My friends hate fraternities!!!! HELP

ShawnUTK · #1 04-03-2001, 11:31 AM

I am planning on going through rush in the fall. The problem is all my friends hate the frats. They call them spoiled rich boys and think they buy their friends, and they say frat guys treat them like trash when around any.Mostly i think their kind of jealous of them but i don't understand the way they hate them.Also I haven't told any about rush because of the things I'll have to here. I was wondering if anyone else had this problem before and how you handled it.

Thanks

fuzzie · #2 04-03-2001, 01:16 PM

I can understand what you're going through. I had a roommate in college that hated all greeks with a passion. I rushed informal, so I only had to go to rush for two nights. Anyhow, I would sneak out of the apartment, and if they happened to be there, I would just tell them I had something to do, but never told them what. Well, it just so happened that the night that my bid was delivered, she was up late watching TV with me (which she hardly ever did during the week) and that is how she found out I was going to pledge. She was really awkward around me for a while. Hindsight being 20/20, I now realize that she thought I was not going to ever have enough time for her anymore and that I would soon be spending ALL my time with my sorority. Long story short, she got over it and realized that there was room in my life for my sorority and her and we are still the best of friends and she'll be one of my bridesmaids in September.

I also got a lot of ribbing from my boyfriend's (now fiance) friends. I just took that in stride because that is the way they are and they soon got over it and one of them commented later to my b/f that I was a lot less reserved and so much happier and entertaining. I used to be very shy and quiet. The sorority had given me more confidence and loosened me up a little.

My friends had all of the misconceptions that you stated, but I'd like to think that they have reevaluated their view of greeks because of me. Hopefully you can do the same for your friends.

If I had it to do over, I would definitely do it again, but probably be more open about it with everyone

Good luck!

------------------
"Would you not like to be sitting on top of the world with your legs hanging free?" -- Dave Matthews

DGPhoney · #3 04-03-2001, 02:50 PM

Well I wish you luck with rush. I start off y saying getting to know the guys first, you can't really judge someone just by their title. Also expalin to your friends the reason why you want to be apart of greek life, and why a particular fraternity. Other then that sometimes when people have set opinions on things it's hard to change that. Plus if they truly are your peeps, they let it be so and support you when you do your thang....
Well, I hope I helped *
DGPhoney

Delta Gamma Pi MC Sorority

Lil_G · #4 04-03-2001, 04:27 PM

Shaun man, don't let it get to you.

I go to a school with a 1% greek population, like yourself all my freinds and family hate fraternities. I could not understand it and got in some real heated arguments over it.

Unfourtunately for me, my greek life has to be segregated from my other non-greek freinds. I'm sorry to say, this point of conflict may always be there with your freinds since it hasn't gone away with mine yet

Take everything in stride, try to get them to understand that this is important to you and that it won't change your relationship with your freinds.

kappadiva · #5 04-03-2001, 07:20 PM

show them that you are not the sterotypical greek person. If thedy still don't like the whole greek thing, then ask them why. hope this help

33girl · #6 04-03-2001, 08:49 PM

Go through rush, don't let ANYONE talk you out of something you want to do. Like fuzzie said, they may worry that you won't spend time with them anymore. Or they may be jealous because you are doing something they would like to do, but don't have the balls to. Show them that you are still their friend and want to spend time with them whether you have Greek letters on your chest or not.

If you do all that, and your friends spurn you anyway, they really weren't your friends to begin with.

Miami1839 · #7 04-03-2001, 09:32 PM

ShawnUTK,

I agree very strongly with 33girl and LiL_G.

I myself have parents who were and are still against the fact that I went greek. But then I have an aunt and uncle that are greek so that helps out during thanksgiving and christmas. The way I look at is I am my own Man and I make my own decisions. Dont let anyone push you into making the decisions that you want to make, because ultimately you want to do whats right for you. I had guys on the rugby team that couldnt understand why I pledged Beta but they got over it and I really didnt hang out with them once I became a Brother. But that was their loss. If you become a part of greek life you'll find out that you'll have plenty of time with to make friends outside your Fraternity. I certinally did

If they decide otherwise its on them and they werent really your friends to begin with.

Kevin

pikeks109 · #8 04-04-2001, 02:09 AM

Don't listen to anyone, just go through rush if you really believe that its for you. I had the same problems with my friends but once I crossed the line, I told my friends about it. That it wasn't just an organization to gain friends by paying money. Once I told them about it, they all rushed the next semester. "If I payed money for my friends, I certainly didn't pay enough"

AlphaChiGirl · #9 04-05-2001, 06:37 PM

Same thing happened to me and one friend in particular. She was kinda dumb--I wore my pledge pin around her during my entire NM Education period, and she didn't notice. She would complain about how everyone in fraternities and sororities were wealthy, spoiled athletes, and how they just wanted me because of whatever stupid reason she could come up with. She eventually found out and got over it. My other friends were supportive, they aren't the types who want to go to fraternity parties, but they are very open and supportive about it. I'm also seeing someone who is against the Greek system, but is supportive and is willing to go to my semi-formals and crush parties with me!

It probably helped me that I have many friends (not from college, but from high school) and family members who are greek or supportive of the Greek system.

If they are your true friends, they'll get over the shallowness of their arguments. You'll do what's best for you.

ErikaXO · #10 04-05-2001, 10:58 PM

I have never understood why some people are so vehemently anti-greek. I was fortunate not to have to deal with that from my family and friends, in fact everyone was very supportive. You need to do what feels right for you. You are not going to change....the fraternity may help bring out some of your talents and qualities, and may help you to discover new interests, but you will still be you. If these guys are your true friends, they will still be there for you when they see that you are still there for them. If not, then what's the big loss? One of the best parts for me about going to college was weeding out my true friends from the people I was just kind of hanging out with because they were there. The most important people in my life stuck around (all went greek, but we all pledged different GLOs) and are still here, plus I got to have a fabulous greek experience. Good luck!