Lost...

[freedombliss]

I'm a new student this semester at Arizona state university. I knew right off the bat that I wanted to be in a sorority, so u decided to do spring recruitment even though only three chapters are recruiting. I went to the first chapters recruitment party, and within a few days I had accepted a bid from them without meeting ANY of the others. All the girls were so nice, but I realized on bid day that I really didn't mesh with them, and that the sorority wasn't for me, but at that point I was too polite to say no. This is a huge commitment, and I need to be fair to myself by picking the house that is best for me, and give them all a fair shot. I want to do fall recruitment, but I know if I drop now that I have to wait an entire year before I can accept another bid. This means that I will have to wait three semesters before I can do the fall recruit, and I just feel like I'm going to miss out on so much!! Is there any way around this?! I can't believe I acted so naively. Please help!!!

[DubaiSis]

You don't have to wait an entire year. You have to wait until the next formal rush, which is in the fall. If you dropped now you could rush again in the fall, but do keep in mind that you may not fare so well as a sophomore who dropped a chapter who pledged her. What you have is buyer's remorse. Make sure what you are not feeling is too good for these women who liked you well enough to let you into their circle. I'm going to withhold some snarky comments because it's possible you don't know how you sound. But I would say give your new sisters a full chance before dropping out.

And as an aside, I'd like you to think about this. The small chapter can only get bigger and on even footing with the big chapters by pledging more women. I can tell you for sure that every chapter that struggled but came out of it had a group of women who decided to take a chance and risk not being in the coolest house in favor of being with a group of genuine women with ambition to succeed. But you have to be cool enough and strong enough to be part of that change. And if you're not, you better hope you are popular enough to make it in the chapters that you deem worthy.

[AZTheta]

Paging AXOrushadvisor!!!

DS, great post, by the way.

[DaffyKD]

Originally Posted by DubaiSis

And as an aside, I'd like you to think about this. The small chapter can only get bigger and on even footing with the big chapters by pledging more women. I can tell you for sure that every chapter that struggled but came out of it had a group of women who decided to take a chance and risk not being in the coolest house in favor of being with a group of genuine women with ambition to succeed. But you have to be cool enough and strong enough to be part of that change. And if you're not, you better hope you are popular enough to make it in the chapters that you deem worthy.

Once upon a time, when dinosaurs roamed college campuses and new members were pledges, there was a chapter on a large campus that went into rush with less than 10 members. They pledged NO ONE. The members sat down with the national officers and discussed their options 1) close the chapter, 2) find some way to revitalize the chapter. The members voted to revitalize. They worked and worked. That fall they more than tripled their membership. Their sisters from other chapters helped them with rush, helped them build sisterhood, were there for them the entire year. They again increased their membership during spring recruitment (can't remember if they also had a winter class as they are on tri-mesters). Within 2 years they were almost to total.

Small chapters can grow with the help of other sisters and with new members who want to do the work to help them grow. Although they were an old established chapter, but had to learn to work together in the same way a new colony has to work together.

Dropping out because a chapter is small tells me you don't want to do the work. Dropping out now gives you no guarantee you will be extended a bid by another chapter in fall-- you will be further along in school and you have proven you are not willing to take on a leadership role to assist the chapter. A new colony will most likely not consider you for membership as they need leaders to build their chapter.

DaffyKD

[Old_Row]

How can you suddenly realize on bid day that you don't mesh with a group? Sounds like you aren't bothering to give them a chance because you think you can do better than they are. They are probably better off if you quit if that's the way you are feeling but realize that in the fall you may not receive a bid from anyone.

[thetalady]

Originally Posted by freedombliss

I'm a new student this semester at Arizona state university. I knew right off the bat that I wanted to be in a sorority, so u decided to do spring recruitment even though only three chapters are recruiting. I went to the first chapters recruitment party, and within a few days I had accepted a bid from them without meeting ANY of the others. All the girls were so nice, but I realized on bid day that I really didn't mesh with them, and that the sorority wasn't for me, but at that point I was too polite to say no. This is a huge commitment, and I need to be fair to myself by picking the house that is best for me, and give them all a fair shot. I want to do fall recruitment, but I know if I drop now that I have to wait an entire year before I can accept another bid. This means that I will have to wait three semesters before I can do the fall recruit, and I just feel like I'm going to miss out on so much!! Is there any way around this?! I can't believe I acted so naively. Please help!!!

