A Stanford Recruitment Story

[XOcarnation]

Hey everyone,

As a rising senior I have started to get nostalgic as the school year approaches. I was going through my stuff from freshman year and found the notebook where I wrote all my sorority impressions. I figured since I can't fall asleep, I would start writing my story. Plus, you rarely get to hear about Stanford on GreekChat, so I thought I'd give my school a shout out. Unfortunately, my username gives away the ending, but I promise it is a good story.

When I was going through rush (Yes, I am calling it rush. Frankly it is just faster to type), Stanford had 6 NPC chapters. Now we have 7. Welcome Alpha Phi! They were:
1) Kappa Alpha Theta
2) Pi Beta Phi
3) Delta Delta Delta
4) Chi Omega
5) Alpha Epsilon Phi
6) Kappa Kappa Gamma

I will name them after freshman dorms in the Stanford spirit. They are in no particular order:
1) Serra
2) Donner
3) Larkin
4) Twain
5) Burbank
6) Cedro

My background:
None of my family members had ever been involved in Greek life, so I really didn't know that much about the process. And by really didn't know that much, I mean that I didn't know ANYTHING. However, lots of my friends were rushing, and I am a fairly social person, so I thought it would be a good fit. I decided to give it a try, despite the fact that my family didn't really approve.

Here were my impressions of each sorority prior to rush:
Even though I didn't know much about rush or really Greek life in general, I did have impressions of each house. Stanford has deferred rush (we rush in early April), and the undergraduate body is fairly small. This means that you are bound to know someone involved in Greek life, and tent talk abounds.

1) Serra: I didn't really know much about this chapter, except that they were unhoused. At the time, the whole housing process freaked me out (Everyone at Stanford lives on campus, and to get housing, you have to apply through what they call "The Draw." It is overly complicated.). I wanted a housed chapter, so I didn't have to deal with the whole housing situation. (Awful reason to join a sorority, I know. Looking back on my entire thought process now, I shudder).
2) Donner: This chapter was considered one of the "top" houses at Stanford. I knew a senior who was a Donner through an extracurricular activity and really liked her. She was funny, warm, and had amazing things to say about Donner.
3) Larkin: This chapter was known as the bottom chapter. It was the smallest in size and also unhoused.
4) Twain: This chapter is housed and was considered middle of the road. Didn't really have strong impressions of it.
5) Burbank: This chapter was housed, and I knew two girls in the grade above me in the house. They showed me around their freshman dorm when I was a prospective freshman. I later ended up in the same dorm and went on a dorm trip with them. I really liked these girls. They were so nice, sweet, and friendly to me. They RAVED about their sorority and did things like ask me over for lunch at the house. They essentially did everything besides promise me a bid. (All I can hear in my head when I think back to this is, "RUSH INFRACTION!"). I really wanted to be a Burbank.
6) Cedro: This chapter was also unhoused. Known for its athletes and partying, my Donner friend told me it was the strongest unhoused chapter.

Before I go on and y'all get tired of reading, I really want to encourage any woman reading this who is thinking about rushing NOT to go into rush with the mindset that I had. I know that going through rush, your Rho Gamma/Pi Chi/whoever always tells you to keep and open mind and not make decisions based off of tent talk and your friends. At the time, it sounded corny and unrealistic to me. Please, please, please take it to heart. Now that I am on the other side, I can honestly say that I would feel privileged to be a member of any sorority at Stanford. Each sisterhood has such amazing things to offer and is made up of truly fantastic women. For women that are in my situation with deferred rush, do the best to set the tent talk aside. Also know that while you may know and love girls in each house (and they may know and love you back), 2/3/10 girls that love you might just not cut it. Never assume just because you know people that you will get a bid. Truly go in with an open mind and heart and with realistic expectations, and in return, you will get amazing sisters, great memories, and no regrets.

[carnation]

Great lead-in! Great advice!

[FSUZeta]

what she said.

