no big at your initiation...

josh8o · #1 01-23-2002, 03:52 AM

my fraternity has initiation at the start of the spring semester for fall semester pledges. we had our i-week at the end of the fall semester, but we can't be initiated until we get our grades.

anyway, our initiation is on saturday and my big bro left to study abroad this semester. i'm totally happy for him that he is doing this since this is what he wanted. it sucks for me because he will not be there for it. the closer it gets and the more i think about it it just makes me feel like shit. in my house the pledges make a paddle for their big bro, and the big bros get letters for their little bros. i realized that if i make a paddle for initiation on saturday my big bro will not be there. anyway, i talked to my president and he said that i should just buy myself letters and not worry about the paddle. i'm kinda disappointed, all my pledge bros will be exchanging paddles and getting letters that match their big bros, from their big bros, and i will not. i know that part of me is going to feel alone and left out.

anyway, i just need to ramble...

josh

amycat412 · #2 01-23-2002, 03:58 AM

josh-
email or call your big bro and let him know how much you wish he could be there...

dzrose93 · #3 01-23-2002, 11:34 AM

Sorry to hear about the situation, Josh. I agree with amycat...

Definitely let your Big Bro know that you wish he could be around for your initiation. And keep him 'in the loop' about what's going on in the house while he's gone. When he gets back, y'all's bond will be stronger because you've made an effort to stay in touch across the miles.

In the meantime, is there any way for another brother to temporarily "adopt" you while your Big is gone? We used to have a sister step in for another sister if she was unable to make it to a pledge event for her Lil Sis, so that the Lil Sis wouldn't feel left out. She would get the Lil Sis the same thing that a Big Sis would normally get (in your case, letters).

Good luck! Let us know how your initiation goes!

The1calledTKE · #4 01-23-2002, 11:44 AM

When I was getting initiated my big brother was gone. He became an alumn a couple months before he graduated because he had a falling out with the chapter. I got stuck with somebody to take his place. Ruined the moment but I was just happy to finally be a brother.

AlphaGam1019 · #5 01-23-2002, 11:52 AM

Better than my big sister who was so busy with her sports med major that she didn't make it!

HeidiHo · #6 01-23-2002, 12:04 PM

I don't want to get your hopes up, but could your Big be mailing you your letters or having someone else buy them? As for the paddle, go ahead and make it & you can give it to him when you see him again. Don't forget to let him know how much he means to you, maybe he just feels bad for having to be away & doesn't want to be the one to bring it up.
Heidi

Optimist Prime · #7 01-23-2002, 03:04 PM

Josh,
you could also find out what your family colors are, (i.e. the ones that match yoru big bro's) and make them, if you wanted. Sorry about your situation.

KillarneyRose · #8 01-23-2002, 03:06 PM

Josh, I'm sorry about the difficult situation you find yourself in. My big wasn't able to be with me when I initiated and I was really bummed of course, but my pledge mom stood in for her and she really made an effort to make my experience very special. I'm sure that will happen with you, also.

I think you should make your big a paddle and send it to him. I'm sure he is wishing he could be with you just as much as you are.

GreekLetterGirl · #9 01-23-2002, 04:13 PM

Sorry to hear about your big being away, but email him or maybe set up a time to chat so that he can hear about your Big day... best wishes

GammaPhiBabe · #10 01-23-2002, 05:26 PM

My big sis wasn't able to be at my initiation either. We don't get our pins before initiation, so we are always pinned with the big sister's badge. Since my big sis wasn't able to be there, HER big sis (my grand-big sis, I guess? I never called her that...) stepped in and I was pinned with her badge. Is your big brother's big bro still in the house? Maybe he would be willing to substitute for your big brother in his absence.

Hootie · #11 01-23-2002, 05:56 PM

I'm so sorry that you're disappointed about your big not being there for you during your initiation!
Lucky for me my big was there but her and I never really had a close bond because she was always to busy to do anything with me. I felt kinda left out because everyone else had such a great bond with their bigs that when it came time for my initiation I didn't feel the same. Afterwards the girls all exchanged gifts and most of my pledge sisters got lavaliers from their bigs. I remember wanting one so badly and was kinda disapointed not to get one.
At any rate you're not the first this has happened to. It's unfortunate but like everyone else said, simply write your big an email and explain to him how much you wish he could be there. Don't guilt trip him though.
I can't believe one of your brothers would say for you to buy your own letters

I think that's just rude...
Anyways, good luck and try to just enjoy the initiation for what it is. They're ALL your brothers so that's the important thing.

Hootie

shadokat · #12 01-23-2002, 05:59 PM

My big sister graduated the semester I pledged, and hence, was not there when I was initiated in the beginning of the next semester. SO, what we did, I had a surrogate big, who stepped in for her and pinned me and what not...someone I was very close to within the sorority. BUT, I made my big sister her paddle, and she had my sweatshirt made for me, and my surrogate big just stood in and played the part. It all worked out fine, but I understand your frustration ((hug)). I hope it all works out for you josh!

fire1977 · #13 01-23-2002, 07:31 PM

Hey Josh...
I too was in a similar situation. My pledge class was held over to the spring, and my big sister left for study abroad, before I got my letters and before she recieved her paddle, they also play a big part in initiation. I know how you feel completely! Anyway, I lucked out because my big had another little and she stood in. It may not be the same, but (if you have other "family" members) or a person in the fraternity who you would consider to be close to a big, have them stand in for your big bro. I'm sure that person would be more than happy to oblige. It helped a great deal because I was really bummed that she couldn't be there. I presented my paddle to my "twin" and I kept it until my big came back. As far as letters go, I'm sure your big bro won't forget about you when you come back, but at least you get to pick what you want! Treat yourself. Decide on something meaningful to you that you would like to do for your future little bro and make it a tradition!

I hope your initiation is wonderful!

RxyChrldr · #14 01-23-2002, 07:58 PM

Hey Josh..I had the same deal, my Big didn't make it to my initation

She had to work! But my Grand-big sis was there instead...so it worked out. Congrats on initiation!

carnation · #15 01-23-2002, 08:11 PM

Same here, Josh, my big had transferred to Georgia Tech. It's crummy but I feel sure that your chapter will provide someone to be with you during initiation and initiation parties.