Before you leave this sorority, be sure that you are understand & accept that you MIGHT not get an opportunity to join another group. If not being in any group is preferable to you than being in this sorority, then drop and rush again in the Fall. Just be 100% sure before you choose to dump this group of girls. This might be your only chance.

[AXOrushadvisor]

I'm looking at the green book right now and if you signed a bid card it states that you are bound to that group for one calendar year. That is listed under the section "what every PNM needs to know about recruitment" it is the second to last bullet point. My green book is from 2011 so that may have changed in 2012. Did you sign a piece of paper called a MRABA? Sometimes that step gets lost in informal recruitment.

FreedomBliss there are sophomores and juniors who receive bids during recruitment at ASU every year. If you do decide to drop out you will need to keep those grades up. The all sorority average is a 3.1. All the groups at ASU have something to offer. I would stick it out and give it some time. You might change your mind about it. PM me if you have any questions.

[DeltaBetaBaby]

Originally Posted by AXOrushadvisor

I'm looking at the green book right now and if you signed a bid card it states that you are bound to that group for one calendar year. That is listed under the section "what every PNM needs to know about recruitment" it is the second to last bullet point. My green book is from 2011 so that may have changed in 2012. Did you sign a piece of paper called a MRABA? Sometimes that step gets lost in informal recruitment.

I believe we have debated this to death here, and the ultimate consensus is that the MRABA binds until the next formal rush.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by DeltaBetaBaby

I believe we have debated this to death here, and the ultimate consensus is that the MRABA binds until the next formal rush.

Which I think is complete bullshit and stigmatizes COB even more by making it seem like the bids given then don't count for as much. But anyway.

freedombliss - as a new student there you should have NEVER gone through informal rush in the first place (unless you somehow through friends or something knew so much about the campus and the Greek system that it was like you were already a student for a semester). You're obviously not happy so drop out and try in the fall, but be aware you may come up empty handed.

[AOII Angel]

Originally Posted by DeltaBetaBaby

I believe we have debated this to death here, and the ultimate consensus is that the MRABA binds until the next formal rush.

I would consult with the Greek Adviser at your school before assuming this is correct. Not all Greek Advisers interpret the Green Book the same way or correctly. You may or may not be held to that bid for a full calendar year. It depends on how the Greek Adviser reads the statement.

[Titchou]

AXOrushadviser, read further on about COB. I don't have the MOI on this computer but under that heading it states that a COB bid is good till the next formal recruitment period. I had to retract the same statement about a week ago when I went and looked it up.

ETA: It's on page 115 of the MOI/Green Book.

[AZTheta]

In terms of bids being binding for a calendar year, COB is DIFFERENT; we cleared this up a while back. It's not open to interpretation, it's in black and white in the MOI/Green Book.

So if some Greek Adviser chooses to interpret it differently, I'd take him/her on. Seriously. Just let me know, I'm in the mood to take on somebody. Yeah. I am. This is a battle I can fight and win. Oh yes indeed.

[ElvisLover]

You go get 'em AzTheta! Love it!

[Titchou]

Originally Posted by AzTheta

In terms of bids being binding for a calendar year, COB is DIFFERENT; we cleared this up a while back. It's not open to interpretation, it's in black and white in the MOI/Green Book.

So if some Greek Adviser chooses to interpret it differently, I'd take him/her on. Seriously. Just let me know, I'm in the mood to take on somebody. Yeah. I am. This is a battle I can fight and win. Oh yes indeed.

I'm with you. It's in black and white in the MOI and just as plain as it can be. I'll be right there with you!

[AZTheta]

Originally Posted by Titchou

I'm with you. It's in black and white in the MOI and just as plain as it can be. I'll be right there with you!

You're in the car until the wheels fall off, Titchou. Count on it.