[AXOmom]

Yay! another Pac-12 story. There are a lot of them suddenly!

Giggled at this line, "You have to apply through what they call 'The Draw'. It's overly complicated." It's Stanford - of course it would have to be overly complicated.

I'm rooting for Donner on this one because my twisted sense of humor finds it funny that they would name a dorm Donner.

[Greek_or_Geek?]

Originally Posted by AXOmom

Yeah, another Pac-12 story. There are a lot of them suddenly!

Giggled at this line, "You have to apply through what they call 'The Draw'. It's overly complicated." It's Stanford - of course it would have to be overly complicated.

I'm rooting for Donner on this one because my twisted sense of humor finds it funny that they would name a dorm Donner.

I wonder if they have a meal plan in that dorm?

[AXOmom]

Would be interesting to see the menu on that meal plan - .

[amIblue?]

Two things:

1. Post more story, please.

2. Why are the sororities 50/50 housed/unhoused?

[XOcarnation]

Before I get to the first day of rush, question/answer time! Even though this was tongue-in-cheek, unless you live in apartment-style housing or off-campus, you are required to purchase a meal plan. So, yes, Donner purchases a meal plan and eats in dining halls with the rest of the dorms. Secondly, only half (now less than half with Alpha Phi) of the sororities are housed because only the first three sororities to return to campus were offered the option. Stanford kicked all sororities off campus in the 1940's. When this happened, all the sororities were forced to sell their houses to the school. Furthermore, Stanford owns all on-campus land, and as part of the founding charter, they CANNOT sell it. Sometime, Stanford created a rule that only 10 GLO's can be housed at once. Because fraternities were never forced to disband, all the fraternities that were able to maintain membership numbers and avoid disciplinary issues were able to remain housed. However, Sigma Chi remains the only GLO to still own their house. 7 fraternities were housed when Title IX forced Stanford to allow sororities back on campus. The first 3 had the opportunity to have a house. The remaining 4 were not.

Now, night 1 of recruitment! The night started on Friday after classes at 5:30. The dining halls only opened (back then) at 5:15, so a mass of women rushed to the dining halls to make PB&J and then we all walked/ate our sandwiches as we walked together to Tresidder. Rush is held in a series of rooms all over the university. ISC assigns the rooms and makes sure that room assignments are equal.
1) Twain: I was so overwhelmed when the doors opened and the women and Twain started singing and clapping. The first woman I talked to was the rush chair for Twain, which made me both nervous and excited. About 5 minutes in or so, we all sat down and watched a video that the women had made about their chapter. The rush chair had played a central role, so we had a lot to talk about. I generally liked the women I talked to.
2) Donner: Donner's video was very well-made, and the women were so energetic and excited. The room they were in was really loud, and it was kinda hard to hear. One of the girls that I talked to was a little...over-exuberant and made me feel slightly uncomfortable because she was a little bit in my personal space and overly familiar (she gave me a nickname after talking to me for 1 minute). However I really liked everyone else I talked to and my best friend was in love with this house, so I came away with a positive impression.
3) Larkin: Poor Larkin. They were triple-rushing. It was hard to stay in the conversation with 3 PNM's competing for time and trying to make an impression. Their video was also not as well-made as the two I had seen before. I did not really want to come back to Larkin.
4) Cedro: Their video made fantastically, but was a lot about partying which kind of put me off. One of my rushers was in a class with me winter quarter that we both LOVED and talked about that. I also told one of the rushers about the funny birthday party we had just thrown my best friend. I thought it had went well.
5) Serra: At Serra, some girls were double rushed. I was relieved that I wasn't after my experience at Larkin. The video was okay. Honestly, I was really hungry during this round and wasn't really paying attention.
6) Burbank: I was really happy to finish up the night at Burbank. Luckily, my Rho Gamma gave me a snack before the party so I had a lot more energy. I walked and walked past one of my friends who gave me a wave and a smile, and even though I was tired as all get out (it was nearing 12AM at this point), it gave me the encouragement to fake the energy for the rest of the party. The girls I talked to were really sweet. This party enforced my previous impression of them.

