Humor: What we should do to bin Laden

aephi alum · #1 10-11-2001, 08:00 PM

I saw this on another board I read...

If we kill bin Laden, he's a martyr.

If we imprison him, he could escape, or his terrorist organization could spring him, or negotiate for his release, etc.

So what should we do?

We should find out where he is, send in a team to kidnap him, and take him to a hospital. There, surgeons will perform a sex change operation on him. "She" will then be returned to Afghanistan, where "she" will have to live as a woman under Taliban rule.

Given how poorly the Taliban treat women, it would be a fitting end for ol' bin Laden

josh8o · #2 10-11-2001, 08:18 PM

ha ha ha!
this kicks!

Dejajeva · #3 10-11-2001, 08:25 PM

I did hear about this joke, I died laughing.

It goes something like this:

President Bush and Bin Laden were walking one day, talking about their difficulties. They came upon a genie lamp. They rub it and out pops a genie which gives them each one wish.

Bin Laden wishes for a wall to be built around his country- a large, strong wall where nobody could ever get in ( especially evil americans) and nobody could ever get out.

The genie says a few words and then it was done. A large wall was built around the country.

President Bush thinks for a long moment. He asks the genie:
"Is this wall big and strong and wont let anything in or out?"

"Yes" the genie replies.

The president thinks a moment longer before making his wish.
"Then fill it with water"...

ZTAngel · #4 10-11-2001, 11:41 PM

Take hot metal prongs off the burner and then stick it up his butt. Televise it. Sorry...know that's pretty gruesome but I have a lot of friends here who agree 100%.

SigmaChiCard · #5 10-12-2001, 08:17 AM

Man, I think Meth has the answers, here's (censored intensely) what he says about the situation.
>>>

I'll tie you to a bedpost
with your ass cheeks spread out, right?
Put a hanger on a stove and let it sit there
for like a half hour
Take it off and stick it in your ass slow like
Tssssssss

Yeah I'll lay your nuts on a dresser
Just your nuts layin on a dresser
And bang them with a spiked bat
Ooooohhhh

I'll pull your tongue out your mouth
and stab it with a rusty screwdriver, BLAOWW!!

sew your asshole closed, and keep feedin you
and feedin you, and feedin you, and feedin you

justamom · #6 12-07-2001, 07:48 AM

A guy walks in to a bar and discovers President Bush and Secretary Powell there in deep discussion.

"Hello," the guy says. "What are you guys doing?"

Bush replies, "We're planning World War III."

"Really," the guy says. "What's going to happen?"

Bush says, "Well, we're going to kill 10 million Taliban and one bicycle repairman."

"Why are you gonna kill a bicycle repairman?!!!" the man exclaims.

Bush turns to Powell and says, "See, I told you no one would worry about the 10 million Taliban!"

cutetiger · #7 12-07-2001, 10:51 AM

I think the funniest thing that I have seen so far is a bumper sticker. It goes like this....

Only God can judge Osama Bin Laden and his followers.

It's up to the United States to arrange the meeting!

Beef · #8 12-07-2001, 11:09 AM

He will be a martyr no matter what.

Capture him, shave his beard, and hang him upside down outside of a NYC Fire Dept. $5 a hit for anyone that wants one. And make him watch TeleTubbies over and over and over again.

Hootie · #9 12-07-2001, 05:29 PM

I think we should burry him alive! He can think about all the wrong things he did while he's suffocating to death.

LexiKD · #10 12-07-2001, 05:42 PM

I would let my Mom yell at him, that is torture enough.

Or let the NYPD get a hold of him.

Tom Earp · #11 12-07-2001, 05:58 PM

Spray liquid Viagra over his compound and when the little prick gets hard and pops his head up capture him!

First things first!

G8Ralphaxi · #12 12-08-2001, 02:30 AM

I think the funniest thing is the silly little people wringing their hands about what will happen when we "capture" him? What kind of "trial" will he have? Will he get an attorney? How could an American attorney represent him? And so on...

COME ON PEOPLE!!! Hello, Reality is calling for you! Yes, Reality is waiting on Line 1...Pick up please!

You know that when our soldiers find him, that bastard's gonna DIE. And it's NOT gonna be pretty!

There ain't no way that F***ER is going to make it to any courtroom.

And that is just fine by me. I may be a law student, but I realize that the definition of JUSTICE extends beyond a courtroom.

JUSTICE will come when that ugly dirty slimy soulless heartless not-fit-to-lick-the-personal-parts-of-a-plague-carrying-sewer-rat #$%^*! BASTARD dies. Slowly and painfully.

I have ZERO sympathy for him. Or any of the Taliban. Come on, you idiots, did you REALLY think that you could kill 1000's of American civilians and then remain in power when your military might consists of angry guys on horses? Admittedly, they're angry guys with Kalishnikovs on horses, but they're basically just guys on horses nonetheless. Actually a lot of them don't even have horses. So then it's just angry guys. What are you going to do? Yell at us? Ooooooooh, scary.

Especially when we have a Republican president, and goshdarnit, doncha know, those guys just love to spend money on bombs and planes. Hope they enjoy them. Here's a bomb for you, and Happy holidays, from America.

justamom · #13 12-08-2001, 06:39 AM

G8Ralphaxi--No need to sugarcoat it! LOL
I'm with ya 1000%!

Beef · #14 12-08-2001, 11:01 AM

I agree, but its nice to think about what we could hypathetically do to him

I hope he doesnt get captured. If he does, and we hear about it, there will be atleast one super bleeding heart loser that starts crying about his rights....( Note to liberals: Im not calling you bleeding heart losers

). The only right he has, is to get a bullet in his head.

DukeBlue · #15 12-08-2001, 11:05 AM

*is very much a liberal*

*wants to see him die as much as the most hardcore conservative*