Any Advice Appreciated

[MJR518]

Hi, so I joined my NPC sorority last year with our most recent new member class. During my new member period we had what would be called a dry pledge period. We were not allowed to drink even if we were 21 and would not get initiated if we did.

This fall before recruitment the subject of the no drinking rule came up at a meeting and our pledge mom explained to all of us that technically we're not supposed to do it and that we could get in trouble for it. I had no idea about this so it was all news to me, I was a bit shocked. So the chapter voted on it and we decided to keep the dry period.

I was one of the girls who voted against it. I love my sorority and everything about it so far and I'm worried we would get shut down so I didn't think we should take the risk.

This past week my pledge mom sat down with me to talk to me about it and explained that it's not a big deal and it's tradition in this chapter and if I didn't let it go a lot of sisters would be really mad at me, making things difficult for me.

I don't know what to do. Do I speak up? Who do I talk to? I'm not even sure what sisters I can't talk to about it, I don't know who to trust. Is this really a big deal? Like would we for sure get shut down?

[AlphaFrog]

No NPCs have those kind of rules - that would be considered hazing. Follow your chapter chain of command, then take it to the regional/national level if you want. Do be aware, however, that you're probably ostracizing yourself. Is it worth it?

[AZTheta]

Originally Posted by MJR518

Hi, so I joined my NPC sorority last year with our most recent new member class. During my new member period we had what would be called a dry pledge period. We were not allowed to drink even if we were 21 and would not get initiated if we did.

This fall before recruitment the subject of the no drinking rule came up at a meeting and our pledge mom explained to all of us that technically we're not supposed to do it and that we could get in trouble for it. I had no idea about this so it was all news to me, I was a bit shocked. So the chapter voted on it and we decided to keep the dry period.

I was one of the girls who voted against it. I love my sorority and everything about it so far and I'm worried we would get shut down so I didn't think we should take the risk.

This past week my pledge mom sat down with me to talk to me about it and explained that it's not a big deal and it's tradition in this chapter and if I didn't let it go a lot of sisters would be really mad at me, making things difficult for me.

I don't know what to do. Do I speak up? Who do I talk to? I'm not even sure what sisters I can't talk to about it, I don't know who to trust. Is this really a big deal? Like would we for sure get shut down?

QFP.

Wondering if this is unique to this particular chapter on this campus? I personally have not heard of such a practice.*

Recalling that lots of "traditions" went flying out the window (thankfully) as hazing came to light.

*ETA: just because I haven't heard of it personally means diddleysquat. There are lots of things that happen or fly under the radar until someone does the right thing and shines a light...

[ree-Xi]

Originally Posted by MJR518

Hi, so I joined my NPC sorority last year with our most recent new member class. During my new member period we had what would be called a dry pledge period. We were not allowed to drink even if we were 21 and would not get initiated if we did.

This fall before recruitment the subject of the no drinking rule came up at a meeting and our pledge mom explained to all of us that technically we're not supposed to do it and that we could get in trouble for it. I had no idea about this so it was all news to me, I was a bit shocked. So the chapter voted on it and we decided to keep the dry period.

I was one of the girls who voted against it. I love my sorority and everything about it so far and I'm worried we would get shut down so I didn't think we should take the risk.

This past week my pledge mom sat down with me to talk to me about it and explained that it's not a big deal and it's tradition in this chapter and if I didn't let it go a lot of sisters would be really mad at me, making things difficult for me.

I don't know what to do. Do I speak up? Who do I talk to? I'm not even sure what sisters I can't talk to about it, I don't know who to trust. Is this really a big deal? Like would we for sure get shut down?

Technically, having specific rules for new members falls into the current translation of "hazing", but without all of the information, it's hard to give you specific advice.

Is this rule against only drinking in the house or at sorority events? (Is this a campus or bylaws issue?)

What are you "technically not supposed to do" and could "get in trouble for" - drink, or forbid pledges (sorry, new members) to drink?

Are you 21? If your class is mostly freshman, I bet most of you aren't old enough to drink legally (I'm wondering if that's where the "tradition" began). If you aren't 21, is this something important enough to "do something" about (for the short new member period)?

The solution would be that if you are 21 and don't live with members, and are in either dorms that allow of-age students to drink, or live off campus, just don't drink in front of others for the time period. I'll repeat the question - If you ARE at least 21, is this something important enough to "do something" about (for the short new member period)?

I think that there is more to this story that we aren't reading.

[jennyj87]

Originally Posted by MJR518

This past week my pledge mom sat down with me to talk to me about it and explained that it's not a big deal and it's tradition in this chapter and if I didn't let it go a lot of sisters would be really mad at me, making things difficult for me.

Just because its tradition, doesn't make it right. Thats where a lot of hazing issues stem from.

If you're not 21 you shouldn't be drink. Thats the law. They shouldn't even really be addressing a 'dry pledge period' since its aginst the last for you to drink anyway.





Speaking of-Happy National Hazing Prevention Week

[MJR518]

Originally Posted by ree-Xi

Technically, having specific rules for new members falls into the current translation of "hazing", but without all of the information, it's hard to give you specific advice.

Is this rule against only drinking in the house or at sorority events? (Is this a campus or bylaws issue?)

What are you "technically not supposed to do" and could "get in trouble for" - drink, or forbid pledges (sorry, new members) to drink?

Are you 21? If your class is mostly freshman, I bet most of you aren't old enough to drink legally (I'm wondering if that's where the "tradition" began). If you aren't 21, is this something important enough to "do something" about (for the short new member period)?

The solution would be that if you are 21 and don't live with members, and are in either dorms that allow of-age students to drink, or live off campus, just don't drink in front of others for the time period. I'll repeat the question - If you ARE at least 21, is this something important enough to "do something" about (for the short new member period)?