At the end of the night we were asked to rank our bottom two. Mine were:
1) Serra
2) Larkin

Day two of rush arrived. We got to the party and picked up our schedules. I would be going back to Twain, Donner, Serra, and Burbank. I was a little disappointed that Cedro hadn't invited me back, since I thought I had some really good conversations with the women in that house. However, I wasn't too frazzled as I kind of had the impression that I wasn't really crazy enough to feel comfortable with them anyway.
1) Burbank: I was happy to have them first instead of last this time. The women performed a really cute skit based off of a Christmas Carol with a PNM as Scrooge and cute things Burbanks do as the Ghosts. Again, I loved the girls I talked to, and a girl I had had a class with came up to me to tell me she was really happy to see me there.
2) Serra: I ended up in the back during their skit and had trouble hearing. However, I had a really great conversation with one of the women who told a funny story about a spring break trip she had just taken with her sisters. I really liked the girls that I talked to.
3) Donner: Their skit was soooooo funny! I laughed my head off. I had some amazing conversations with the women about some of my anxieties about living in a house of all women. They were so down-to-earth. I really liked them.
4)Twain: My voice was so tired when I got to Twain (I seriously don't know how the big schools do it). Their skit was a little off-putting to me. They had a couple of parts that involved the women dancing kinda sexily in kinda few clothing. The women I talked to and I didn't really click.

At the end of the night, I was asked to rank my bottom chapter. I ranked:
1) Serra because I still wanted to housed sorority and the remaining houses I had left were all housed.

[victoriana]

Are you going to finish the story?

[UGAalum94]

Please do!

[XOcarnation]

So I arrived on Day 3, which at Stanford is Philanthropy Night. Usually the each chapter makes a video about their philanthropy and the rushees do some sort of craft related to their philanthropy. I was going to Burbank, Serra, and Donner.
1) Serra: At Serra, I was actually double rushed. The girl I was paired with had a REALLY strong connection with Serra's philanthropy and was really talented crafts-wise, so the entire time I was super nervous she was outshining me. I did really like the girls I talked to. They talked about the benefits of being unhoused and the cool things they had done with their sisters. Serra was starting to grow on me despite the fact that they were unhoused.
2) Burbank: Next I had Burbank, the chapter I had been set on from the beginning, so of course, I was excited to go and learn about their philanthropy. The girls were really sweet (per usual), and they all remarked that they had heard a lot of great things about me at the house. In fact, at one point, I had three girls talking to me (at the time I was flattered, but now I know that this is another rush infraction). I had a great time. The only thing was, we were sitting on the floor, and when we got up to leave, my leg had fallen asleep! Luckily, the active I was paired with was really nice about it. We had a good laugh, and she helped me make it out of the room.
3) Donner: I got to Donner last. Burbank and Donner's rooms were really far from each other and in a twist of fate, it was actually raining!! (Keep in mind that this was in April in California). We were all wearing sundresses (as recommended by ISC), and I was wearing heeled sandals. Getting in between houses was a mess. Once I got there, everything was going great. I enjoyed talking to all of the women until the end. The last girl I was talking to was telling me a funny story (which I enjoyed) until it ended with her and some sisters smoking weed in the storage facility of their house! I was really shocked that she would mention that, being that it was rush and all. I am not a smoker (at all), but I am also not judge-y about what people like to do in their spare time. Still, I thought it showed a huge lapse in judgement that she would think that was a rush appropriate story.

I had a really hard time ranking. I knew I was going to keep Burbank who had been my long-standing favorite, but I was struggling about whether I wanted to rank Serra or Donner last. The last Donner party (lol) I had gone to confirmed my suspicion that they were a little to wild for my taste. On the other hand, they were housed and my best friend was SET on becoming a Donner.

In the end, I ranked Serra last.

