To anyone who cared:

AngelPhiSig · #1 11-18-2001, 11:43 PM

I didnt get President or any of the positons that I ran for tonite... Im 1) a little bitter, 2) wanting to go jump off a bridge, 3) wondering why everyone hates me.... <3Ali

justamom · #2 11-19-2001, 12:27 AM

Dear sweet Angel, please don't take it too hard. It certainly doesn't mean your sisterhood isn't as true and loving as you felt prior to the elections, it only means that perhaps you didn't strategize as well as the other girl. Politics, whether you're talking about HS clubs . college orgs, or sororities exists and little coalitions are formed. I think the only thing that you may have misread was the shark instinct in your competition and their ability to campaign. I promise you in a week or two (or after the ceremony) all will be back to normal. I don't know what year you are in, but running for office is really an art. Often those that were officers in Jr High move on to Sr. High-into college and the other orgs they are in. It isn't personal -I promise you that-it's experience.

Have some faith in yourself and your vision. Personally, I'm the type that would orchestrate an opportunity to OUTSHINE the other person (yes, I'm very competitive) There will come a time when ideas just don't flow or situations arise that reach dead ends. THAT is when you step up and supply the information (God how I lived for those moments) It will happen, and you will have proven you were the better person for the job. Right now, go ahead and be sad. I had a MAJOR hurt in HS and it took quite a while before I let it go-that's OK. Just seek your strength and find your best "I'll show them" attitude. You will evolve into an utterly amazing woman....................just like I did (JUST JOKING!!!)

DeltAlum · #3 11-19-2001, 12:38 AM

Angel,

You listen to Justamom. She is a wise woman. And she's got it exactly right.

Take a deep breath, put a smile on your face and work hard and the bitterness and sadness will go away quickly.

DGPhoney · #4 11-19-2001, 12:56 AM

I am soo sorry to hear you didn't get any of the positions you wanted. Don't be bitter for long dear, cause things will brighten up and there will still be other things you can do. Put your best face forward and be sure to voice your opinion and show them what exactly you are made out of. Go out again for the next election and remind them of the great things you did this yr. I wish you the best of luck and for nothing but pure happiness
DGPhoney~

PKTSU01 · #5 11-19-2001, 01:10 AM

Ali, listen up kiddo.
I know you're bumming at this point, and nothing any of us say is really going to eliminate the feelings you feel at this point, but you're about to get the same words I gave to a brother of mine in my chapter who got the same kind of raw deal. First, i know that you're bitter. Wanting to help and not getting the opportunity sucks. These girls, who are supposed to be your buds didn't place you in the position you wanted. These feelings will most likely lift with time. Second, come on sista, your ass doesn't want to jump off a bridge! Third, no one hates you, and if you DO believe that, you're kidding yourself. Like justamom said, elections have to do with politics, period. if someone wanted to vote for a person in their clique, they were'nt going to vote for you no matter how good your intentions were or how much you love the group. Situations like these suck and are unfair, but that;s the game you play when running for leadership positions.

Now, as someone who has been President of his fraternity, i've had the opportunity to watch how the guys who are leaders in the group now came to be. The ones who are the leaders now came to the realization that positions within a group have NOTHING to do with leadership or impact. Ever seen a president who didn't do jack for a group? of course ya have. Ever seen a rush "chair" that motivated a group more than the "leadership" could? I know I have. My point is this, just because you didn't get the positions you wanted, doesn't mean you should just say F$#* em' and let go of the will to help the group. If anything, giving more to the group and being a better sister will make you into a stronger leader to not only your current sisters, but also the younger girls who may look up to you. And, best of all, your success will show the girls who didn't vote for ya what a mistake they made. So either way, you win!

Again, from experience I can say that people won't remember someone because of the position they held, but rather for what they gave to the group. Some of the best leaders our group had weren't people who were supposed to be the leaders, but those that gave their brothers 100% heart 100% of the time. If you can honestly do that in spite of this dissapointment, you win.

good luck
Sal

AngelPhiSig · #6 11-19-2001, 01:12 AM

The thing is, I WAS the best canidate for president... and yet they chose someone else... right now, our chapter is a little cut throat... theres a little clique that seems to be ruling everything... and I am not in it. I cannot sit by and watch our sorority go downhill... and me being some chair isnt going to do anything, I will have like no say in anything, and I cant go from being on e-board to not... which now basically brands me as a loser. Im probobly not ever going to be on e-board again, and my little is probobly going to get pres next year... which leaves me on my education block, and student teaching, and never able to have it... I mean my main goal is to be a chapter consultant after college and then a division undergrad president and then natonal president... but who knows, if I cant even get president of my own chapter, how can I get it of all the sorority?!

Im so sick of everything right now...
(this coming from the girl who knows everything about her own org (and there are people who dont even remember their alphabet in our chapter...), and more about the NPC than any other girl in her chapter...)

and PS, yes alot of people in my chapter dont like me

Siobhan · #7 11-19-2001, 01:15 AM

Ali,

The 1st time I ran for pres I lost, so I went in and ran for 1st VP and lost and 2nd VP and lost and fianally won 3rd VP which was a position I had no intention of running for (VP Rush). I was so heart broken and felt really down-trodden. To make matters worse the girl that won pres was nowhere as qualified as I was and she had no idea of what she was doing. Days after she was elected she asked me what NPC stood for. I couldn't believe she was president and didn't know what it stood for

... However I ended loving being rush chair, and the year after I decided to try for Pres again - second time round I blew my competition out of the water. It is always hard at first, I know I've been there - but trust me in a few days or weeks you will totally feel back to normal and things will continue on as usual

PKTSU01 · #8 11-19-2001, 01:25 AM

and me being some chair isnt going to do anything, I will have like no say in anything, and I cant go from being on e-board to not... which now basically brands me as a loser

that's bulls$*t! If 4 or 5 peopel are legitimately running your group and not taking say from others, you have some serious division of power problems that need to be resolved. Not sure how it is in your chapter, but the COLLECTIVE say is always what mattered, not the opinion of the "elite" few who think their opinion matters more. If that's your case, you have poor leadership , which means if you are as hardcore as you seem to be, you'll need to put in even more to counteract the popularity contest for the good of the group.

