Ok, loyalty isn't getting me anywhere!

SH80 · #1 06-25-2001, 04:27 PM

Why is it that the more loyal I appear the more I get ignored? I have a real problem with this in my APO chapter and other organizations I belong to, oh yeah my friends are the same way the more loyal I am the less they respect me.

RoaringLionA/CY2K · #2 06-25-2001, 06:47 PM

Girl i am so sorry, but this is my advice...it is the only thing i am good at...treat any thing as a relationship, the more that you put into things and the more that you show you will be there then the more people are going to take you for granted. It is like if you show tooo much intrest in a guy he does not call as much as he would if you treat him like an ass... i dont know I just think that you are being sooo good that people know you are going to be there for them so they dont worry about trying to please you also.
I hope things are goingto work out for te better...and remember I WILL ALWAYS BE HERE FOR YOU!!!!!
Diamond girl for life!!!
L&L,
<>Ashley<>

#3 06-25-2001, 06:54 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by SH80:
Why is it that the more loyal I appear the more I get ignored? I have a real problem with this in my APO chapter and other organizations I belong to, oh yeah my friends are the same way the more loyal I am the less they respect me.

Holy gazoinks Batman...could it be that perhaps your friends see past your loyalty and see something else? If your offline actions are reflective of your online behavior...then well..there's your answer.

SH80 · #4 06-25-2001, 07:16 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by RoaringLionA/CY2K:
Girl i am so sorry, but this is my advice...it is the only thing i am good at...treat any thing as a relationship, the more that you put into things and the more that you show you will be there then the more people are going to take you for granted. It is like if you show tooo much intrest in a guy he does not call as much as he would if you treat him like an ass... i dont know I just think that you are being sooo good that people know you are going to be there for them so they dont worry about trying to please you also.
I hope things are goingto work out for te better...and remember I WILL ALWAYS BE HERE FOR YOU!!!!!
Diamond girl for life!!!
L&L,
<>Ashley<>

Ok, you're the thrird source who told me that. So I guess what you said I should take strongly into my consideration. And, I only thought that playing hard to get was for the guys, oh well. Thanks for the advice.

PS are you my brother "diamond girl"? Or, is your stone a diamond too in your GLO?

SH80 · #5 06-25-2001, 07:17 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by RoaringLionA/CY2K:
Girl i am so sorry, but this is my advice...it is the only thing i am good at...treat any thing as a relationship, the more that you put into things and the more that you show you will be there then the more people are going to take you for granted. It is like if you show tooo much intrest in a guy he does not call as much as he would if you treat him like an ass... i dont know I just think that you are being sooo good that people know you are going to be there for them so they dont worry about trying to please you also.
I hope things are goingto work out for te better...and remember I WILL ALWAYS BE HERE FOR YOU!!!!!
Diamond girl for life!!!
L&L,
<>Ashley<>

Ok, you're the thrird source who told me that. So I guess what you said I should take strongly into my consideration. And, I only thought that playing hard to get was for the guys, oh well. Thanks for the advice.

PS are you my brother "diamond girl"? Or, is your stone a diamond too in your GLO?

33girl · #6 06-25-2001, 08:04 PM

If you EXPECT everyone to commend you on how loyal you are, you shouldn't bother...you should support your friends and your organization because you want to, not because you expect to get something out of it.

"LOVE has nothing to do with what you are expecting to get - only with what you are expecting to give - which is everything. What you will receive in return varies. But it really has no connection with what you give. You give because you love and cannot help giving. If you are very lucky, you may be loved back. That is delicious but it does not necessarily happen."

-Katharine Hepburn

ZChi4Life · #7 06-25-2001, 08:20 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by OohTeenyWahine:

Holy gazoinks Batman...could it be that perhaps your friends see past your loyalty and see something else? If your offline actions are reflective of your online behavior...then well..there's your answer.

LMAO @ OTW!!!!! You are TOO funny! Damn, I'm crying over here!

#8 06-25-2001, 09:15 PM

SH80, I am kind of going through the same thing myself. Not with my soror, but my "friends" at home. Like others have said the more you sometimes put in, the less you get out of it. And its because you let people walk over you and think things will change. You still should remain loyal, dedicated or helpful to whatever, but you also need to speak up and sometimes put your foot down. That's especially with friends. It took me 6 years before I could do it. And if they dont like it, then ask yourself if they were really your friends in the first place? Another thing is that if it has been a long friendship were you have all gone off to school or whatever, people change (sometimes for the worst and too drastically) and sometimes you just have to move on. I feel you pain and hope things work out for you.

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"Its Great To Be A Mich-igan AGD!

"

RoaringLionA/CY2K · #9 06-25-2001, 09:48 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by SH80:
Ok, you're the thrird source who told me that. So I guess what you said I should take strongly into my consideration. And, I only thought that playing hard to get was for the guys, oh well. Thanks for the advice.

PS are you my brother "diamond girl"? Or, is your stone a diamond too in your GLO?

Nah I am an Alpha Delta Pi at UCF!!!!

Chiocutie · #10 06-26-2001, 01:49 AM

I totally agree 33girl!

You should want to serve and be active in your chapter because it comes from from your own motivation. Don't expect people to always be thanking you, etc. because it probably won't happen. The best you can do is to LEAD by EXAMPLE. Encourage your chapter that it is what YOU make it. It's YOUR chapter. Most people will think about your words and your actions and want to get involved. I know personally, I am satisfied in my heart when I do things for my chapter. I love and appreciate it when they share the same enthusiasm as I do but I know that that will not always be the case. Just take it in stride and it will all work out.

shadokat · #11 06-26-2001, 11:28 AM

If you're in the group for the glory and adulation, sorry, but it doesn't work that way. You should be in it for what the ideals of the group are, and living up to those standards.

Dianne · #12 06-26-2001, 01:11 PM

OK, I am sure many of us have been in the same position as you, but it all depends on how you choose to react to it. You could get all in a snit, or you could just take it all in stride. You should be in your organization because you love it, but if you just resent it, is it really worth staying in? And regardless of what you meant by your original post, you sounded resentful. I am active in my chapter b/c I am so excited and proud to be a part of it. I never expected to be showered with praise, but apparently people did notice. I ran for exec and got elected. So maybe it seems like people don't notice or care about how loyal you are, but they probably are taking notice. And even if no one else is proud of you, be proud of yourself that you do uphold high ideals of love and loyalty. The Creed of ZTA says that "the founding precept of Zeta Tau Alpha was love, the greatest of all things." If you're more worried about recognition, you are overlooking the most important things about being in a GLO - love, frienship, pride.

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"Seek the noblest."
Zeta Love! <3

Tom Earp · #13 06-26-2001, 05:37 PM

Always remember, 20% do and 80% do not!
If not for the 20, none of us would be on Campus!

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Tom Earp LX Z#1
Pittsburg State U. (Kansas)

SH80 · #14 06-27-2001, 12:21 AM

No, no, no! Some of you guys are misinterpreting my post. Loyalty is a value of mine and I know that many times you won't get nothing in return. That doesn't bother me that much, what does bother me is that I feel that I am being taken advantage of.

PenguinTrax · #15 06-27-2001, 12:59 AM

There's a great saying/motto that I use that (IMO) applies here:

If you have to go around telling everyone you are in charge, you're not much of a leader.

If you are only doing things to be noticed or to have someone comment on your loyalty, you are doing things for the wrong reasons. Time to step back and re-evaluate. You lead and show dedication by example. If you expect to be patted on the head every time you do something, you don't understand the meaning of the words commitment, volunteerism, and leadership.