|
Funny Entertainment Awards
Some of you may have seen tese but they are hella funny and some on point:
>1. MOST OVERRATED ARTIST OF THE YEAR: Alicia Keys. I'm sorry but somebody
> >gotta say it! I'M SICK OF THIS FRAUD! Now, I'm not saying she's isn't
> >talented, but she's not THAT friggin' talented 5 Grammy's? Lauryn Hill
>won
>5
> >and Alicia can't carry Lauryn's tampon. And that Jr.High school piano
> >recital playing really pisses me off. Take Clive Davis (President/CEO of
>J
> >Records her label) out of the equation and she's just another neo-soul
> >wanna-be. Great marketing, cute face, and a hit song can fool us all. And
> >could she have at least gave India Arie some love at the Grammy's
> >considering how snubbed she was. No hating, just the facts! NO RUNNER UP!
> >
> >2. CAUGHT WITH YOUR PANTS DOWN AWARD: R. Kelly. You remind me of a
> >pedophile! What is really on ole boy's mind? Hey, some say it's debatable
> >whether or not it's him in the video but the mess don't look good
> >considering his track record. Now we know who the song "baby, baby, baby"
> >was for. It's a damn shame because he's too talented to be feeling on
>this
> >kind of booty. RUNNER UP: Blu Cantrell (Uh, you seen the pics! > >
> >3. HOODRAT SONG OF THE YEAR: "Any Other Night" Sharissa. Nae-Nae and
> >Shae-Shae nem think this is the most bomb song ever. I'm sorry but I
>don't
> >see anybody sweatin' Sharissa's behind so who cares if another nigga is
> >hittin' it. She reminds me of Mary J's ghetto, welfare receivin' section
>8
> >livin' niece. If you're in a car saying "hey, that's my jam!", you are
> >officially ghetto. RUNNER UP: "Feeling On Yo Booty" R. Kelly (He was
>clowned
> >earlier.)
> >
> >4. GHETTO COUPLE OF THE YEAR: Usher & Chili. It is ghetto when you drop
>your
> >baby-daddy producer who's written hits at the same label you're on to
>hook
> >up with a 10 years younger than you label mate who rolls in the same
>circle.
> >This has all the makings of
> >a bad black soap opera. Will Dallas Austin the famed producer and
>baby-daddy
> >have the last laugh or will Chili the baby mama drama diva marry young
>Usher
> >at his high school graduation??? Stay Tuned!! RUNNER UP: Natina Reed from
> >the group Blaque and
> >Kurupt (the rumor has it she's pregnant by Suge Knight, talk about
>ghetto!)
>
> >
> >5. MOST ANNOYING & HATED VIDEO SHOW HOST AWARD: A.J. from 106 & Park.
>First
>
> >things first, are those Predator braid/dreads his? He friggin' sucks!
>They
> >should let Free do all the talking!!! Uh no, they should get rid of his
> >trying too hard to fit in self and give her the show. He has no vibe and
> >totally ruins the chemistry by talking over Free all the time. Who's
>thing
> >did he suck to get that job? Oh, my bad, it's BET!!! No wonder?? RUNNER
>UP:
>
> >Cita (The 2nd most embarrassing thing bout us after Afroman.)
> >
> >6. WORST TRANSITION FROM SINGER TO ACTRESS: Mariah Carey. "Glitter" is
> >possibly one of the worst movies ever made. Even the BET awards won't
> >acknowledge this
> >film. Now the word is she's in another movie coming soon that has some
> >critics saying she'll redeem herself in the acting department. MC, it
>better
> >be an Oscar winning performance. RUNNER UP: Britney Spears (Did anybody
>but
>
> >14 year old white girls go see her flick?)
