what was their reaction?

[cowboyduff]

Over the holiday i announced my intentions to rush in the spring. I was a little surprised by the reactions i got from people. I brought the subject up to my parents while we were driving to a relatives house and they were supportive my mom was all gung ho about it my dad gave me the whole be careful etc etc etc speech that he gives me everytime i say i want to do something.

I was just wondering what reaction others got when they said they were rushing. The reaction from my friends was a little surprising, they all seemed a little cold to the idea except my one friend Zach who tried to nudge me in the direction of his fraternity until i told him they had left my campus. I found it interesting the reasons people were and were not supportive of the idea. Anybody else?

[justamom]

I would bet a lot of people will echo ths opinion, perhaps because they experienced it themselves.

The main reason most people may not offer support is because you are choosing to be independant of your peer group. They may view it as being abandoned or having "something" chosen OVER them.
It's human nature to form "packs" and seek comfort from conformity. Change, they say, is difficult for many people to deal with. Striking out on your own can cause people to rethink their own choices and resent you on many levels. They may think they will lose your friendship, they may fear you will change your feelings about them. Also, they may have their heads in a different place and see Greek Life in a negative light or think you are "silly" and choose to ignore the whole issue and wait for the outcome.
Just reading the rush threads it seem ALMOST universal, so many people experienced a change in the way their indepndant friends treated them. As for your parents, you never really know unless you ask them straight up and they can answer you with the same honesty.

[UKAXO]

As always, JAM, you are right on target!

I will just add that this holds true for so many things in life, not just the decision to go Greek. Any time you opt to "go against the tide", you will find plenty of resistance to try to discourage you. It's up to you to make the choices that will, in turn, bring YOU happiness.

Case in point: I spent my junior year abroad in Spain. It changed my life forever - I'm not kidding; I've spent most of my life since then, here in Europe. I knew when my year of study was finished, I would not ever wish to return to live in the USA on a permanent basis. I knew this in my heart. But, as JAM pointed out, when I told my friends and family that I would not be returning to the States to live, EVER, they all felt "abandoned" and fearful that it would spell the end of friendships/other relationships.

It's been over 15 years now, and I can say that I have held on to the friends that respected my decision - and my family finally saw that they had no choice in the matter, and so they also learned to accept it. To those who belittled MY decision - they were indeed the weakest link, and so I said "goodbye" to them.

Cowboyduff, TO THINE OWN SELF BE TRUE. You are the only one who has to live "in your skin", so to speak. I hope you find that Greek life is for you, and that it brings you as much happiness as it has to most of us on this BB; please keep us all posted on the outcome no matter what, however.

[The1calledTKE]

Just do what feels right to you. My parents were very suportive all they wanted is if My grade failed that I take a break from the fraternity. I never had to take a break because I worked hard. You just need to prove joining a GLO won't affect you any.

[HeidiHo]

My parents thought it was great. Most people get grief from their parents, it seems, but my dad just thought of all the positive things: building leadership skills, lifelong friendships etc My dad's a pretty independent thinker so I don't know if he just ignored all the steroetyes from the media or if he had actually never heard them. Either way, my they were very excited for me.
Heidi

[Optimist Prime]

My dad thought that I would be blacked balled. Long story as to why he thought that. Anyway, most people were like "geez you're gonna be a frat boy?" That reply got old, because the one guy was wearing letters when he said it. Letters for an honor society but still. Some people thought it was cool though.

[justamom]

Billy, I can't imagine you offending anyone to that degree. But then, we all have a skeleton or two...at least I know I do.

Mom, wasnt too thrilled about it at all. My cousin went to college in the town we lived in, my aunt asked her to like watch over him and he pledged (and still is a member) of XYZ. Well needless to say he ended up in the hospital 2x . My cousin , suprisingly, cuationed me from it but had no problem. My friends knew about it and just asked that i didnt change, but had no problem with it. The only issues people kind of had were why did i join NPC instead of NPHC. When i would come back, people would ask if they treated me ok and other yada yada stuff.

[AlphaGam1019]

My parents didn't mind as long as it didn't make my grades drop.

[greeklawgirl]

I thought my parents would be difficult about it, but they weren't at all. I still don't know if they really 'get' what its all about, but they've always been very careful to let me make my own decisions and support me come what may.

[BrownEyedGirl]

My parents knew I would rush, as I'd seen all my older friends do it and talked about it NONSTOP my senior year in hs. Once I pledged, though, they went Zeta crazy! I mean, I've got strawberry placemats for my apartment, crown-shaped picture frames, ZTA stained glass, cups, clocks, you name it. My big sis wasn't so great, but I was so spoiled by my folks it didn't even matter. When I took my own little, they filled up a whole 32 gal. cooler with ZTA gifts for her (all of our littles get gifts every day for three weeks and then a big cooler). My little is spoiled too!

Even though I was initiated two years ago, my folks are still so supportive - they love to meet my ZTA sisters and send us gifts and cards. At Parents' Weekend (we have one both semesters) they have a ball meeting everyone's families and even go out to eat with my sisters' families at home. My dad was a Sigma Pi in college and my mom was a Pika little sister, so they've known their share of Greek life. Plus here in the South, nearly everyone's Greek! I guess I'm a little unfamiliar with other reactions, but I'm grateful my family is as understanding and involved as they are!

[DeltaBetaBaby]

My entire family was Greek at U of I, so rushing was even less of an option than coming to U of I.

[aephi alum]

I'm the first in my family to go Greek.

My mother was "kind of" supportive - she didn't really know what it was all about, since she went to school overseas, but basically her attitude was "if you want to join a sorority, go ahead, but you have to pay for it". Which is reasonable.

My dad was vehemently opposed. I gather that he had a negative experience with the Greek system on his campus. (Maybe he rushed and didn't get a bid - I don't know.) Then again, my dad is vehemently opposed to just about anything I do - too bad for him that I'm an adult and can do as I please

[cowboyduff]

Yeah i've gotten mixed reactions. My Mom is "go ahead it'll be good for you! And you'll get to do all that fun stuff and it'll look good on a resume and you'll make friends" and she keeps going on and on. My dad who is usually pessimistic about everything anyway is all like "be careful, are you sure you know what you are doing etc etc." My friends are kinda like well if you want to but my one friend is like "YOU A FRAT BOY? I'll have to get used to THAT!" anyway the stories are interesting keep them coming!

[Siobhan]

My parents were all for it - it was something I had considered doing since I was in grade 11, so they knew I was excited about it. UBC is a huge school (30,000+) so they saw this as a good way to meet new people. Also my cousin and his wife are alumni of UBC's greek system, so they filled my parents in on all the fun stuff. I even had my grandparents blessing on this one . My parents saw how much I enjoyed Greek life they encouraged my brother to join a fraternity when he started UBC this autumn. 10 years ago no one in my [immediate] family was a greek now there is one beta, one kappa, one dphie , and one sigma chi!