Contacting friends’ relatives/alum association for recs& question about social resume

[OrangeBlueGirl]

Hi everyone! First of all, I’d like to say thank you for all the ladies who reply with helpful information!

My question is how I should go about asking for rec’s when I have never met the alum. I know friends’ moms or cousins or close friends who are alums of a sorority but I have never met them before. Should I ask my friends to ask their relative first for permission and then receive their information and ask them? Or should I go ahead and ask the relative? When I do ask the relative for a rec, should I ask them out to lunch/coffee to get to know them (and they get to know me too) in person?

Also, I don’t have recs to all of the sororities on my campus so I would like to contact an alum association to see if any alums would be willing. I live in in central IL and I go to school at the University of Illinois-Urbana/Champaign so the closest alum association would be in Chicago. Should I contact the association first asking if I could attend a meeting and meet some alums so I could ask them afterwards if they would be willing to write a rec for me? Should I ask the ones I get to know out to lunch/coffee one-on-one before they write a rec for me? Or should I just contact the association to see if they could put me in touch with alums who would be willing to write a rec for me?

My last question is about the social resume. I understand from research it’s supposed to look like this for incoming freshmen (http://www.austinpanhellenic.org/joi...ty-resume.html). I am a sophomore planning to rush so should I include high school information along with my freshmen year information? Is the social resume only supposed to be one page? I was pretty active my freshmen year and this summer so would it be ok if I included my work resume and social resume? My work resume is also more in-depth about the organizations I was a leader in.

Sorry for the wall of text. Thank you once again greekchat members!

[DubaiSis]

Concerning your friends of friends, if they can make a pre-call on your behalf, it would be nice of them. It will make your contact more smooth and you'll decrease the chances that you'll catch her at a bad time. Don't forget to thank all parties involved!

With timing being what it is, I'd probably contact the Chicago Alumnae Panhel (not Alumni) as soon as possible. Had you handled this a couple months ago I'd say wait and see what you need (recs not covered by first or second degree contacts) so you can bother the fewest other women possible. But you haven't allowed much time so I'd probably kick both into high gear. I'm not sure recs are absolutely required at UofI. Someone can clarify, but given a need to choose, I'd focus on the personal recs. As discussed in other threads, information only recs are not as valuable, even though they DO still have value.

As you expand your resume, the older/less important stuff should fall away. If you were the national spelling bee champion at 14, I'd probably still have that on my resume. That you were hall monitor your junior year, not so much. And word of advice, date and file away each copy of your resume as you update it. You'll be glad you did later on.

[irishpipes]

I would absolutely NOT attend an AP meeting.

I like resumes for this purpose to have some personality. I don't mind multiple pages at all. I confess that the ones with a colorful header grab my attention more. This isn't for a job interview, so allow a little personality!

Make sure it is complete:

Appropriate photo
ACT/SAT score
Final HS rank and GPA
Parents' names
Since you are a sophomore, I would include significant HS accomplishments only.
Include your current UIUC GPA, hours completed, major
Include everything you are involved in now including employment

Feel free to include tidbits about you since you don't know your rec writers well. (For example - I love country music, I train show horses, etc. this can help give a fuller picture of who you are.)

As for contacting alumnae, I would get their phone numbers and call them directly. You can introduce yourself, explain how you know them, and that you are trying to gather recs for recruitment. Sorority women WANT to help for the most part. Don't fear rejection. Where you live, not all alumnae will be familiar with recs, so you may want to explain that you want to give yourself the best shot at every chapter that you possibly can, so recs are strongly suggested for you.

When you talk to these alumnae, offer to meet them for coffee. They might not take you up on it, but it sends the message that you value the fact that they are vouching for you. Keep a list of the chapters you lack recs or, and ask these alumnae if they know any alumnae from the chapters you lack.

Make sure to get their complete contact information so that you can send a prompt thank you note after recruitment.

Have a great recruitment!

I L L !

[OrangeBlueGirl]

After the pre-call, should I ask to meet them in person if they're in the area? (lunch or coffee) Or should I just talk to them on the phone and then ask if they would be willing to send a rec for me?

My work resume only contains experiences from the summer of incoming freshmen year and on-wards. Should the older/less important stuff fall away with the social resume too? Or keep the important high school stuff (like volunteer experiences with positions and club positions) on the social resume?

Thank you for your advice DubaiSis!

[OrangeBlueGirl]

Thank you irishpipes! You answered a lot of the questions I posted the before refreshing the page haha.
I would just tell them the tidbits about myself and not include in on the social resume (unless it's a hobby) right?
How would I go about contacting alumnae from the Chicago alumnae associations if I need a few more sorority recs? (19 Panhall sororities at UIUC, 20 with 4H) Just ask politely if they could put me in contact with alumnae from xyz sorority after explaining my situation?

[Titchou]

You need to be contacting alumnae in your home area and I'm not clear on where that is.
For moms of friends, etc when you call them, tell them what you need and ask if they could meet you to go over your resume and transcript. If they say no, just send it, then that's fine. They may want to meet you. Offer to meet at Starbucks or wherever and buy them a cup of coffee/tea. SEND A THANK YOU AFTER! Hand written - not email.