I arrived to Pref Night, super excited about almost being done with rush and a part of a new sisterhood. I went to my Rho Gamma table and picked up my schedule for the night. I shocked to find out that I only had been invited back to Serra's party. I was absolutely devastated. I didn't especially care about losing Donner, but I had gone through the entire rush process assuming I was going to be a Burbank. I kept tracing back over the nights, trying to figure out where I went wrong, and how this could have happened. My friends in Burbank had spent an entire quarter telling me how I would make an amazing Burbank! I almost didn't pull it together in time to go to my party.

1) Serra: Frankly I don't remember the ceremony that well, because I was still so upset about Burbank. I tried my very best to be cheerful and engaged, but when I wasn't talking to an active, I kinda tuned out the ceremony. I left Serra really unsure what to do.

I must admit, our Rho Gamma's that year really weren't that great, and I didn't really feel comfortable with them (I don't think I ever really even knew their names b/c I missed the Info night in which we were assigned to our groups b/c I had a class at that time). I ended up signing my bid card on a whim, and went back to my dorm.

My best friend got back from an amazing night at Donner, and I was still crushed. I cried for a bit, and wasn't even sure if I would accept a bid if I got one from Serra. Luckily, I had very wise and supportive friends. They let me stew that night, but in the morning (before bid day started) they came to my room and really advocated for giving Serra a try. They talked about how I really had liked them all along, but never had given them a fair chance because of the housing factor. Plus, they reminded me that since I signed my bid card, I would have to wait a year to be a part of the Greek system if I turned my bid down. (I assumed I had gotten one since my Rho Gamma hadn't called me). They encouraged me to give it a shot and reminded me if I really didn't click with the girls I could de-pledge. Plus, they added that since essentially everyone in our dorm had rushed, I would constantly be seeing my friends go out to Greek events, and the way not to be left out would be to accept my bid.

I ended up accepting my bid to Serra which is, of course



















CHI OMEGA!!!


Epilogue:

The first couple of weeks were difficult and kinda awkward for me (everyone was so excited to be a Chi O, and I was still nursing my wounds from the Burbank fiasco). However, it did help that when I looked at the girls who went Burbank my year, they were not girls that I particularly liked or got along with. This helped me know that I probably would not have been particularly happy as a Burbank.

Once the first weeks passed, I really started to enjoy Chi O. I met my big, who I maintain is one of the best people I know, and started really bonding with my pledge class. I made it a point to go to every event I possibly could and really get to know the girls. I ended up "drawing" (aka choosing to live with) some of my Chi O sisters. Since then, I have served on Chi O executive board, gone on (multiple) vacations with my sisters, and have laughed and cried with them. They are honestly some of the most fantastic people that I have ever met, and I can truly say that if I was a little bit more like each one of my sisters, I would be a better person, in general.

So, in summary, if you are thinking about rushing or are rushing and end up being in my situation, I really do recommend giving it an honest shot. Not a "I-will-go-to-one-event-a-month-and-brood-in-my-room shot," but an honest to goodness shot. You will never get to know your sisters, never the less, get to like them if you don't put yourself out there and give them a chance. You may never know, it could be the best decision of your college career. It was for me!

[DarlingTexan]

Great story with some fabulous advice!

OPEN MIND
OPEN MIND
OPEN MIND
OPEN MIND

[AOII Angel]

Wonderful story. Sometimes your home picks you and not the other way around.

[NutBrnHair]

So glad you are one of us.

[redlady2]

Yes! Yes yes yes. So many women get a bid they aren't crazy about, give up, walk away, and miss out on being Greek entirely. You can't join a different house for at least a year, so why not give it a REAL try? It is so hard to "trust the system" because it can hurt so much to be released from places where you really felt you belonged, but the houses generally have a better sense of who would and wouldn't fit, and so the house that bids you thinks you are a good match. It is completely worth trying it out, and I bet most of the time, the outcome is like this.