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  #1  
Old 02-10-2002, 10:28 PM
meliss meliss is offline
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Question will I be okay?

Well next year I am planning to rush (I'm a sr. in high school- i know I don't belong here but I've been reading! jk) and i was a little worried, wondering... I'm not the most outgoing person, I'm kinda shy in groups. People think I'm nice and sweet when they meet me, I can talk to someone one-on-one no problem, but if theres a group of say four people i don't know well, I'll tend not to say much. People who meet me automatically know I'm a reserved person-- though it can be a different story when i get comfortable! I'm just wondering if this is gonna make things hard for me, if I'm not gonna be invited to join any sororities b/c it takes me awhile to get comfy with a group. Given that I'll definitely be making an effort to get to know people but I'm not sure how well I'm gonna do, is this gonna be a big disadvantage for me? Basically, what are they looking for, is being super-outgoing a big part of it? I'd appreciate anything anyone has to say!! thank you. meliss
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  #2  
Old 02-10-2002, 10:58 PM
HeavenslilAngel HeavenslilAngel is offline
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I am just like you as far as the shy thing goes. Just get brave and be like Hey I'm Meliss! Just answer their questions to the best of your ability add as much to your answers as possible and ask questions if you need to. If you come across as genuinely interested they will love you. Knowing me if I was rushing I would tell them I'm kinda shy and just open up to them thats just my nature. If you do that they probably will do everything they can to make you feel comfortable. If I was the rusher and a rushee told me that I would make them feel comfortable and everything. Just contribute where you can in a conversation and just blow em' away!

Good Luck!
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  #3  
Old 02-10-2002, 11:15 PM
aephi alum aephi alum is offline
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I hear ya, Meliss... I'm pretty quiet myself. It depends on where you're going to school. Some schools are very competitive, others are more laid back. Be outgoing, do some research on the GLOs on your campus, find something to talk about (plan ahead for topics of conversation... philanthropy is a good one) and you'll be fine.
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  #4  
Old 02-10-2002, 11:25 PM
meliss meliss is offline
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thanks so much guys! the people here are awesome...
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  #5  
Old 02-11-2002, 12:19 PM
HeidiHo HeidiHo is offline
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I think recruitment is an entirely different mindset, and that you may suprise yourself. I suppose you know this already, but you won't be expected to walk into a room of XYZs and just start talking to random people. An XYZ will meet you at the door and you will never be left alone, but you should never have more than 2(?) XYZs talking to you at a time either. You can be reserved without being antisocial, so you really don't have anything to worry about. I'm sure you'll do great.
Heidi
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  #6  
Old 02-11-2002, 01:45 PM
valkyrie valkyrie is offline
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HeidiHo makes a good point -- you probably won't be talking to more than one or two people at a time. Additionally, the women who will be rushing you are very prepared for rush, and they know that some women will be shy or whatever, but will do their best to help you feel comfortable. Plus, they are probably just as nervous as you are!

Aephi alum also makes a good point -- maybe you'd feel more comfortable if you think of some questions ahead of time to ask each group -- like about philanthropy and scholarship -- try to research what each group does so you can ask questions. For example, if you know that Alpha Phi's philanthropy deals with women's cardiac care, you can ask a sister about it, which would be great because it shows that you know what their philanthropy is and are thus prepared and showing an interest in them, and it gives them a chance to talk about their organization as well.

Do you know where you will be going to school? I hope you'll stick around gc and share your rush story with us!!

Last edited by valkyrie; 02-11-2002 at 01:52 PM.
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  #7  
Old 02-11-2002, 05:21 PM
meliss meliss is offline
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thanks for everyone's help, I'm going to Purdue next year and I'll definitely keep you updated when rush comes around! love meliss
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  #8  
Old 02-11-2002, 05:42 PM
dzrose93 dzrose93 is offline
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Meliss,

Thanks for posting. You've definitely come to the right place for Rush advice!

Just wanted to let you know that I was the exact same way when I was in high school. I was shy and didn't say much in groups, and was VERY nervous around strangers, although I could talk my best friend's ear off with no problem.

When I went through Rush, I was rather nervous and didn't say much the first night. I basically answered the questions I was asked and just tried to appear as interested as possible in whatever my rusher was saying. However, it got easier as the days went by because I got used to making small talk. Plus, as I learned more about the sororities each night, I was able to come up with good questions for my rushers.

