Should I drop and rerush next fall?

daisyisconfused · #1 10-07-2014, 07:51 PM

Basically what happened is I went through rush and loved it as I kept getting invited back to my top choice house, along with a few of my last choices but I didn't let that bother me because I was so excited my top pick wanted me as much as I wanted them. So preference day rolls around and I am ecstatic when I receive my schedule as my top house is still on there. My other house is my bottom choice, the house that had been my bottom choice all week, but again I don't let it bother me because my top choice is still a viable option and I kept hearing the Rho Gammas tell other girls "theres a 75% chance you'll get the house you want from preference round". So I arrive to bid day super happy only to be crushed when I receive my bid card and see I'm a new member at my last choice. I do my best to hide my disappointment and go along with the rest of bid night, running back to my new house and doing my best to socialize, but the reason the house had continually been on my bottom was because I had felt awkward talking to every girl there every single round, and nothing had changed. I ended up leaving early because I felt so outcasted, while everyone was having fun with people they had gone through rush with I knew no one.

Basically my question is this: should I drop? And if so should I rerush? Because I know I want to be a member of Greek life, and if I do rerush I know now how important letters of rec are and I could get a lot as many people had offered to write them for me this summer but I didn't know they were necessary.
Or do I stick it out and be a part of the house I really don't fit in at? Because if I do that I feel like I will not only be ruining my experience but also the experience for everyone else because I will never forget that they were my last choice?
I just don't know what to do and I feel super stressed out about it and so any insight would be really helpful!

Sorry if this comes off as petty or ungrateful and thank you so much in advance for any advice!
(I am a freshman at a PAC 12 school if that makes any difference)

AGDCanada11 · #2 10-07-2014, 07:58 PM

I have no idea which school you are at, but regardless my advice would be the same.

You are bound to this sorority until next formal recruitment. They saw something in you. I would give it a go for the new member period, and if you are still really unsure come initiation, then de-pledge before initiation, which would leave you eligible to re-rush next year. Some questions to ask yourself before you make that decision:
- Is your school friendly to sophomores/juniors/seniors going through recruitment?
- What will change so that your outcome would be more favourable a second time around?

This gives you the opportunity to bond with your new member class, as well as the active members of the chapter to which you did receive a bid.

wsucalsigmakapp · #3 10-07-2014, 08:27 PM

It really all depends on the school you are at in the Pac 12. Some have good success rates for sophomores, some barely look at recs, it just all depends. I do have a hard time knowing the size of the chapters in the Pac 12 (other then Utah and Colorado, not to informed on those schools) that the whole house that there are not girls you can get along with. Also remember, next year if you were to stay, you would be on the other side of recruitment helping to pick the next new member class. One class can change a chapter dynamic SO much!

FSUZeta · #4 10-07-2014, 08:42 PM

Read the threads in this forum. I might help you get some clarity on your situation.

http://www.greekchat.com/gcforums/sh...d.php?t=121412

pinksequins · #5 10-07-2014, 09:01 PM

The word is "downcast" rather than "outcasted" because the chapter that issued you a bid wanted you -- you weren't an outcast. : )

During the new member period, see if there are members to which you can relate. Sometimes one can feel more comfortable outside the formal constructs of recruitment. Some chapters simply aren't as good at formal conversations, but can be quite fun outside of that setting. See if that is the case with your group. If so, make a plan with other kindred spiritis to up the game on convo skills next fall. If despite your efforts to engage (and you have to put in the effort and not leave parties early or sit back and wait for them to engage you), then you might wish to drop prior to initiation.

Remember to put in the effort (no leaving the party early). First, you can with good conscience say that you really tried and it just didn't work. Second, it's a necessary life skill. This will not be the first time your parade will be in the rain - you can either be bedraggled or you can pop out a colorful umbrella and jump in the puddles!

ChioLu · #6 10-09-2014, 03:47 PM

If your Pac 12 school is UCLA, upperclass quota is ONE THIRD of the New Member class.
I don't know of any school where the percentage is higher.
I've seen several successful instances of "Recruitment Part 2" when combined with:
* Great grades (mind you, the UCLA All-Sorority GPA is 3.3)
* Campus activities and community involvement
* Getting to know the sorority women in your classes or other activities (like Dance Marathon, being a campus tour guide, working at Bruin Woods in the summer)
* Do not talk bad about any sorority (you don't know who might be listening)
* No embarrassing situations with boys or booze
* No inappropriate social media

I've also seen some "Recruitment Part 2" cases that have gone bad. Usually, with the last 3 bullet points.

RedRaider16 · #7 10-10-2014, 12:21 AM

I would really suggest sticking it out. You never know what will come of the relationships you're making. I also think dropping and rerushing will look bad. If you rush again, you might get the same result except the house that did see something in you and thought that you would be a great addition to their chapter won't offer you another bid. Others have said on here (and I agree): stick it out. To have a bid and a sisterhood to explore and create is better than rerushing and having nothing. Just my opinion. Best of luck.

ASUADPi · #8 10-10-2014, 06:27 AM

As the others have said, you are bound to your bid for a year, so what do you have to lose by spending time with the chapter that you got.

When I mean spending time, I do mean putting forth an effort. But one of the first things you have to do is stop feeling sorry for yourself. You received a bid, you just happened to be matched with your last choice, that is just the way the ball sometimes bounces. There are TONS of stories on greekchat about PNM's who were matched with their last choice and ended up LOVING their sorority and realizing that that is the chapter they were meant to be in.

A girl I know went through recruitment last year at Clemson. She ended up receiving a bid to her 3rd choice. I encouraged her to stick it out BUT if she wasn't feeling it by initiation to NOT initiate (as once you have done that, there is no turning back, so to speak). She ended up LOVING her chapter! After initiation she thanked me for encouraging her to stick with it. She is now a very active member within her sorority.

AZTheta · #9 10-10-2014, 09:53 AM

IF you are at University of Arizona, the chapters are around 300 members (with one exception). The new member classes are around 100 (with one exception). There is no way you won't find friends. There will be cliques. That's inevitable. It happens when the pledge classes are that large.

Regardless, if, after following all the advice above, you choose to depledge, know that sophomores do receive bids here. You will need a super strong GPA and everything else that ChioLu wrote. There's no upperclass quota at Arizona. so you'll be competing with freshmen who have "clean track records".