I think that there is more to this story that we aren't reading.

The rule is no drinking at all. My issue with it isn't that new members can't drink or that when I was a new a member I wanted to drink. I'm an active sister now and I just think it's a stupid rule if it's something that could get us in trouble with headquarters.

We're technically not supposed to make the new members not drink.

Also is it true that you're not allowed to have a party with alcohol the same night as big day? Normally we have a big party after bid day is over (at another location) as like a last party for the new members until after initiation. The no drinking rule doesn't start until after pinning later in the week.

[knight_shadow]

Originally Posted by MJR518

We're technically not supposed to make the new members not drink.

You answered your own question.

Also is it true that you're not allowed to have a party with alcohol the same night as big day? Normally we have a big party after bid day is over (at another location) as like a last party for the new members until after initiation. The no drinking rule doesn't start until after pinning later in the week.

You need to ask your advisor(s) or executive board about this -- they (and you, for that matter) should know what your rules/regulations are.

[AlphaFrog]

Originally Posted by MJR518

The rule is no drinking at all. My issue with it isn't that new members can't drink or that when I was a new a member I wanted to drink. I'm an active sister now and I just think it's a stupid rule if it's something that could get us in trouble with headquarters.

We're technically not supposed to make the new members not drink.

Also is it true that you're not allowed to have a party with alcohol the same night as big day? Normally we have a big party after bid day is over (at another location) as like a last party for the new members until after initiation. The no drinking rule doesn't start until after pinning later in the week.

I assume you mean "bid day"...NPC rules do not allow alcohol on bid day. I would say that drinking technically shouldn't be an issue for 90% of your underage pledge class, but I'm being real here. Fact is, if they're throwing a drinking party for the pledges before they make them go dry for pledging, there's multiple legal/NPC rules/ridiculousness factors in play here.

[33girl]

You are not supposed to have a party with alcohol on bid day. However, lots of groups (like yours) get around it by having a party that starts serving at midnight or somesuch thing.

You were definitely hazed and by voting to keep the dry pledge period, your chapter is pretty much saying "we're going to haze again." This isn't a relatively new thing like no scavenger hunts. This has been regarded as hazing for ALMOST FORTY YEARS.

If another sorority on campus wanted to bust you, reporting that you do this to your NMs is all it would take. ESPECIALLY if initiated sisters who are under 21 are drinking at events.

Originally Posted by ree-Xi

Are you 21? If your class is mostly freshman, I bet most of you aren't old enough to drink legally (I'm wondering if that's where the "tradition" began). If you aren't 21, is this something important enough to "do something" about (for the short new member period)?

The solution would be that if you are 21 and don't live with members, and are in either dorms that allow of-age students to drink, or live off campus, just don't drink in front of others for the time period. I'll repeat the question - If you ARE at least 21, is this something important enough to "do something" about (for the short new member period)?

Yes, it IS important enough to do something about. This is pretty much the definition of hazing - not allowing pledges to do something that is perfectly legal (if they're 21) and that has NOTHING to do with learning the history or policies of the organization or the chapter.

[DubaiSis]

How many things sound, um, inaccurate in this story?

[33girl]

Originally Posted by jennyj87

Just because it's tradition, doesn't make it right. Thats where a lot of hazing issues stem from.

If you're not 21 you shouldn't be drinking. That's the law. They shouldn't even really be addressing a 'dry pledge period' since it's against the law for you to drink anyway.

Just because a person is pledging doesn't mean she's under 21. (Or she could be in Canada where drinking age is 19.)

The fact that the majority of pledges are under drinking age does not make it right to enact rules that can negatively impact the minority.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by DubaiSis

How many things sound, um, inaccurate in this story?

Um, none, really. There really are still chapters out there pulling this shit - it isn't the first time someone's mentioned it on GC.

[agzg]

Originally Posted by MJR518

This past week my pledge mom sat down with me to talk to me about it and explained that it's not a big deal and it's tradition in this chapter and if I didn't let it go a lot of sisters would be really mad at me, making things difficult for me.

Hey, wow, what's up, intimidation of a newer member by an older member.

Which, actually, can be construed as hazing as well (new members are not the only sorority members that can be hazed).

[Alumiyum]

Unless your entire chapter stays sober throughout the new member period, this is hazing. It's something I've heard of before but I don't know of chapters that do this now, since it's hazing. If it were me I would invite myself to your executive council's meeting and remind them that this is hazing, period. The rule either needs to be abolished or changed so that every member, new and active, abstains from drinking throughout the new member period. If this does not start the wheels turning, your next step is to go to a chapter adviser.

Keep in mind, this will probably be an uphill battle. It's hard to fight chapter traditions, even when they are incorrect according to organization/NPC rules. You need to decide whether you can handle the flack you'll probably get. I would also recommend finding any other sisters in the chapter that feel as you do so that you are not trying to instigate change on your own.

As to bid day parties, they are not supposed to have alcohol. This means if you throw a bid day party, there shouldn't be any drinks served. On my campus sorority members go to the bar or a fraternity house on bid night, usually, which is a different matter.

[exlurker]

Originally Posted by Alumiyum

. . .As to bid day parties, they are not supposed to have alcohol. This means if you throw a bid day party, there shouldn't be any drinks served. On my campus sorority members go to the bar or a fraternity house on bid night, usually, which is a different matter.

I suppose that depending on campus practices, having a bid day party at a fraternity house might be a problem, and so might going to a bar. But realistically . ..?

NPC Unanimous Agreement:

"Each College Panhellenic Association shall prohibit the use of alcoholic beverages in membership recruitment and Bid Day activities. Each College Panhellenic shall prohibit the participation of men in membership recruitment and Bid Day activities. (2C & 2D)

"