If you're nervous and worried about being shy/not saying much, my advice is to pay good attention to what the sisters tell you the first night of Rush and then come up with some questions that you can take with you the following night. Planning what you want to ask beforehand will make you a little more confident because you'll know going into each party that you have SOMETHING to discuss. And, usually, once you ask a question, the sisters will take over the conversation and move it along.

Let me just tell you: I am NOT the shy person I was during Rush anymore! Being in the sorority and holding several leadership positions during college helped improve my self-confidence and really opened me up. People who knew me before I pledged DZ are shocked at how much more relaxed I am in groups now. Although I still hate public speaking! lol

Good luck, sweetie. And feel free to ask any of us if you need more advice!
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  #9  
Old 02-11-2002, 08:05 PM
LexiKD LexiKD is offline
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Although it takes a lot for me to stop talking, I actually understand how you can be shy in groups.

Try working on it until then, the more you talk, the more the chapter will know about you and that's a good thing!

But everyone else is right, you will only get to chat with a few girls, but make sure to be able to carry a conversation.

Good Luck and keep us posted!
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  #10  
Old 02-15-2002, 01:45 AM
deltaphi94 deltaphi94 is offline
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Meliss~

I am the same as you in groups... VERY quiet and shy. You'll get to know the girls in your rush group, and that helped me a lot. It's so true that the girls in the GLO's will be well prepared, and you should think of some things you'd like to know about the chapters.

I was totally overwhelmed at the last party round I went to because the first rounds had been groups of 2, maybe 3 sisters talking to me. The last round, there was about 1/2 the chapter. Most of them had not met me at that point, and I found myself surrounded. Don't work yourself up over it, though. Recruitment is an all around great experience, and I'm glad they did that.

I started out feeling overwhelmed, and left the party in tears because I was afraid they didn't like me since I was so quiet. They wanted to know who I was and what I was about, and they were there to answer all the questions they could.

Go through, take a deep breath, and have a blast!
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  #11  
Old 02-16-2002, 12:23 PM
sugarbaby8301 sugarbaby8301 is offline
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Meliss, Don't worry you'll do fine. The place you choose to accociate will will love you for who you are. Yeah it might be a tiny bit akward at first..but most things are! Just get to know them....I URGE you to get to know the girls first. Make sure they are right for you, and make sure they can offer you something. If you can wait a semester..maybe do the spring class, this way you can get your grades up in the beginning, and you will also have to to find out who the girls are Good Luck Hun Wish you the best
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  #12  
Old 02-16-2002, 08:25 PM
mmcat mmcat is offline
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Thumbs up hey boiler to be

i echo everyone else. do your homework. know a little something about every house, so you can ask good questions. try to have something ready to use for each house. i know at purdue that's tough because there are tons of houses. but you've got time.
do you need recs? if so, get the letters in.
bottom line, be organized and then relax and have fun.
you are already showing you care and you should be hugely successful.
now get yourself graduated.
i teach high school and you would be amazed, or maybe not, by those who assume it's a done deal at this point.
mmcat

PS purdue grad. so i've been there done that.

Last edited by mmcat; 02-16-2002 at 08:28 PM.
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  #13  
Old 03-30-2002, 02:46 AM
ThetaLove ThetaLove is offline
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Hi Meliss,
Let me assure you that you will be fine! The girls that posted previously gave some great advice. Don't worry too much about being shy because first of all we are just as nervous as you. You'll know that a sorority is right for you when you feel more relaxed than you do at the other houses. The only other bit of advice I would tell you is to truly try to get to know all of the girls that you meet. I don't know how individual sororites at purdue handle rush, but some at LSU introduce you to one girl who you talk to pretty much the entire party and others switch girls about halfway through the party. The more girls you get to know, the better you can judge where you belong. Good luck and if you have any more questions ask us, that's what were here for!
Shelly
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  #14  
Old 03-30-2002, 11:36 AM
KDHoney KDHoney is offline
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Just wanted to echo a lot of what everyone else is saying...you'll be fine! First, I think the transition from high school to college can make you more outgoing to begin with, especially if you don't go to college with a ton of people from high school. Second, when we had our recruitment and I'd be talking to a quieter girl, I'd always put myself in her place and figure that I'd be pretty quiet too (even though I'm not usually a quiet person). I think you can tell the difference between someone who is shy and someone who is being quiet because they're snobby...I'm sure that the groups will realize that you're a great person and everything will work out. Keep us posted on everything
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