As far as people not liking you. That's not really of prime importance if you want to be a leader. Some guys in my group would have kicked my ass if given the chance, but they HAD to respect me because of what I could give the group. And when it came to crunch time, they always had my back as the group representative to anyone be it another group or the university administration, because they knew I cared too much to let the group fail. You said it yourself, you don't want to sit by and let the group fall. You don't? Then recoup your losses and show them who is stronger in will, because if you lose heart due to this, you can kiss your dreams of leading goodbye. No one will follow a leader who doesn't have enough heart to fight through pain.

Whew, that was my attempt to motivate ya. If it didn't work, drop me an email or soemthing, I'll yell at ay some more

AngelPhiSig · #9 11-19-2001, 01:55 AM

Right now, my thinking is, if I am historian, which is like the ONLY other thing I would want, how can I show the group that I would be a good pres? No way is there? huh...

And they also like to hold my neat ness aganst me, which meaning, I have no neat bones in my body, and they like to say Im unorganized... my neatness and organization go no where near eachother.... I think differently than alot of people... and that also means that I organize different, my mess dosent look like mess to me. And see, everyone back home knows this, and some of my sisters, and friends here know it to...

I am just fed up with this at the moment, the organization as a whole, because of the fact that there is too much crap going on... blah, Im going to go to bed...

PKTSU01 · #10 11-19-2001, 02:02 AM

Historian huh? Well, in my chapter, the historian held two roles. Informing everyone of the group's past and made them realize what they were doing in the present would become history. Pretty much made the group somewhat tighter and more aware that their actions would influence the rep of the present group and their relation to the history of the chapter as a whole. but, i won't bs you, there is a major difference in ability to shape the group between the pres and historian positions. Then again, our Homecoming chair my senior year was the most motivational person we had, he even motivated me to do better for the group 24/7, even when i thought i was giving it my all.

BrownEyedGirl · #11 11-19-2001, 11:26 AM

Ohh, Angel, I just want to throw my $.02 in and tell you how sorry I am you didn't get what you wanted.

Honestly, I may be singing the same song as you tonight after OUR chapter's elections...I guess we'll have to wait and see on that one.

I hope you realize, though, that while it feels very personal right now, you have Thanksgiving coming up, and when you get back, it will be off of everyone's minds. I don't know what else you were up for or what other positions are open now, but I know you'd do a great job at whatever you set your mind to do. I can tell your chapter is important to you, and eventually, if you are the better candidate, your sisters will wish they had voted you in. The qualities that would make you a great president, however, will make you a very active and devoted sister if you try your best not to take this to heart. Keep your chin up and stay involved - if one clique is really running things, you sorority needs you big time!!

Good luck, babe! (And please be prepared to share this same advice with ME in about twelve hours if necessary!)

GmuTeke · #12 11-19-2001, 12:07 PM

Angel,

We had elections last night, and we joked that one of our brothers, Lance, was like the Susan Lucci of elections, nominated for everything, but didnt win. Lance kept up a good attitude about the process though, and he knows that he can still benefit the chapter in learning and growing.

Simply because you're not an officer in name doesn't mean you can't be in charge. Let them have their titles and do their thing, and then you can be the one who people know will actually get the job done. Smile, be happy, and think of this coming year as a giant campaign period for president. Show them you have leadership skills, organizational talents and a good balance of what it takes to be an officer. Next year, if you're elected, great. If not, you've had a great year for your chapter regardless.

As long as the chapter benefits, it doesnt matter whose hand the gavel is in.

MooseGirl · #13 11-19-2001, 12:38 PM

Angel,

Don't give up! This may be a setback, but there is no reason why you should not keep moving forward. Do a great job as Historian and I'm sure some of the girls will see that you are a great member. As well, the chapter dynamic may change; your chapter will be adding new members who cannot all fit into the clique and so will need you and your friends.
And don't give up your dream of being a consultant(i did, and regret it). Not all consultants were Archon, or even on eboard.
You know that many of your sisters appreciate all that you have done for them already.

Please stay positive!

Thrillhouse · #14 11-19-2001, 02:19 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by MooseGirl
Angel,

Don't give up! This may be a setback, but there is no reason why you should not keep moving forward. Do a great job as Historian and I'm sure some of the girls will see that you are a great member. As well, the chapter dynamic may change; your chapter will be adding new members who cannot all fit into the clique and so will need you and your friends.
And don't give up your dream of being a consultant(i did, and regret it). Not all consultants were Archon, or even on eboard.
You know that many of your sisters appreciate all that you have done for them already.

Please stay positive!

My thoughts exactly

AOIIBrandi · #15 11-19-2001, 05:46 PM

Angel,

Don't give up, and don't let them think they got the best of you. Instead go to every function there is. Be the one that the rest of the greek community sees and says: "she's the most dedicated one out here." Get the other sisters, not involved in the clique, to band together to change what is in place now.

If during the year a position opens up (and there always is) run for it no matter what (that's how I got 2nd VP), and be the most qualified. Do your research and present action items when you get the chance to say why you should be elected. If you are the only one who can present strong evidence that you will work hard then they can't help but elect you, even if you think they don't like you.