference in how much they cared about the chapter. I've talked to all the founding fathers and they are very upset about this, and what I thought I wanted to do is now very uncertain...

FuzzieAlum · #2 04-25-2002, 07:57 PM

If your group was meant to stay local by your founders, then I can understand they are upset if you are considering going National. At the same time, if one wishes to retain an influence over anything, one must stay involved. If they don't support you when things aren't going so well - if they don't even want to meet with each other - how valuable are they as support? If they only speak up they they're upset, they are losing their right to have a vote, so to speak.

If you go National, you probably will lose the support of many alums. On the other hand, you will gain the support of a whole new group of alums - surely there are local alums of whatever this National is you are considering. Make sure it's a trade off you want to make, however.

IowaHawkeye · #3 04-25-2002, 09:21 PM

i think you need to take a step back and look at the "big picture" not just the here and now. are these alum just coming out of the woodwork because there is a threat that the brotherhood of Phi Sigma Delta may be no more? Or are they stepping up, assuming the leadership role becuase the former leaders, the milwaukee area alum board stepped down and paved the way for them? ARe they willing to help rebuild your chapter, fix the problems that are there with the current brothers and help ensure that they don't happen in the future? You have been through so much with the men in your chapter and the alum this year... you've been there for each other through bad and good. No matter what happens your brotherhood in PSD will transcend going national - b/c you will always share the ritual and bonds. Have you been selfish? No. Something told you, alerted you that your brothers and your fraternity were failing you - that they weren't being the people they should be. you've told me about the situation, and you can't force people to care or want to turn the chapter around - you can lead by example and hope they follow - and you know i think youre the best person for that job - you are a tremendous leader and brother - you would also be a great leader in colonizing a new national fraternity. there's nothing wrong with letting the past, that you can't change, go, and moving onto to bigger and better things. they'll always be your brothers regardless - and quite possibly, many of them could be your brothers in a new fraternity, if you chose that route.

LeslieAGD · #4 04-25-2002, 10:37 PM

I think FuzzieAlum and IowaHawkeye made excellent points. I just wanted to add that if you decide to go national, it doesn't have to take away from your local roots/traditions and what your founding fathers built. That can only happen if you let it. I think you should really look at why your chapter considered going national in the first place and what it would mean for your chapter with either outcome.

Optimist Prime · #5 04-25-2002, 11:29 PM

dude,
Wasn't Phi Simga Delta a part of a national?? If Im right in thinking this, then you aren't selfish for wanting to go national. YOu are doing what your founding fathers wanted. Those founding fathers were the curent alumni's founding fathers. You aren't being selfish. If these guys are so busy, why do they all of a sudden have time to flood server with emails? You're stepping up to be a leader when your chapter needs one, that is good. Go for it.

theta sig agd · #6 04-26-2002, 12:45 PM

In my opinion

...you should have the CHAPTER vote on wether they want to go National or not. If they dont then they wont if they do then they will. As for the Alum...they dont have to choose to affiliate with the national group if they dont want to , but if they are worried abotu losing identity, make it a point avoid that . Keep your chapter history alive with special ritual for your chapter. I know that there is a special place in one of our chapters hearts when there local affiliated with our group.

Just a thought

Tom Earp · #7 04-26-2002, 05:23 PM

In Starting my Local, it was with the intention of affiliation with a Major National!

But many Guys joned because it was something new and they could help build it! Many were from other Nationals on campus that got kicked out or were not happy with what they had.

Any and all of the Brothers of BX were allowed to become Members of LXA.

We still keep the History of BX even though short lived!

The Brothers of BX were very proud of what they did in teh begining. And all of us are still alive even after 37 years of the inseption!

We are all very Proud Members of LXA!
WE had the best of both worlds! We did something that is hard to do and we are members of a Great Greek Organization!

A National can do much more for your Chapter as a whole than a local can, but the local also has benefist on its own merit!

I sometimes Wonder if there would have been a BX National!

33girl · #8 04-26-2002, 08:21 PM

damasa - didn't you mention once that the school is making you (or, as they stay, STRONGLY ENCOURAGING as they hold the knife to your throat) go national? If so, there is nothing you can do, unless you want to be unrecognized by the school. If that is the case the alums shouldn't blame y'all for that.

You have NOT been selfish, that's for sure. As an alum, I don't buy this "I was too busy to know" bs especially in this day & age of email. The busiest person in the world, if they really care, can take time to send a 3 line email to the chapter periodically and see how things were going. The truth of the matter (and needless to say this excludes all the involved alumni here on GC) is that a lot of alums are perfectly content to go on thinking everything is fine, somehow contained in a time bubble and exactly how it was when they left, and then when 10 years later they find out otherwise they have cows. After I graduated, my collegiate sisters respected me and my opinions because I stayed involved. Would they, SHOULD they, show the same kind of respect to the alum who only shows up every 5 years to drink beer at homecoming? Hell, no.

You have a whole summer to get in touch with alums and find out their opinions. I can't tell you which way to go, but give everyone that last chance to say what they feel, and have the situation explained to them. If you don't get jack in the way of support, go forward. And if there are any repercussions, remind the alums that they chose you to be brothers because they trusted you with the future of the fraternity, whatever it may be.

LexiKD · #9 04-27-2002, 01:19 AM

It is a college group and those members make that decision.

It really depends on what you want to do and what is best for the group in that school system.

We went through the same type thing, women we have never even heard of were upset...I mean, how can they be? In the end, none of the alum that didn't go with us have any type of organization to their group or even tried to do a thing as the local. I mean sometimes the "big picture" is what drives the cause.

If alum wish not to go with the group vote then they can stay and regroup the local. They will always be alum to the local org it just will now be in their hands to plan alum events and such. This type thing happens all the time and they will have to deal with it.

You worry about your group and what is best!

Good Luck!