Pref Night Questions

goinggreek · #1 09-08-2010, 04:10 PM

Hi guys, I'm going through rush as we speak. Rush this year at my school is really unusual, there's a two day break in the middle. Friday is pref night. I had a full schedule last night, 3 houses, but needless to say I'm nervous about pref because of how brutal the cuts were to many of my friends so far.

The two day break is both a blessing and a curse. While I have an opportunity to get some work done it's hard to concentrate on work when everyone I know (myself included) is freaking out about what will happen come friday.

So i've been poking around on GC for a while, but I haven't really been able to find much information about pref night in particular. What is it like? What kind of conversations are appropriate to have at this stage of the game? Should I be trying to connect with the girls about things outside of the rush process/greek life (like, should I carry the conversation over to tv shows we both like ect. like I have been doing so far in rush) or should I stick to questions about their sorority? Is it too late to ask questions without seeming like I have nothing else to say?

I have had my heart set on going greek for a long time, and while I have fallen in love with a couple of houses on campus I've been so nervous the whole time I am worried my nervousness prevented me from showing the girls who I really am. I'm worried that my nerves kept me from connecting deeply enough that I will be invited back to my favorite chapters.

So, some information about what will happen on friday will seriously help quell some of my nerves. THanks so much!

KSUViolet06 · #2 09-08-2010, 04:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by goinggreek

Hi guys, I'm going through rush as we speak. Rush this year at my school is really unusual, there's a two day break in the middle. Friday is pref night. I had a full schedule last night, 3 houses, but needless to say I'm nervous about pref because of how brutal the cuts were to many of my friends so far.

The two day break is both a blessing and a curse. While I have an opportunity to get some work done it's hard to concentrate on work when everyone I know (myself included) is freaking out about what will happen come friday.

So i've been poking around on GC for a while, but I haven't really been able to find much information about pref night in particular. What is it like? What kind of conversations are appropriate to have at this stage of the game? Should I be trying to connect with the girls about things outside of the rush process/greek life (like, should I carry the conversation over to tv shows we both like ect. like I have been doing so far in rush) or should I stick to questions about their sorority? Is it too late to ask questions without seeming like I have nothing else to say?

I have had my heart set on going greek for a long time, and while I have fallen in love with a couple of houses on campus I've been so nervous the whole time I am worried my nervousness prevented me from showing the girls who I really am. I'm worried that my nerves kept me from connecting deeply enough that I will be invited back to my favorite chapters.

So, some information about what will happen on friday will seriously help quell some of my nerves. THanks so much!

Every chapter is different. Generally, Pref Night is the most serous night of recruitment. The party is longer. There is usually food, singing, a ceremony of some sort, chapter members might speak about what XYZ means to them. The dress is more formal.

At this point, you've spent a couple nights with these women so you'll be past all the "what's your major?" type questions. The topics are usually more sorority-oriented.

DubaiSis · #3 09-09-2010, 02:14 AM

You SHOULD be talking with a girl (possibly just one, depending on their program) who you've already spoken to, and it SHOULD be all about sisterhood. It will have a very different vibe from your other parties.

Read through some retro recruitment stories. They're usually pretty detailed about pref because it's what we all remember years later.

DeltaBetaBaby · #4 09-09-2010, 11:39 AM

People don't like to give too much info about prefs, because they are very special to the women in the chapter, but you really don't need to worry. Odds are good you will be speaking to a girl to whom you've already spoken, or someone specifically picked out for you. If you get emotional, that's okay. If you don't, that's okay too. Just know that, if you are invited to prefs, the chapter sees something special in you and really wants to show you the importance of their sisterhood.

greekmomjo · #5 09-09-2010, 09:47 PM

If conversation lags, ask them what they like about their house! Why did you choose XYZ?

And if you are asked "what other houses are you going to, or who else do you like?" take the High Road, and answer that you feel a connection to XYZ (whichever house you are currently standing in) and really think they are great. It is ok to say that you love their house!

Final recruitment events can get weepy, seniors especially get all choked up. If you are a PNM sitting there you can feel uncomfortable with that emo, especially when you aren't feeling any of it. But consider that they have special bonds, and it is being shown to you that they really care about each other. This is a GOOD THING!

Alumiyum · #6 09-10-2010, 08:51 AM

I know today is the day but...

Pref is usually about the sorority and sisterhood. So on your end, talk about what you like about the girls you've met and the chapter in general, and ask any questions you have. Do be yourself, but unless the active steers the conversation towards current events/movies/etc., don't bring them up yourself. However, unless you are die hard committed to one chapter, do NOT say you are ranking them first. It can cause hurt feelings if you change your mind, and you might. After my first pref I called my mother and told her I thought I was going there, then after the second I suicided my sorority. (Which, looking back was unnecessary, but it did all work out well for me.)

And as for tears, there might be some. If you're an emotional person and cry, that's fine and you definitely won't be the only one, but I didn't and in fact tears make me uncomfortable. If you're like me, don't let them turn you off. They might make you feel awkward, but the tears come from a good place.

honeychile · #7 09-10-2010, 09:37 PM

I'm late to this thread, but there's one piece of advice I was given that I think is very important: at the Pref parties, look around you. Are these the women you want as your sisters for the rest of your life? Look especially at the others PNMs, and make sure that you could be friends with them. You're talking about a lifelong commitment, based on the women seated around you!