The Flounce

[Kevin]

It's recruitment week (and maybe there's something in the water?), thus, flouncing has become very popular as of late. It is important at this time to familiarize ourselves with the flounce and the terminology associated therewith.

(stolen from elsewhere)

History

In childhood, flouncing is called "tantrums."

Types

* A Convoluted Flounce is a wordy diatribe in which the wanker must make it clear how everyone else is forcing them to leave, and that the wanker simply has no other choice.

* The Double Flounce is when a flouncer vows never to post again and never to return. They then return to announce again that they will never again return.

* The Triple (or more) Flounce is exceedingly rare, but definitely the most amusing.

* The Internet Suicide Flounce. Did they mention the first time that they're going to delete their journal/fanfic/fanart/blog/website? Really, they mean it. They're not only never going to come around here no mo', but they will commit Internet hara-kiri and erase all trace of themselves to show they *is oppressed*. Extreme flouncers will commit pseuicide.

Effects

The goal of a flounce is always to elicit an outpouring of handwringing and sympathy from other fans ("Please don't go, we love you, you're brilliant!") If there's a corresponding threat of deletion, they will expect an added outcry for the sake of their fic ("It would be like Michelangelo erasing the Sistine Chapel if we live without chapter 217 of your Harmonian opus!"). The wanker must know that they are so vitally important mass suicide will result if they leave the fandom. If there is an insufficient outcry the first time, the wanker will institute the double flounce.

Exactly 98.7% of flouncers return within a week, usually in the form of a sockpuppet. A percentage of these flouncers will actually return as themselves or not leave at all, most with the explantion that the sympathy garnered has changed their minds.