As for the groups you need and don't yet have, check the national website for each group and see if there is an alumnae group in your home town and contact them. Also, when you find someone - mom of friends or whoever - that will write you a rec, ask if they know anyone in the other groups you need. That's perfectly acceptable to do. And preferred over a blind rec.

[DubaiSis]

I think you're over thinking it.
"Hi, this is Suzie Rushee. I'm Mary's daughter. I think you spoke with her about me needing a recommendation letter for rush at Illinois this fall. Would you be willing to help me? (yes, of course!) Would you like to meet for a coffee (no, why don't we just talk for a moment now). Sure! I'm going to be a sophomore... Can I send you my resume and a picture? (please. here's my email...). Thank you so much! As you know, there are a LOT of sororities at Illinois and I'd like to maximize my options during rush this fall, but I'm missing recommendations for a few sororities. Would you possibly be able to help me with recommendations to ABC and DEF?"

You get the idea. Short and sweet, jump to the point.

[WCsweet<3]

It looks like there are a couple of alumnae associations around the city and the state that are fairly sizable. A short list:
North Shore,
Hinsdale,
Chicago Area,
Chicago NW Suburban,
Lyons Township,
Peoria
Bloomington

So the closest to you may not be Chicago. Check out this link to find the nearest one: link Some of the chapters have an actual person to handle rec requests, some have a form, others I would email the president.

In the email (to whomever it may be) I highly suggest saying something like this:
"Although I have been able to secure letters to the other organizations, I am still need to find letters for Alpha Beta Delta, Zi Phi Chi, and Mu Nu Omicron. I believe they are members of (insert panhellenic name). Do you know who I could contact for more information?"

[DeltaBetaBaby]

1) The Chicago Alumnae Panhellenic is not exactly a well-oiled machine, to say the least. It has kinda operated in fits and starts the last few years, and not all groups participate. You can take a stab at contacting them, but don't be surprised if it is a bit of a dead end.

2) Most (all?) groups have an alumnae presence of some sort in C-U, and you may have better luck contacting a group directly. You aren't specific about "Central Illinois", but many groups also have a presence in Peoria, B-N, etc.

3) I'm not going to say recs aren't required, because I am not privvy to the membership selection policies of any group by my own...HOWEVER, many women sign up for U of I rush once they have already gotten to campus and still have successful recruitments. So, you should do your best to secure recs if you can, but don't sweat it if you come up short on some groups, nor should you let it affect your decision-making during recruitment.

[OrangeBlueGirl]

Titchou and Dubaisis, thank you for the advice on how to contact alumnae for recs. I probably am over-thinking it haha.
Wcsweet<3 thank you for the suggestion on how I should approach asking an alumnae organization for potential contacts.
DeltaBetaBaby, thank you for the heads up on Chicago Alumnae Panhellenic! None of my friends went into rush with recs at UIUC but I'm just afraid being a sophomore will hurt my chances, especially since all but one sorority (Phi Sigma Sigma, which is just coming back to campus this upcoming fall) are well established at UIUC so they don't need older girls right away for leadership.

[DeltaBetaBaby]

Originally Posted by OrangeBlueGirl

Titchou and Dubaisis, thank you for the advice on how to contact alumnae for recs. I probably am over-thinking it haha.
Wcsweet<3 thank you for the suggestion on how I should approach asking an alumnae organization for potential contacts.
DeltaBetaBaby, thank you for the heads up on Chicago Alumnae Panhellenic! None of my friends went into rush with recs at UIUC but I'm just afraid being a sophomore will hurt my chances, especially since all but one sorority (Phi Sigma Sigma, which is just coming back to campus this upcoming fall) are well established at UIUC so they don't need older girls right away for leadership.

If you wanna PM me with your exact location, I might be able to be a little more help. As a sophomore, do you know a lot of women in sororities? Many sophomores at UIUC have very successful recruitments, though usually the ones who pledge the most sought-after chapters know women in those chapters already. That said, if you KEEP YOUR OPTIONS OPEN, there is a very slim chance you wouldn't find a home at all.

One thing that has been a problem at UIUC for ages is retention. So many women who pledge as freshmen burn out or leave by their senior year, that often a sophomore who pledges and gives three good years is seen as just as large of an asset as a freshman. There are, IMO, two main reasons for this: 1) There is a ton of great and cheap housing on campus, and 2) most women don't see the life-long commitment aspect that women from the South see as they are growing up. So, you have a large, housed system, where women are expected to put in a ton of time and money, and by senior year, many make the decision that they are giving more than they are getting, without the pull of "just stick it out one more year and then you get to be an alumna for life."

Which is to say, if I were rushing as a sophomore, I would emphasize my excitement about living in the house. Some chapters have 2-year live-in requirements, so you'd be expected to live there as a senior, and that means you will be 21-years old and not allowed to have alcohol, not allowed to have men over, and possibly sharing a room. I think the trade-off is worth it, but showing that you've thought that over is a good thing.