> >
> >7. WORST TRANSITION FROM RAPPER TO ACTOR: DMX. I thought this cat was
>gonna
>
> >be the next Tupac. Oops! Did you see "Exit Wounds"?? Was the nigga
>reading
> >from cue cards? Wil Smith and Ice Cube got every casting agent in
>Hollywood
>
> >skipping over the Morris Chestnut's and grabbing the first rapper with a
> >hit. DMX needs to go to the Queen Latifah/Mos Def School Of Acting For
> >Rappers. RUNNERS UP: P-Diddy & Snoop Dog ("Bones" is out on video now. Go
> >boycott it.)
> >
> >8. BORN WITHOUT A PERSONALITY AWARD: Joe. If Joe (as dope as he is) had
>half
> >of a personality he'd be as big if not bigger than an R.Kelly or a Brian
> >McKnight. But, he can't dance and he has no kind of vibe whatsoever. It's
> >sad because we all dig his music and there's a bunch of women who'd do
>him
> >but he's about as exciting to watch as a wet dish rag laying on the sink
> >while listening to Isiah Thomas talk about his career. RUNNER UP: Mya
>(She's
> >"Free" to bore the hell out of all of us)
> >
> >9. LABEL THAT FELL OFF: Cash Money Records. I think Juvenile jinxed the
> >label because as soon as he stopped showing up in Cash Money videos and
>let
>
> >ere' body know he had beef, they went south. (no pun intended) Better
>start
>
> >pawning all that platinum soon and ya'll can start with the teeth. Run
>Mac
> >10, run! RUNNER UP: Death Row (Just don't give Suge my email address
>please,
> >I'm begging you!)
> >
> >10. CAPTAIN SAVE-A-SONG: JaRule. Need a hit? Call JaRule! J-lo's album
>was
> >all but
> >forgotten until she hooked up with him. Fat Joe gotta hit out with him on
> >the hook and now Ashanti is about to blow up. This nigga's stock is
>rising
> >like a Vince Carter vertical. RUNNER UP: Missy (Have you seen her Reebok
> >commercials? Dope.)
> >
> >11. DISAPPEARED AND WE COULD CARE LESS AWARD: Sisqo. Hide nor hair.
>Whistle
>
> >nor peep of this fool. After all that hype on this last album and no
>love,
> >my man is harder to find than Bin Laden nem. RUNNER UP: Foxy Brown (Is it
>me
> >or does she look like she stinks?)
> >
> >12. I GOT ISSUES WIT YOU, WROTE A SONG ABOUT IT, WANNA HEAR IT , HERE IT
> >GOES AWARD: "Son-of-a-gun" Janet Jackson. Ok, we definitely got personal
> >this time. I'm so glad I'm not ole boy. Imagine trying to get a date
>after
> >Janet throws you up under a bus. Basically, if yo woman has the means of
> >dogging you for the shit you did by putting you on blast world wide you
>need
> >to be "ALL FOR HER". RUNNERS UP: "Ain't It Funny" J-Lo (Shoot It!) &
> >"Survivor" Destiny's Child (Word is those chicks that got the boot are
> >trying to sue over this song. Just a waste of damn money.)
> >
> >13. ARTIST MOST PENALIZED BECAUSE OF THEIR LOOKS: India Arie. A shame. I
> >clowned her last year about not being the average girl in a video at ALL,
> >but I gotta give it up for her talent. She's the real deal. India and
>Jill
> >Scott both would've went platinum in no time had the skin been a little
> >lighter or the shape a little thinner. RUNNER UP: Angie Stone (Damn Angie
>I
>
> >love ya but you and Missy is about neck and neck minus the hit songs.)
> >
> >14. THE ONE-HIT WONDER AWARD: Afroman "Because I Got High". Probably the
> >most embarrassing song of year from the most embarrassing black artist
>out
> >this year. And the nigga had the nerve to show up at the Grammy's. I
> >sincerely hope this weed head is never allowed near a studio again.
