Does any of this sound familiar?
I'm sitting in class a few minutes before the start, chatting with people around me, when one mentions she just got engaged. Two weeks before another kid in the class got engaged. The girl that sits right next to me is 25, and this is her 2nd engagement. Their ages are 24, 25 and 25. Here I am, at 22, realizing that they are only a few years older than me, and are embarking on this part of their lives already. Hell, my parents got married when they were 19 and 18. Maybe its just me, but I seem to be one of the only few around me who seems to NEED to be totally cool with myself and where I'm at in my life BEFORE putting the ring on my girls finger. I never want two things to happen. First, i never want to think that I missed out or made a mistake. My dad got married young, before he ever messed around, and ended up doing that AFTER my parents were married, and they've never been the same since then. I also don't want to run the risk of having a kid and not being able to provide for it. That's something my parents had to deal with because they were so young, so I want to avoid it.
I guess what I'm really trying to figure out is, is it better to find yourself with or BEFORE a VERY serious relationship. I've been in two serious ones that lasted over a year each, did the hookup thing and got bored with it.( although that's probably a phase) Then I realize, i'm still pretty much a kid compared to the people I've been chatting with. Especially to those on the board that are engaged or married...how do you know when its WORTH taking the risk of losing everything so that you may even stand the chance of having everything with that one person. I always figured, when its her, you'll know, but I gotta be honest, trying and having it skyrocket and go great only to fail really knocks the heart out of ya. Maybe its just me being at an awkward age and really becoming an adult, but as I age day by day, it seems that I find out more and more about myself, yet realize I still got a long way to go.
This whole growing up thing has its moments.
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