>RUNNER
> >UP: Sunshine Anderson (Guess we won't "hear it all again")
> >
> >15. MOST QUESTIONABLE SEXUALITY AWARD: Maxwell. How come we never see
>this
> >cat with a woman? Hmmm, inquiring minds would like to know. RUNNER UP:
> >Alicia
> >Keys (The word for today Alicia is "femininity")
> >
> >16. THE SHAQUILLE ONEAL ATHLETE THAT GOT NO BUSINESS RAPPING AWARD: Roy
> >Jones Jr. What he needs to do is stop running from Benard Hopkins and put
> >the microphone down. I seen ya last fight where you put your hands behind
> >your back and still knocked a fool out! I seen it, I seen it! But I also
> >heard you rap and if you don't hit the gym
> >and leave the studio alone some Philly boy is gonna knock you on yo butt.
> >Uh, it won't be me Roy so please don't hurt me! RUNNER UP: Allen Iverson
> >(Man, what happened to the Sixers this year??)
> >
> >17. FEMALE ARTIST YOU'D LOVE TO BONE: TIE: Janet Jackson & Claudette
>Oritz
> >(City High) This was close because lately all I've been hearing is "man,
> >that girl from City High is DOPE!!" So, I was gonna go with her straight
>up
>
> >then HBO messed around and played
> >Janet in concert and I damn near jumped thru the damn TV; I had to give
>her
>
> >props because she just won't slip! RUNNER UP: Beyonce (With them "I'm
> >somebody's mama" hips)
> >
> >18. MALE ARTIST YOU'D LOVE TO BONE: Lenny Kravitz. Females just trip off
>the
> >mention of his name. Now, the hoodrats ain't totally feeling Lenny. They
> >like, "he got a nice body and all but I don't be likin' all the Erykah
>Badu
>
> >type stuff wit a nigga! I need some
> >Thug passion an thangs!" As a musician, I ain't got nothing but love for
> >this cat. RUNNER UP:
> >Tyrese (Hey, think of a better one ladies and hit me off wit it!)
> >
> >19. SONG WE NEVER WANT TO HEAR AGAIN: "Fallin" Alicia Keys. Am I hating
> >yet??? RUNNER UP: "I'm Real" J-Lo (Shoot it!) & "It Wasn't Me" Shaggy
>(And
>I
> >better not see him no where either!)
> >
> >20. BUSTA RHYMES WANNA-BE AWARD: Ludacris. Not that Busta has fell off
>but
> >this cat may have taken his place as the most animated rapper. And now
>that
>
> >it's cool to be country, Ludacris has put that flava with over-the-top
> >theatrics and made the shit dope. The durty south is definitely reppin'
> >hip-hop! RUNNER UP: Mystical (I think he's getting carried away with the
> >hip-hop James Brown thing though)
> >
> >21. LEFT EYE IS CRAZY AWARD: KeKe Wyatt. Homechick broke out the Ginsu
>knife
> >and straight shanked her husband Maybe the nigga said something like "IS
>YOU
> >SCREWIN' AVANT ?" and she stabbed him. He didn't press charges which
>leaves
>
> >me to
> >believe he thinks she's gonna blow up and he would be left at home
>watching
>
> >her on TV kickin' it with Taye Diggs at the Grammy's. RUNNER UP: Pink
>(She
> >ain't did shit she just seems to be nuts)
> >
> >22. THE SONS OF P-FUNK AWARD: Outkast. Easily one of the most important
> >groups in Hip-Hop. Andre' 3000 is on some Bootsy type stuff for real!
>RUNNER
> >UP: Cee-Lo of Goodie Mob (This boy gon' be a preacher one day watch!)
> >
> >23. HAS ANYBODY SEEN ME AWARD: Lauryn Hill. Please come out L-Boogie! We
> >missin' you. There's this wanna-be chick that's out here fraudulent and
> >stealing all your thunder. Let her know who's the truth and stop trippin'
> >off yo baby daddy! RUNNER UP: Monica (Did C-Murder shoot you too??)
> >
> >24. LOOK LIKE THEY GOT AN S.T.D AWARD: Trick Daddy. "Mr. Daddy, the nurse
> >will see you now." RUNNER UP: Trina (Never trust a big butt and a smile)
|
Linear Mode
